When I first looked at the matrix at the age of 9, it made a big impression on me.

Everyone in school asked each other what kind of pills would you choose? And of course everyone said red, it's so cool shooting, fighting.

At the age of 15, after reviewing it, I thought to the hell this boring and boring life I was against the system, exactly red!

Now I am 25 and recently I revised the matrix again, and even without thinking I realized that well in the ass all this, of course blue, I want to eat deliciously watching the series with my wife and to hide with friends, and not that’s all that’s in the movie. Let me lie in the water with a hole in my neck.

The next day he asked this question to a colleague, he was 32 years old.

He said that he would not even go to the morphine, he needs to take the child from the kindergarten, pay the mortgage and in general in a week he has a vacation.

Question: 40 years old, how are you doing this?

My friend works in a small provincial town as an ambulance doctor. They have this practice: if the patient requires a complex, but not very urgent operation, he is taken by car to Moscow, to go at 7 a.m., so it is quite acceptable. Naturally, it is an ambulance and naturally, doctors accompany it. They usually go to the capital fast and without stops, and back already relaxed.

One day a brigade of doctors returned from Moscow; the patient was taken away, in Moscow they stayed for a couple of hours - and back. They have been there for a long time and everybody wants to eat. They stopped at the street grocery store, the driver and the police officer closed the car, and my friend went to order something. It was empty in the tavern, but when the service staff, consisting exclusively of representatives of the southern republics, saw a doctor coming to them, in the form very strongly resembling the form of the staff of the sanepidemnadzor, there was no one left. Turning the chairs and jumping out of the windows, the cashier, the cook, the cleaner and the rest rushed away.

After a little thought, the brigade decided not to eat here, but to look for something with more confident staff.

I ordered at the Ural factory an electroplate, sent a package with a charged payment. I came to pick up after work - and here is the day of issuance of pensions... There are no electronic tickets and 1 window is working. Pensioners receive pensions, without counting over, put them in their wallets and leave. It is my turn - there are 1415 rubles. (cost of the package + transfer) I give 1500. The price is 85 rubles. 1 to 2 rubles. I think - the turn bucht - type you that do not trust the Russian Post??? I recounted, I calmly say - 8 rubles are missing. I silently poured 8 coins for 1 ruble. I take the package, I go under the grave silence of pensioners (I think they have shaken their trust in the Russian Post).

The two meanings of “a man who was betrayed” and “a faithful man”

Listen, it went well. – Our director said, looking at the printing of the presentation I wrote. - Laconic, all in essence, without any mute. Written by myself?

by Sam. I stumbled.

I did not expect, to be honest. My boss shrugged my head. Where did you learn so much to express your thoughts?

I answered something distracted and uncertain and went back to my desk. And I wondered myself – but really, where did I get such a longing for shortness?



And then I remembered how my dad and I went on a telephone conversation with my grandmother, who lived in Kazakhstan and was going to visit us for the New Year. I was 8 years old. My dad and I took six trolleybus stops, walked a mile and sat on a bench at the post office for half an hour. Then, standing with him in a tight telephone cabin, I listened to a long dialogue about air tickets, the country’s economy and the health of our numerous relatives.



Finally, when the paid minutes were over, Dad gave me a phone call to say hello to my grandmother. I told her how I was doing at school. And finally I heard from her the question for which I generally agreed to this journey:

Grandchildren, what do you bring as a gift?



Turn around. Half a minute of strength remains. I have no money with me. My father whispered loudly in my ear.

And then I realized that in thirty seconds I would have to explain somehow to my 60-year-old grandmother what a dendy cartridge with the game “Battletoads and Double Dragon” is.



In general, I have a shame on words from wherever I come from and everything else. From childhood.

I live on the fifth floor and periodically bombarded by the fact that you have to turn on the lighting in the entrance. My neighbor shuts him off on the staircase. It motivates savings.

I decided to put a screw to turn on the light. I sit down, eat and cry out at the entrance. I go out and see my neighbor in the dark. He fell, poor man, and broke his hand... Saved.

I sit with my kids in the kitchen. They have dinner, I have eaten and I have a beer.

The phone call. A friend of my wife asks me to call my faithful friend. I answer that, say, she left to visit her mother, and did not take a return ticket, so we do not know when she will come back. The young man interrupts me:

I’ll be back tomorrow, Doc.

How do you know?

I called yesterday.

Why did you not tell me?

I did not want to upset you.

Instructions to CEOs: "Fast and cheap is very expensive"

Crisis of Middle Age

He first jumped a parachute at the age of 39.
Something then in a friendly company suddenly turned out that most of the interlocutors in their youth were engaged in the parachute section, who did one, and who - three jumps. I thought, “I dreamed of jumping with a parachute when I was a child. If not now, then when?”
I learned that there is an airport in the Egoryevsky district, which organizes jumps for those who want to do so on weekends. I came to this costume. This pleasure was worth four hundred rubles then.
I thought once and enough. But it did not happen. He was very scared this first time.
Here I am sitting in the plane on a hard metal bench. Under the feet is a reliable floor. You just have to go out nowhere.
Luke is open. And I see there far below the earth, lines of roads, machines - like ants, the forest - like grass, and people can not be seen at all.
And you have to get out of such a beautiful reliable plane just to this very nowhere.
The knees did not tremble. The fear was in the area of the stomach. It is unimaginable! Never previously tried. When he refused to fill his grandfather’s bed in the army, he was less afraid. In fact, it was far more dangerous to health.
And now, I look into that open lookout, and I know that I will refuse to jump now. No one will push me out.
Go back to the airport in the plane.
There are such cases.
Nothing special.
Money will not be returned to me. We were warned about it. Fuck them!
And here I am in this airplane almost decided that I will not jump, but remain sitting on this beautiful bench, grabbed in it with the fingers whitened from tension, and wonderfully so I will sit until the very landing, when the airplane, jumping on the cushions, will ride on the ground runway, and will turn, and the pilots will go out of the cabin to the salon, open my lounge, kick off the railway, miss forward, and the technician will give me a hand, and I will not accept this help, but I will jump out, crossing the railway, on such a wonderful ground, and I will be indifferent - what the pilots, instructors, parachutists say and think about me, because I will sit in the car and be comfortable, and no one will be able to get me here again
Except for myself.
Because I know that there, on the ground, I will swear to myself that I have not jumped. I will look into the sky, which was so close, and I did not take this opportunity to step into this sky.
I will come here again. But next time it will be harder to overcome the fear. Because the road back in the plane I will now wipe out.
That’s how I thought, fascinated looking into the open lounge, and waiting for the team of the issuer.
And in the first round he threw out a truck with a parachute to see where he would take it.
On the second – released a “shooting” parachutist, who is also a “primo”, but has already made several jumps.
I was trembling of fear all that time.
And only then he commanded, “First five to prepare!”
We stood up.
I went second.
He blinked his eyes to the back of the first, so that he could see nothing more, and fell right behind him.
But the instructor, holding his hand in my chest, held me.
He looked out first, his parachute opened, and only then said to me:
I went!
I ticked my hand toward the open hole behind which there was nothing, and asked:
There there?
He laughed and sneered.
In fact, we were instructed half a day before.
The first men came in and came in. There was no rise. Waiting for the wind to cease.
And from time to time the one, the other instructor gathered all, and told, what and how.
How to go out.
You need to press your hands to the chest, take a step, and compress your legs together.
How to open a parachute.
The dome should be flat and round.
And what to do if his stroke crosses.
In which cases to open a reserve.
How to open it.
How to control the situation during the descent. Not to collide with another parachutist.
How to run a parachute.
How to land.
How to collect a parachute.
They were repeated. But we all listened carefully.

One guy, I remember, asked the female instructor:
What if you forget something?
She shrugged her hand:
There is enough time. You will remember!
Would something suddenly happen?! to
She reassured me:
Nothing ever happens...

And now, in the plane, I asked:
There there?! to
The publisher laughed and sneered.
Breaking his mouth in a silent cry, melting his legs and hands, he fell out of the boat. The flow of air turned so that before my eyes incredibly quickly flashed the field of the airfield, the sky, the forest, the flying plane, again the forest and again the sky.
If I pressed my hands to my chest at the exit and pressed my legs together, I would fall exactly like a drop. And I was scattered. Here is the turn.
I was able to think, “Yoooo... How can I manage something...”
And then I felt the cotton of the opened parachute, and almost immediately the slopes of the suspension system crashed into the perineum.
It was not very comfortable. But it was a support. It was no longer scary.
The engine of the aircraft was removed.
The space that opened up to me was deaf.
I remembered the word “eye” in one of the books. That is, what goes into the eye. What you can look at. This eye was incredibly spacious. The sky was near and around me, and a little lower. It seemed even noticeable that the earth was round.
I turned my head to see more and remember everything.
Because I wasn’t going to climb a parachute into the plane again and feel my stomach shrinking from terrible fear.
I wanted to sing, or just scream. It is normal. Many are so.
Meanwhile, the earth was approaching.
Here I realized that I have long since been downstairs in the megaphone:
The second in the first five. The right side!
I was the second in the top five. And it was I had to pull the right control bean to unfold facing the wind for a softer landing.
In general, it is preferable that the primers always immediately turn face to face with the wind, so that they are less carried away. I may tell you about it later. And as he once wandered and did not listen to commands from the ground.
Now I pulled my right, turned to the wind.
The instructor cried again:
The second in the first five. feet to land.
It is I have to move my legs together, and slightly bend them in my knees.
I followed the team, and I looked down.
The earth is getting closer and faster! And even faster! and more!!
I only had time to think:
and fucking! She is fucking on my feet now!
And she really, she was fucking on her feet! (Hmm... do not replace “fuck” with “shoot” and “fuck” need to come up with what to replace to be as short and emotional)
I fell down. The dome didn’t have to be extinguished – it fell down by itself.
And here I lie on my back, spreading my arms and legs.
I am so good!
So well...
I thought they were looking at me from the plane. They watch before landing and after landing. And my current posture, when I lie down with my legs and hands spread out, means I need help. I jumped up and smoothed the plane with my hand. It should have been done immediately.
Then he assembled the parachute with a "cock", as taught in the instruction, and went to hand it over.
And I remembered here!
I remembered that I went out wrong. I turned around because of that.
After opening the parachute, he did not examine the dome.
That, descending under the dome, did not look - where are the other parachutists, and if there is a dangerous approach to them.
What I didn’t look down, I didn’t go down to another dome. (Al it was in the top five, but I should have seen it anyway.)
At first, I did not hear the command from the ground.
Everything was wrong, and it had to be changed.
In the next two months, he made 14 jumps. Somewhere on the sixth I noticed that there was no fear anymore, and the only thought was to do everything right – and out, and down, and landing. Then, he abandoned this case, but ten years later carried his son there and jumped with him for the company.
Go out on the stream and I can now.

As taxes to pay, it is from anywhere in the country, and as a place to get in the kindergarten, it is by register.

3 months ago she moved to Russia after 13 years of life in Seattle and its surroundings. In Russia she studied, but never worked, and in America she studied in the universe, and worked in corporations. What I remember about how Americans learn:



1st There is a very short distance between teachers and students. This means that the teacher can be called simply by name, and you can also ask the stupidest questions and he will answer you. You can eat "Doshirak" (in America the brand "Cup Noodle") right behind the barrel or put your feet on the barrel. The teachers are not insulted.

2nd The textbooks are super-interesting, with pictures and lots of colorful schemes. In the textbooks there is little water and the maximum of useful information and all in simple words. Everything is essentially chewed to the smallest details and gradually written. For me, as a foreigner, it was very complicated.

Three It can be deducted for writing.

4 is Works and all "courses" when checked by teachers are passed through a special program that seeks plagiarism. I got in one day.) But I was “green” then and I didn’t know about it. I was very embarrassed and I didn’t do it anymore.

5 is What is interesting, when you distribute proven works, they are placed on the front side down, so that others do not see what you have been placed. The type of thing you have to choose whether to disclose your assessment or not.

6 is Some teachers on especially difficult subjects evaluate work on the so-called. “The curve.” This is when the best work (even with mistakes) is taken for 100%, and the rest depends on how far they have gone from the best.

I work in a taxi. The order falls, the destination address "by city", submitting the location by navigator. I walked, the girl sat down, said no need to go anywhere, need to charge the phone, 15 minutes sat down, talked, charged the phone, looked at %charge, said "good enough", gave 500 tenge and stunned...

Everything men mean by the word gifts, then for women is a trophy and a tribute.

As a wise man once said, “Education is what remains when everything we’ve been taught has been forgotten.”
Strangely enough, the

We have a lot of airports not yet renamed, but let’s go further.
In the state Duma there are many respected people, and in Russia there is a huge number of nameless public classes.

I worked in a nightclub DJ. One day a new waitress, Max, came to us. Well, Max is like Max, an ordinary eighteen-year-old. I met this Max to go a friend, the same young guy, as I seemed at all 16-17, I was surprised how the guard at all let him go, well, really on a small someone looks like. This friend was constantly sitting at the bar, drinking cocktails, chatting with the bartenders. One day, having drunk a lot of this "root" Max began to dive before me, order some songs, well really hindered working. Once again, not able to withstand the greed of this individual, I tried to explain as correctly as possible, that "another time and a fork in the eye or...". I say:

– Brother, you’re really about me #ball, you’ll come back again...

He interrupted me in half a word and with an offended face spoke:

I’m not your brother, I’m a girl.

“Okay, sorry, no hurt,” I say, a little oh#ev.

But the girl seems to be really offended, and I’m immersed in deep reflections about the wickedness of this sinful world and the ability of lesbian girls to disguise themselves as boys.

Well, a few days later it turned out that Max was not Max at all, but Nastya.

I took the machine to 100 in the morning to replace the oil. Until then, I bought a coffee machine and went out to smoke.

(For reference, I was dressed in time-blowing but favorite sleeves and sports trousers.) Here to the gate enters a black, dumb-toned cruise, stops near me, drops the glass and in a rather rough form turns to me, then I am a M-man in a cruise.

M, you need to pump the wheel.

I - You don't earn so much that I could pump your wheels.

My name, my name, I don’t work anymore.

I am “My name”

M - in half an hour to the accounting office, you are counted and more you are seen here.

I am OK!

Here I turn my head, and to the right, at ten meters, a worker of the CTO was standing, who barely heard a whisper - "has done it!"

That is how I was enrolled in the team of blinds at the STO in the morning and was fired within half an hour.

Then he picked up the car, calculated and left.

Everyone has times when they are ashamed of their actions or words.

So, I had one of those moments when I had a guy with no right hand, asked:

Are you also leftist?

However, a beautiful word can dramatically affect a person’s choice.

When I just started selling fabrics, I encountered the confusion of customers,how can you use such a not noble material.They just refused.For a week no closed deal.I was decided to act,no more fabrics,only BROWN SPON.And the situation changed drastically in the other direction.Refusal minimum. raised the price by 15 percent.



P.S. Fanera is made of berry (maybe who did not know)

We were six years old. They went to the same kindergarten, lived in neighboring entrances, ran to each other in guests, played together in the yard. One day she turned to me, looked closely with her blue eyes and said, “karafuzzi, I love you!“”



I didn’t know what to answer, so I said, “Well, stupid!” She smiled, took my hand and we ran to play.