I am very careful about my sexual organs before sex. Sometimes it’s so careful that sex doesn’t seem like it’s necessary :(

Traffic, an unregulated intersection, the DPS employee pulls out of the left row and shows where to park, and then climbs under the wheels. From the counter stream at the Mercedes, the glass descends, the driver whispers loudly "Stop him!"

News about the fact that the Haishniki sanctified the most dangerous crossings of Dnipropetrovsk

At first I thought that the trick was a grammatical error - wanted to write "ObsvEtyle", the type of lights put. But they really illuminated them. Ukraine, together with Russia, is heading into the abyss towards Iran.

If you have an imaginary friend, you are a fool; if you have an imaginary friend in the crowd, you are a religion.
They’re all zombie, and they don’t see or want to see anything but that... (c) _rotweilerlove_

xxx: “I consider people who look at the internet and bloggers to be idiots,” said State Duma deputy Josef Kobzon.
yyy: said @Kobzon ))))))))

“Christine, who asked you to have sex with him?
YYY: Well, he came in for a visit...

The press service of the university is proud to post in "VKontakte" a request from the regional Investigative Administration: "In connection with the investigation of criminal case No***, I ask you to send to my address the information of the observatory about the phases of the moon of this and that number of this year".
Best comment: "Has the city turned around?"

Absolutely not a dust job ?
Sales Manager
Requirements: Literate speech, the desire to work at night shift with comfort.
Conditions of work: working shift 2-00 to 8-00. Working at home.
Responsibilities: call of the telephone base with the aim of attracting customers to use the credit card of the leading bank of Russia.

(Subject: Roskomnadzor recognizes hentai as child pornography, calls for complaints, promises to supplement the register of prohibited resources on the Internet)
Shara: Sorry for the modest question. Did you see evil in your childhood?
Juneuniversum: I have seen. Unfortunately.
JDima: What harm has it done to you?
Track: Well, you see, he writes in the hubr ;)

From Habr:

Millions of children are sitting in the classroom every day (isolated), overwhelmed with notes (paper sheets), images promoting suicide (man on the hanging) or other images (genital organs).
After the call, half of the class is thrown out of the windows, the other half violates everything that moves.
Do you not know?

It is good even to take sin on the soul prevents many from its absence.

This small sketch, based on reliable insider information, is unlikely to surprise people who are more or less aware of the order in Moscow. For others, it may seem very funny.

One bank decided to expand its retail business, which required a large-scale advertising campaign. We decided to choose the “face” of the bank, which would help to create a positive image and attract the widest possible audience. As a result of careful selection based on scrupulous marketing research, two candidates came to the final: Bruce Willis and... Ivan Urgant. In the end, as many already know, they chose Bruce. But not because according to research, he turned out to be the most positively perceived and famous actor in the world, and in Russia in particular. And not because a man who has repeatedly proven his ability to save the world from a crap is more associated with reliability... Just Vanya asked for twice as much money... 8-0

Do not tell anyone, this information is kept secret. First of all, Bruce Willis.

To the question: "How did you manage to get 99 points on the EGE in Russian?" Graduates of Caucasian schools responded with a choir: "In schools it was necessary to learn Harashō."

How pleasant to live in a country where the problems left only smoking people, gay and insulting cartoons, from which you do not want to leave, and stay and work for a great salary, spend it on things made right away, go to a great movie shot by domestic directors, feel protected by the police at any time of the day, occasionally receiving qualified medical care.

Q: What are you hitting on the monitor?
A: Yes, the progress bar bar bar has stopped, I'm knocking down, maybe stuck somewhere.
D: You probably also shake the electronic thermometer at home.

xxx: when the choice was made, which film to go, decided to go to "After our era"
The argument was - Will Smith is not in the h*yeon
XHH: after watching the movie verified - filmed)

xxx: Today in the subway I watched a girl with a small savage in her hand. The frog behaved so pofigistically towards the crowd of passengers that he wanted to have the same flegmatic bird.

Yyy: In the universe, as a student, I was constantly watching a girl — a goat with a frog in his hand.

zzz: I have a single group in the universe with worms for 5 years.)

Here is here:
— — — —
The news:
Students will be forced to undergo a drug test. The test will be conducted in two phases. In the first stage, students write the test anonymously and without a signature, compiled by the best psychologists. The second stage is a medical examination. It will be passed by students who have not passed the test".

How? How do they know who has not passed the written test if it is written anonymously?
— — — —

LOL, LOL and LOL ?

xxx: Something I have from this weather is breaking my head (Maybe, of course, it is the spine hamit.? You won’t throw it out!
YYY: You will be unspiritual
XXX is fuck! It is easier to live)
YYY: Do not tell me. Forget the ants, for example, all your life.
Yes, more deadly rays from the sky.
XXX: But you’re stylish and you have fun!
The acid, again
XXX: A small herd
xxx: a pair of mushrooms and molds
XXX: And the horse rider!! to
xxx: And all this in the average (not wealthy) ants

The director of finance is named Anatoly.
by Fabula:
Go to Finn. The director in the cabinet, immediately a colleague (Zam for AHO) swears money on the organization of the corporation. Phoenix, of course, clutches and counts the banknotes, as he pulls away from his body.
and ZAM. A.H. begins to whisper under his nose: "...only, only, only, only this is not enough...".
by Finn. Director: "Not Tolka, but Anatoly Nikolaevich!", but a couple of papers was removed :)