The funniest thing about the train.
Probably the 90s. The tram is half empty. A five-year-old student in white socks. Two majors stood and talked, but one did not stand:
Why do you wear white socks?
I wash often.

When we were walking here with a girl, she hugged the columns to cause my jealousy.
YYY: It seems she lacked something.
ZZZ : Oh yeah The length of column.

Talk about Peach

11 of 111. For a few years, I thought I had an energy-independent clock. Only recently saw - after each accidental shutdown of the leopard or daughter, or spouse brought to automation movements quickly hit the time ;)
222: Yes, you friends, just eternal batteries :-)))

To give hope, it is not enough to be just down, you need to be talented.

Lady Lena and Vlad.
The story is more instructive than funny.
About Russian immigrants, the shortest didn’t work out, but in our male view the story is worth it.

I have lived in London for a long time. London is very different, beautiful in places, rich in places, bright city. London is modern Babylon, you can find anything here, but I want to tell you about an emigrant girl named Lena.
My companion, a simple Russian guy from Latvia, came to England a couple of years ago, works quietly, and dreams of meeting a cute, kind and interesting girl from the Union.
Vlad met on classmates with an elegant girl named Lena. Lena said about herself that she works as a designer, is passionate about horse sports and dreams of going around the world on a 3x yacht. Vlad, about himself, said that a couple of years as he came, that he works as a driver, that in the evenings he studies in the universe and dreams of meeting a cute, good and interesting girl.
After some time, Lena agreed to meet in the center of the city in a cozy pub to skip a circle of elia and talk about the high.
Vlad sparked all my ears about what Lena was tall, how interesting she was, how much she had achieved in her incomplete 27 years.
He counted the minutes before their first date, Vlad was very worried and asked me if he, a simple driver, could hope for reciprocity from the beautiful and successful girl of the designer, I remained silent, trying not to say too much.
And then the day X came, Vlad and Lena met near Oxford Circus, Lena showed Vlad the classic English pub, but after a couple of beer Lena said that the pub was very noisy and maybe they should go to a small and quiet restaurant with home cuisine on Regent Street. Vlad was so fascinated by Lena's beauty and interested in beautiful stories about Lena's successful life that he was willing to follow her almost anywhere.
The restaurant was a five-minute walk from the pub, the situation of the restaurant silent warned Влада, but he was confident in himself - he got 500 pounds, his weekly salary and in his wallet was a card with another 300 pounds for the case, a lot of money Vlad did not accumulate, because every month paid for the house of grandparents in Riga, which is 300 pounds, and helped his younger brother to finish the medical academy.
Lena refused the menu, saying that she knows what to eat and what wine is perfectly combined with seafood.
All night Vlad happiness, Lena was the girl of his dreams, smart, modest, and also a leading designer in one of London's best creative agencies.
After a very delicious dessert, when Vlad had almost touched Lena’s fingers, they brought the bill.
The bill was terrible: £800 and plus 10% service, Vlad only had enough to pay the bill without service.

Vlad was not confused, ordered another coffee and called us, told us that he was with Lena and I needed 80 pounds, my comrade and I were not far away, and we did not refuse to help a friend.

We met Vlad at the restaurant of one, he told me that Lena was very coldly saying goodbye to him, telling something strange about his girlfriend, and evaporated.
Vlad persuaded us that something important had happened to Lena and she could not stay, and about the account Vlad said that maybe Lena just wanted to visit a chic restaurant.
A week later, Vlad called and wrote to Lena, but Lena even stopped responding to classmates. Vlad blamed himself for everything, and didn't want to believe that Lena just took advantage of them.
Our insidious plan matured very quickly after 2 o'clock of cognac, Denis, our comrade, he is very shy, engaged in the real estate, rides on a expensive Mercedes, and by profile in classmates, so generally without a minute millionaire, agreed to play the main role.
Denis met Lena in classmates and without long conversations invited her to the chic restaurant Dorchester. Lena agreed the same night. Dan met Lena in the hallway, Lena was enchanting, she endowed Dan, probably the sweetest smile you can earn from a little-known girl. Day was distracted all the time and came out of the table, answering important phone calls, and eventually everything was ordered by Lena. Seafood, unflavored old wine, moldy cheese, which only Lena did not order.
Before the dessert, Dan, as usual, went out to call, but this time he did not come back. Lena began to call his number, but the number was unavailable, Lena went to classmates, but Dana was not there. Even more fun, Lena ordered coffee and water, but after a couple of hours Dan never announced. It was time to pay, Lena tried to beat, but the persistent waitress, very politely smiling, asked to pay the bill, referring to the fact that the restaurant is closing and only Lenin’s account prevents to end the working day, Lena argued, saying that another couple was sitting in the corner. The waitress, without ceasing to smile, insisted on paying the bill, bypassing informing that the couple at the remote table had already calculated. Lene had to pay £880.
Lena scandalized, shouted, quarreled with the manager, threatened, but eventually admitted that she only had 10 pounds and a subway card and she had to hurry to get home to Heathrow until the subway closed.
The ruler changed his anger for mercy, and agreed to allow Lena to bring some money tomorrow if she washed the floor everywhere, including the toilets. Without any problems, Lena agreed.
This would be the end of the story, if not one interesting moment, that when Lena began to wash the floors at the toilets, in a chic suit of the three (taken from Den) to the toilets approached Vlad, in the company of his Lithuanian neighbor who looked a million.
No further description, Vlad very sweetly greeted Lena, introducing her to Sigut...

by PS. For truth lovers, both the waitress and the manager of the restaurant are good acquaintances of Dana, who did not give up a little entertainment.

A month ago, a stranger called me on my mobile phone and asked me to transfer 500 UAH to his number, which mistakenly filled up my account. I checked my account – indeed, the extra $500 on the account. I transferred it to his number. As a joke told acquaintances. They laughed and called me a fool.
A week ago, a stranger called me. He appointed a meeting...
I have been working as a commercial director of a large holding company for a week.
Families are asked to work.
I think...

-" No, I would not want to. I am tired of sex without commitment. I was out"
O Lord!... Why exactly me!! to

Do not be angry with me, I am angry.
My sister, you are not so special.

Wow, no matter how I come here in the morning, you sit here.
Not to see you in the day.
Q: Are you a brightly pronounced sova or a brightly pronounced savoron?
WOW: Brightly expressed Siberian
We are at noon now.
Russia is a great country :D
Fuck you, the accuracy :)

In 1974, Sakharov wrote:

In the future, later than in 50 years, I intend to create a World Information System (WIS), which will make available to everyone at any moment the content of any book, ever and anywhere published, the content of any article, obtaining any reference. VIS should include individual miniature request transceivers, control points that control information flows, communication channels including thousands of artificial communications satellites, cable and laser lines. Even a partial implementation of the VIS will have a profound impact on each person’s life, on their leisure, on their intellectual and artistic development. Unlike television, which is the main source of information for many contemporaries, VIS will give everyone maximum freedom in choosing information and require individual activity.

111: Once in the university was conducted such an experiment. On a printed plate with spiral conductors digested, the voltage was supplied and launched into the center of the cockroach. It turns out that these fools run strictly on equipotential surfaces! It is :)

222 I was burned. The multiplier provided more than 1000 volts. There are no "equivocal surfaces" I think we have other cockroaches...

Gay Wedding in France:

One of them is propaganda!!!! to

Have you watched and decided to combine with your lover too?

XXX I am a Buddhist.
Previously I thought it was dumb.

You were just a Buddhist :)

One user of the Internet shares the joy:

“Russia is 5 today.

Congratulations to CH.

Oh yes. Water the sidewalk during the rains, at 9.30, when there is a crowd of pedestrians - which can be more logical.

<himura> and this is my brightest memory of the 90s ))
<himura> together with the Onanists in the entrances
<himura> with one of whom even had to fight
<Lind> for the right to onion in the entrance?

Here is a smart sho-to for the sound sensitivity of the cat hunted? Thus, the phelynologist of the local outflow - hears and recognizes. A more subtle susceptibility to loud sounds, undoubtedly, is there - it helps hunt mice. But that doesn’t mean that the same low enough dog laugh they don’t recognize and don’t always even hear. Any housekeeper, hearing a dog for the first time, will simply not associate this sound with danger. And there are other nails.
In our house, by the way, the cat uses the surnames of our dogs: Milo and Nuša. He will do everything when he is hungry.

Mr. proud > They are all there in the department, creative to the point, if only one adequate found!

Razor: Go to the roof, film the city
WS: Go to
Both puzzles are always better than one :)

Letter to a lawyer:

I am :
Avral ended, the hard wait began – well, even for lunch I had time to run away) I decided not to go to training. Shamefully, but there are patches: a) I broke my nail; b) I didn’t get rid of it; c) I ran over the day so that I didn’t need more sports. What do you think I will win the case with these arguments? ;)

The friend:
What affair? Against the sport?
Sport against Masenko. Everyone stand up! The accused is accused of not wanting to play sports. The accused has the last word.
I broke my nail.
and thanks. The court is removed for sentencing.
...and to impose punishment in the form of obesity of the first degree!