X: What are you busy with?
u: I try from Sberbank's site to throw a penny on the phone, at the same time with these SMSs, everything went away
x: I wanted to ask throw me down questions to the seminar, I do want to give in advance
X is Olya?! to
Where are you, chicken?
A: It is nearby! by Masha! by Masha! I need to leave the country urgently! IMMEDIATELY!AHUETH, I sent smoke mms with my breasts, the first open mms and fucking sensor in strike the choice of suck address fell to the choice of all!!! Fuck all of them!! The MMS went to all the addresses from the phone book and depended on cancellation. I just left 200 rubles, they ended up on my mother, but this does not please me, just like before my mother Maxim Suga Sergeevich!!! to
X: Olya, you are, Maxim Sergeevich, a practitioner at the tower?
Y : Yes!
Q: Where did you get his number?
Q: Is that all that fascinates you?
Well, as you are 13 you will go on his pair)))

If you save on the shepherds, you will lose the herd.

For my generation - born in the 50s, the war was already history, but its traces were visible and tangible...Then the words "before the war", "to the war" were also commonplace, as now "yesterday" or "after yesterday"..The debris of the anti-aircraft calculation in the vicinity was not yet flooded, many went to work in shinels instead of a coat and on the market a lot of legless, on carriages with bearings instead of wheels, sold homemade cardboxes and slides on sticks..And in the city bath to walk was scary - every second without hands, legs and in terrible scars. But it was usual – such were my father, my grandfather, and my uncle Petya’s neighbor. However, no, it was impossible to get used to something, Uncle Petya was not just scary, but terrible...People looked at his face from the left, scratching and taking their eyes away. It was almost a naked skull with teeth, unclear what the eye holds on and covered with scars of something that resembled meat scratches...When drunken uncle Petya, returning at night from work, tried to rob in our deaf streets, the hanuriki dedicated him to the face with a lamp- and fled from fear, taking for a whimper...But this is a fairy tale.
And we, of course, were wearing on the streets playing a "warrior". Many had real pilots with stars, German trophies, field bags, belts and even something more serious. Once, the district seized the head of the boys carrying on the street, and the runner in front held in his hands a real "Luger" (he was also a "parabellum") and spoke the classic "Pu! and PU! Fall down or we won’t play!!” The boy was immediately caught by the ear, and the luger was sent to the pocket of the police caliphs. The district knew everyone in the district and the boy was immediately transported to his father's uncle Pete.When he saw in the hands of the district luger, the uncle Petya quietly drove into the chamber and got out of under a bunch of orders a roasted and lost paper. She stated that "this cold weapon No.... is a reward and left to the owner for eternal storage for the destruction of three Hitlerites in a hand-past. Seal and signature of the commander of the unit.
Is it cold?I opened the eye of the area. Vish, cha, Fedorich, his trunk is bended, you can’t smash, says Uncle Petya. True, in the beginning he was very even gunfire - it made my cheek off. The thing went out - I fell in the attack on the Germans in the tranche, and here the entrance to the blender, and from it an officer with this pistol comes out. I wanted to smash him from the PPS - and the ammunition! I grabbed the gun of the German by the trunk and wanted to take it to the side, and the wretch at this moment and shot - I was burned like a fire... I sounded out of pain, pulled out the gun from the German and gave the German in the forehead with anger, until the splashes flew. And here the second climbs - I also picked him up, and there was another idiot... I woke up in the medsambat. The nurse said the gun could not be pulled out of his hand.
The districtman put a gun on the table, he wanted to go, but still asked, "Why did you not shoot from it, but beat?"
Uncle Petya whispered - the general also asked me when he handed the medal... Well, I will not tell him - because he knows him?! God so pleased...All then subordinated – it was not a shit to give him ammunition, he only owns as an oak weapon.
The district man looked at the idle figure of Uncle Petty, the curved trunk and suddenly embraced Uncle Petty, gave honor and went to the exit. There was also a red star on his whale.

Thank you for calling the Direct Line with Vladimir Putin. Your call is very important to us. If your question is about Navalny, press the grid.
If you are talking about Serdyukov, press the star.
If you want to raise pensions, press zero.
If you are illegal, press Adin.
If you are about gay parade - press 314 at a time. Piped...
Unfortunately, all of Putin is now busy. Please stay on the line and you will be answered by the liberated Putin.

From the sales manager's conversation with the customer:

I will not consider your proposal.
Why is?
I don’t look at emails.
But why?
Is there spam there?? to

Today a murdered but tuned penny passed by with the inscription on the glass: "With me even burned atheists become believers."

in the days. Cat is sitting under the door, oret - asks out on the street. Spring is fucking. I let go, I follow him (the door below on a tight spring, the beast has no strength to open). I let go, I see what he will do next (the cat can't tolerate wet his legs, and before entering such a sluggish lounge - he's on his stomach somewhere). This infection approaches, smells of water... and, drawing its tail, walked over the water. What’s more, he turned around in the middle of the pit, looked at me and whispered: “What do you look at?”" While I was picking up the jaw, he had already overcome the water obstacle in the fold. I say, "Oh, you shit, try to scratch me once again at the next bath!"" So he, sick as he heard about the bathing, scratched with such a speed that you can catch the fucking!!! to

We sit and discuss with our partner the cause of the sudden shutdown of the server.
I: Because the server had to be rewarded with an interruptor
Partner: Posthumously

Something in this world is like that. When I was a kid, my parents taught me to give a hand to a girl who was following me out of the bus. I remembered it all my life. And polite, and generally nice to the girl. Must be. But this is the first time modern ladies have a hand and look at me with eyes full of fear. I go to work as if I’m overwhelmed.

[16:16:13] xxx: reference
[16:16:29] yyy: Fuck it!! to
[16:16:42] yyy: We must warn that there is a treasure.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
YYYYY: I am not alone here.
[16:17:43] yyy: let me get a program that will post the whole monitor and give the inscription: you went to the site Loli.com, dirty you are sheep.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
*** xxx sent by Graph.exe ***
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[16:20:01] yyy: fucking
[16:20:06] yyy is sarcastic. It was sarcasm!! to

Status in VK: "What heated you will burn you at some point."
This should be written in the instructions for heaters, after the words "Do not leave included without supervision!"

About the Wicked:
XX: about the chest of Circei, what is the fruit of the love of polka and the vacuum cleaner?
YYY: is called an extinct species)))
YYY: Interesting why the extinct OO
XXX: I, in principle, guess why the extinct. Go out in the morning to smoke. There is a mouse sitting and a member on her mouth. The shoes, that is how they die.

To learn about "what would" and "to":

The eternal question of women - what else to eat to lose weight?

Coming home after a 50-kilometer evening cycling, I am already asleep, as suddenly someone knocks on me, says that I was advised to him as a web developer, which he desperately needs. Not wanting to change anything in my career, I politely explained to him that his offer did not interest me, even with higher rates. Finally, I remembered a friend who was looking for such a job. He advised that acquaintance to his new interlocutor, to which he sadly replied: "Look, you are all refusing, and you are advising anyone, you are already the fifth in a row who continues this chain :("

8 May. came to the office. by 11.20 The first NAH.

An educational moment in our family.

If I have a son, I will call him Ichigo. Or the Itachi.
Mother is everything. Go into your room, listen to Alice and think about your behavior.

Only children are stupid. Adults have hernias.

XXX: I found a girlfriend. It seems to be good for everyone: smart, fun, cute, but I still think that it can be done even cooler, to improve something.
yyy: Guns on her shoulders and an energy shield, it will be done.

Life is shit, but we and the scapegoat.
The new Galaxy Note?

If a teleport is ever invented, it will definitely be done by women who need to take a child out of the kindergarten in time.

from ZH