bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №81887
 23.05.2013
Ninja may also go to paintball.
YYY: Will he be with the nunchaks or will the machine be given?
XHH: He says he doesn’t know the machine.
YYY: That is what I was afraid of.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №81886
 23.05.2013
I am in a service car. The road is ground, but good and empty. I noticed that the driver is driving on the opposite lane, on my question why, replied - Here the road is better. Okay well. We go back. Ride again at the meeting. To my question what is wrong again, I hear the answer - Here the road is better.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №81885
 23.05.2013
Fighting mosquitoes in the apartment develops hearing, attention, coordination, agility and paranoia.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №81884
 23.05.2013
When I was 17 years old, I wanted everyone to pay attention to me, call me out, invite me on dates... Now I’m 30 and I have one dream – that everybody should go away from me with their attention, calls and dates (((

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №81883
 23.05.2013
Set up for a job in a business company, immediately put everyone below the plinth (as a special), always in the crossings, the boss advised to buy transport for the successful performance of tasks in different departments (they are all over the city).After some time we see-fly on the "chrust" (Chinese motorcycle) and took the mode to signal over the meters of the table, so that the guards raised the fence in advance and opened the gates (they are large, consistent, through them nothing is visible).The general got everyone, it works well.The boss thought to put the asphalt inside the territory, the glare, etc. The workers pressed a large slide and the thing went, but by the end of the work the slide got closer to the gates and in the morning they planned to finish a small section and so left everything.In the words of the guards-a beautiful summer morning, silence and suddenly as always a wild signal, they open the gate and the "black coat" flies and from the turn yet nothing to see crashes into the huge wheel of the slide, a blow, a crash and a wild scream. It saved what was in the stall and the speed was small when turning.We think it was easy, we went to the whole team to the hospital, the person was like replaced - where everything happened, the chic and other things disappeared, an ordinary guy.The boss then called him for a conversation, forbade him to buy any transport and ordered the bugs to pay all his trips on the transport...

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №81882
 23.05.2013
Chen wanted to eat.
At 4 in the morning?! to
Not after six.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №81881
 23.05.2013
This fighter story:
This storyteller:
I work in VIP tourism. Constantly call the assistants of very cool uncles and aunts to order their boss hotel, transfer, flight. Intelligent people should work in such structures. Dialogue with the personal assistant of one of the Russian millionaires:

The RZZ train Paris-Moscow departs all day except Friday and Sunday.
-"Okay, but can you buy a ticket for August 11?"
- "no and"
- "Why and why"
- "So what is the resurrection?"
- "Okay, so let’s get a ticket for Friday!"
This is very important....
What type of train is going from Paris to Moscow?
2) In Europe, the width of railways is different from ours
What type of millionaire will travel from Paris to Moscow by train?
-------------------------
Train No. 23/24 Moscow - Berlin - Paris
2) at the border the wheels are changed to a narrow track and the train goes on.
Did you not think that if there are trains, then there are passengers? And some of them are not in a hurry, or are they afraid of planes? Among them, there may be rich people.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №81880
 23.05.2013
xxx: Why is there a law on the protection of the feelings of believers and no law on the protection of the feelings of unbelievers?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №81879
 23.05.2013
The excellent property of the Alpine Gold chocolate wrap is to open and close several times. I bought a chocolate in the store, came home and found that someone carefully eaten four pieces of it and politely closed it).

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №81878
 23.05.2013
From the Fire:
Is it true that the iguanas bite their victim and then follow her until she dies?
My cat does that.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №81877
 23.05.2013
You are as lucky as my wife – all the dogs are constantly throwing on her. Even the electronic toy dog from the shop shelf has stumbled.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №81876
 23.05.2013
Like a cat trolling his wife.
This black bastard (cat) learns to open the closet, climbs and runs there. You have to drive him out of there every time. I come back from a night shift and my wife tells me this story:
I go to bed, I turn off the lights, I close my eyes, I hear the door in the closet open. Without turning on the light, I put my hand there and start looking for a cat. Sharrila, rolled there for five minutes, and the animal is not caught. She gave up, turned on the lights, and the cat was sitting on the table, looking at me, and as if it was roaring.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №81875
 23.05.2013
All two-year-olds like children, listen to fairy tales and die cartoons. And my listening to Nightwish and looking at Formula 1... although I immediately understand that my :)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №81874
 23.05.2013
Pornography is just sex advertising. Some even pay to watch it.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №81873
 23.05.2013
The xxx:
A day sends oil, gas for $ billion. for the buffalo.
Where money, roads, medicine and so on. And the PR?

YYYY :
With the bug!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №81872
 23.05.2013
The forum. Subject: Wire to columns - where to take?

xxx: The issue is not for audiofiles, it is a simple center, so gold cables, wire heating devices, etc. not to offer.

YYY: Do not listen to these misfortunes and misery, only hardcore, only a core of absolute copper in a golden cloth that the virgin fled in her hand in the full moon!!! to
Otherwise it won’t sound!

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №81871
 22.05.2013
The offended and insulted d'Artagnan

@almaximal: You know, I dream that someday there will be a beautiful time when #girls, if they have another, will say that they “have another” rather than what they “must think.”
It is a pity that this time will never come.

You know, and I dream that someday there will be a time when guys, if they just want sex, will say they just want sex, rather than confess in love at first sight and promise everything in the world. (Type of sarcasm)
Oh, yeah, I also dream that people will start to look the truth in the eye and not rush with dumb phrases like "all girls", "all guys". If you hit a bad person, do not get angry and water the whole opposite sex with dirt.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №81870
 22.05.2013
One chren (a Canadian citizen and a professional translator) under the age of a half-year-old recently led my girlfriend. Well, I tortured her for a month and forgave her - you will not command the heart.

A friend calls me and asks me to ask my ex-girlfriend to ask this shit to translate a couple of pages of text into English for a presentation.

I asked. She agreed. Asked the fucking.

Hren - made hysteria and said that it doesn't work for free.

What my friend told me:

This is a goat! And the girl has taken you and does not want to translate us!

I’m sitting here and thinking – but it’s really a goat. No shame or conscience.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №81869
 22.05.2013
Gina S. I have two questions for you.
Genetics is: 1. Where to buy pink flamingos?
2nd When will I stop spending money on all the mess?

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №81868
 22.05.2013
Discussion of the law on three years for insulting the feelings of believers:
xxx: Can Satanists now not take away the sacrificial virgins?
Publicly – not publicly.

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