bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №80267
 16.04.2013
I saw a beekeeping advertisement in the box. "I am going out. I am going out" Do they have permanent disconnections there?

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №80266
 15.04.2013
He was heavy this morning.
I approach the door of the apartment, there are two aunts around it. I ask: "Do you want something?"
They give me a booklet that says "Life can make sense". They open, on the first page something about Jesus. I say: "Thank you, my life has a meaning".
One of them is "A-a, sorry".

What a fucking? O_0

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80265
 15.04.2013
How the husband jumped out - I don't remember how shaking the daughter with the question "what uncle
Cole?" - I remember vaguely, but as he gave me in the eye - I remember very well and not
I will never forget. For nothing, for nothing. I even have acquaintances.
was not. It is offensive.

In short, fuck your husband.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №80264
 15.04.2013
I went to the cinema with a friend today, went to the shops, all the business. Lent to the nearest tram stop, where our tram stops, called a taxi. We stand and wait. The driver called (the girl turned out to be), said it will be soon, on a golden chevrolet. Well what. Waiting for more. Half an hour has passed, we have finished, we call this girl, we ask what it is like she said that it will be soon. At the other end of the tube there was a tense silence, and soon she heard her whispering voice:
Didn’t I pick you up now? 0 O
I had to go to the tram...

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №80263
 15.04.2013
xxxxxxxxxxx:
Okay
Name as you want.

WOW :
Just at all?
Then I am Commander Darth Gandalf, a witch, and, in conjunction, a ruler in exile.

xxxxxxxxxxx:
too long

WOW :
It can be simple master.

xxxxxxxxxxx:


WOW :
You can swallow.
The monarch is none.

xxxxxxxxxxx:
Humility from all sides

WOW :
I have no cracks, I am insulated.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №80262
 15.04.2013
Going for a new job. Here the lock is deployed without wires, by wifi. Driven of course. I decided to find the password to connect the phone and tablet.
This is not difficult to do in Windsor. In the right place, I press "Show password", and the points become the word "topsecret". In the first moments I thought something like: "Nifiga yourself, wind, it turns out, allows you to hide the password from strange eyes".
In a few seconds it comes to me. :)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №80261
 15.04.2013
Truly, I tell you, anyone who invented a system in which a car would shake off like a dog before entering the garage would destroy his name for centuries!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №80260
 15.04.2013
After a strange announcement in the newspaper, a student Lucy finds a mysterious job in a private closed club. At night, Lucy is locked in the Bedroom of the Sleeping Beauty, where she sleeps under the influence of a strong drug, while male clients do with her what they would like. Every day Lucy wants to find out more and more about what is happening to her during the hours she can’t remember.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №80259
 15.04.2013
What can not be washed while washing a bicycle?
YYY : the mantle.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №80258
 15.04.2013
I read somewhere that Omsk is deciphered as the Remote Reference Place of the Custodians.
Is it true or just a joke?
Written by loxankin
Loxankin: originally the city was called Volt-on-Ampersk, by the name of the now-dried Amperka river. In the future, for convenience, the city was renamed Omsk, according to all the rules of physics for the 6th class.
Written by acinonyx

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №80257
 15.04.2013
On the 4PDA, discuss the most expensive phone in the world!

The device is made of 24-carat gold, instead of the Home button is used the most genuine black diamond and another 600 "ordinary" diamonds are located throughout the body, 53 of which make up the Apple logo.
A customer from China already owned the black diamond, so he did not have to pay the full cost of all the materials used and the iPhone 5 cost him quite cheap - only $ 15 million.

The top comment:

by Lou1x
My lips will shake such a phone... ask. If you know what I mean =D

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80256
 15.04.2013
Yesterday I bought a white yogurt. Composition: milk, water and strawberries.
They are strange counterfeiters.
ууу: In Belarus stealing your Mercedes leaves Lada for replacement )))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №80255
 15.04.2013
From the hub, discussing adding the ability to view YouTube as on a video magnetophone

neMAGnit: I remember when the parents were not at home, you get a cassette with porn from their head, and then you forget to wrap it in the beginning...

Biolante: It can only be worse if the cassette gets stuck.

Imater: It may be worse if you record porn on the cassette of the parents with their wedding. It happened too.

[ + 10 - ] Comment quote №80254
 15.04.2013
From the comments:
A woman is no longer a man.
already?:D

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №80253
 15.04.2013
I: Observed cycles in fire extinguishing
There are 2 garbage in the yard. and 2 containers. I went out to smoke, I see, from one smoke figured, called 01, came in 7 minutes) while two "blowed down", throwing the snow inside, two others smoked in the side. The work is done, the fire is extinguished, the two who smoked dropped the cigarettes in the second container and all were fun) after 15 minutes called again)))

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №80252
 15.04.2013
Advertising by Ford:

...the baggage compartment opened with a single leg movement, under the code name ''spoolpinka''...

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №80251
 15.04.2013
Comments to a picture where a girl meets a guy, but is horribly angry at him when she learns that he already has a girlfriend.
XXX - Where it is seen that the grandmothers themselves can scatter.
Is there a girl on the internet? Where are you working? Is there a car? Usually I write that I am unemployed and I live with my parents :D And I don’t lie :(

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №80250
 15.04.2013
Are you not worried about excess weight?
222: He is not in my possession, he is in my possession

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №80249
 15.04.2013
With Lepra:
- 90% of fantasy and horror would end in the words: "... strictly following the instructions..."
Yes, and not fantasy.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №80248
 15.04.2013
Vad: I feel a complete idiot when I know that I have to make a huge report on the practice in the bank, prepare for all sorts of tests and goats, reading about the crab-like nebula and the constellation of the fox.

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