He joined one large company. Mr. asked the general questions that I answered in a template. I already had a decent work experience and I thought I would be happy to be accepted. Hr gave me to fill out some test, and I took my passport on the internet.

I passed the completed test.

by mr. I checked your profile. I know you are very interested in fishing.

I. Yes

by mr. Unfortunately you do not fit us.

A. What is the reason?

by mr. Well, since you are a fan of fishing, you have agreed to work on weekends and holidays. And most likely you are abusing alcohol. We need people who work in the first place.



He took his papers and quietly went fishing.

xxx: I last winter on vacation made a hectic healthy snowman on the outskirts of a private house, and left (I live and work in another city). So a neighbor hit him in a car, broke up and also hit my mother (!A snowman stands there, he damaged a poor bumper because of him. I smelled great.

YYY: Do you understand that it is in the winter you need to make a snowboard reinforced by armor?

I live in Norway and I have my own business. But I earn away from what I do every day.

So in order. In Norway, by law, all foreigners are provided with a free interpreter for any official contacts with the state. and organs. Not everyone knows about it, but they learn more and more and so the demand for translators is growing.

In my case, it is Lithuanian and Norwegian. In general, I was contacted here via Facebook from one translation agency, on the subject of my desire to translate sometimes. As if I had never been a translator and I had no experience or knowledge, and Lithuanian I started to forget, and Norwegian is far from ideal. But they said that the shit question - I'll do it. I say OK. If you think I can do it, let’s try. I work mostly at night and have a lot of time during the day. It will not hinder overall development.

In general, a couple of weeks ago, I was appointed for today for a translation at the hospital, the neurology department. I was very nervous, reading all kinds of articles on neurology in every language. And then that day came, I was on the spot, and the patient did not come to the reception. and bingo! and :)

The fee is 630 crowns per hour. Pay for 2 hours. An hour for travel and an hour for translation. A total of 1260 (approximately 10,000 rubles) crowns for the fact that I drove to the hospital and sat there in the Westboulevard. I have never earned so easily. and :)

Do you want to know what true love is? Take a puppy!

Recently there was a story of Someone Leish https://www.anekdot.ru/id/983484. She reminded me of something like that. I immediately warn you, the story is a bit miserable, don’t judge strictly.


“The wedding trip.”

Year 1946, August

"For a long time, the guns were silenced, only the sunlight was above us." My grandfather is old. The 77th Separate Light Transportation Park, which he commanded during the war with Japan, is no longer in existence. Finally, the Sinekura subverted, appointed as the chief of the weapons warehouse of the brigade. Oh, how wonderful, it is much better than leading a squadron to attack, crawling kilometers on the mine fields day and night, making passages, or leading crossings under a square fire. Automates, pistols, explosives, ammunition, machine guns, trophy weapons, inflatable boats, sapphire supplies quietly sleep in the warehouse waiting for their hour, no longer it would attack. Only when teaching, there is trouble, and so - silence and grace.

And there is another surprise, what!
You, Comrade Lieutenant, are on vacation.
On vacation? to me?
Well yes. You are an officer, you can go on vacation. Even a train ticket is free once a year.

It is a miracle of miracles. Called in 1940 as a soldier, there ordinary leave is not given. From the summer of 1941 to the autumn of 1945 there was much to do. Continuous "holidays" and trips to "resorts" with a break to the hospital. The Crimea, the Caucasus, even abroad to Poland, East Prussia, Korea, and China brought. The truth is, everything came out somehow, then float, then march, then run, then run. Not even looking at beauty. And the people on the road did not come up to be very spiritual. Here is a full vacation.

Where to go? There were no two thoughts. Of course, the Union is large in size, occupies a sixth part of the land, but there is no place in it more sweet than the native village in Belarus. This is the same house, where it was only once in six long years, for a couple of hours in 1944, when Gomelskiy was liberated. And the main thing is to see his parents and sisters, whom he saw only once in the same six years for one day and one night.

He is already on the train. Of things only a small suitcase, the poor to dress - only to belt. And that the road from Salzburg to home is not close, so it is not a problem. As the saying goes, for a crazy dog, seven verts is not a hook. Flying like wings on wheels.

Home is joy, father, mother, sisters, the roof, and a small yard that once seemed big. He fell asleep under the haunting noise of the cycades and joyfully woke up from the usual, but forgotten knock of the hammer on the hammer of his father's carpet, which stood in the fence. During the day, I helped my parents, because August is a hot season in the village. In the evenings he went either to a few surviving acquaintances or to a village club, where there were dances under the patéfon.

There he met her, my grandmother, in a sitze dress. She hasn’t been home and hasn’t seen her parents for six years. Institute and work as a surgeon in a military hospital - not before the holidays was. They knew each other before the war, because they studied in parallel classes, but then did not communicate. They had very different families, she was from a wealthy family, the granddaughter of a rabbi, and he was the son of a simple carpenter. Now the times are completely different.

From the meeting to the offer - 3 days, because the vacation is over. A week from the proposal to the wedding. And then, seeing that he was late, I tapped the telegram in part, saying "I will marry, I will be out of vacation a little later." Not according to the rules of course, but "more front will not be sent, less company will not be given."

It was a strange wedding. The bride had no underwear and no fat – her entire wardrobe consisted of three dresses. There was no costume for the bridegroom - only a military kitten with three orders and four medals. There were no engagement rings - there was no gold money, and where to get them, tea is not the city. Do we need this community? There were not even half of relatives on both sides - they had been lying under a hill outside the outskirts of the village for 5 years, where they tried not to go without a reason. There was no majority of friends and girlfriends (From grandfather's class of the 39th year of issue in 1946 from the 21st boy left... three. Contured Are, the handless Yang, and he himself, but whole. There were no fashionable DJs - only a pathefon and a harmonist. There were no delicacies and wedding cake - they were able to get only a couple of strawberries of boiled potatoes, cooked the soup, and extracted a couple of basins of strawberries and 20 liters of muddy sameon, for which the last money went.

What will you live for? My aunt broke. You don’t have a living penny. And we cannot help.
“Don’t say nonsense, mom,” the bridegroom said, “we need to live today, and today we have a holiday.
And tomorrow?
Tomorrow may not be. And he knew what he was talking about, from the height of his 25 years and with the wisdom of an old man. He saw too many boys and girls for whom tomorrow never came.

So what happened at the wedding? And there was genuine joy, love, and the desire to live. Probably it is a lot. However, there was another desire, they both really wanted to go somewhere together, like on a wedding trip. But then there was no money, and he went to service back to the Far East, and she returned to Ukraine to a military hospital, where the last wounded were treated. They decided - she will come to him, and there they will definitely go on holiday together and spend their honeymoon.

About 8 months later, she came to him in Spassk. Grandfather broke out the young family's royal chords in the form of a room in a barracks of 10 square meters. In pleasure, he went to the chief-major and asked for an extraordinary leave. Imagine your dream of honeymoon. But the Major was astonished:
On vacation? Well, you can also consider. Just that. You write me a box of dynamite and an inflatable boat from the warehouse. Dynamite as an exercise, and a boat as an ineffective.
How will I do it? I am responsible. Give me a written order, I’ll give it.
Not officially, but by friendship. You are the store manager, you can write anything.
I will not go into theft.
Do you call me a thief?

Word for word, they fought terribly. In revenge, instead of a vacation, the mayor sent his grandfather to the hauptwacht. And I found the reason - the delay from the vacation, although so much time has passed.
If you don’t think about it until tomorrow, you’ll get seven days.

In the evening my grandmother asked:
I will not go to fake. Should I go on fighting with him? Or maybe at the headquarters? Or just go to the haunt?
You will not help the matter. It is better to sit on the hood. You will rest. I am angry with him on his honeymoon. Then we come together.

The officer is well on the hauptavahta - "if you want to sleep, go to bed, if you want to sing." He fell asleep, mostly playing dominoes and cards with officers. Very glorious rest, although from the planned honeymoon haupтвахта is very different. One sad thing, the vacation is over.

We never had a honeymoon together. Then came the daughter, and then another. Demobilization, work, students, sick, surgery, and again work, with children to the village to grandparents, and again to work. After - grandchildren, wounds, emigration. So for sixty years of life together, the two have not gone on vacation. There was no time, we had to live today.

"For sixty years, we have not been able to go on vacation together. Here are strangers. Everything was postponed for tomorrow. People just didn’t know how to live,” you might say.

You may be right, but I disagree with you. I think they knew, “Tomorrow may not be.”

When different religions call each other’s teachings lies, they consider it normal. But it is worth calling anyone a lie to them all - it immediately becomes an insult.

XHH: In our school, the teacher-economist conceptually resigned.

WOW: How is it?

He was asked to do more mathematics, saying there is a shortage of teachers in schools.

Q: And he asks, and what for replacement only 70% pay?

He says, yes, these are the rules. Enter into position. Either you go with them, or you go with them.

He said that the superiority of demand over supply is not the reason for the price decline.

A young man. Maybe they will start to treat people normally.

On other ladies, the tattoo looks like a stamp on a pig carcass.

An accident, a terrible thing, leaving people in the woods and carrying death. And each year their number is increasing due to increasing migration and the number of vehicles. Many circumstances also make adjustments - the quality of road coverage, weather conditions, etc. But the main thing is still the human factor, the driver's confidence in their skills and usually in such cases the speed meter is beyond a hundred kilometers mark. Of course, an accident can occur at sixty or even thirty, but usually in such cases the car suffers, not the driver and passengers, well, the manufacturer of the car and spare parts. No one cancelled the day.
We were two passengers, people we were unfamiliar, the driver set the price, we agreed. The passenger who was sitting in front came out 15 kilometers earlier. The car touched, rather it started. Renault was quite sharp, and the driver was a fun ballagour loving to press on the pedal. The road was shallow and when entering the next turn the car led. Not very much, but it led.
You hear! The passenger in front said, “Take eighty and no more.”
Okay well!! The driver was upset, all right. I need to do flights, so how much will I take you?! to
“I,” he said, “are eighty and no more,” said the passenger, “I have three children at home, will you feed them?”
Maybe you should have taken the bus! The driver was outrageous again.
Did I agree with you on the price? Did you take the money? - the passenger, cuddled in the pocket of the jacket and got a rather impressive pencil knife, threw off the blade and attached it to the driver's foot.
Oh yeah you are? The situation clearly became nervous.
and NICHE! - the passenger said all the same flegmatistically, - but as soon as the shooter for eighty passes over, I put him in the shed and knock it. One centimeter for every ten kilometers above, will it?
The driver turned out to be very disciplined, the car was running smoothly, without scratches, for seventy kilometers of the road made only two overtakings and then in the absolute absence of the opposite transport. I have not been driving so calmly for a long time. When the car was parked at the destination and the passenger in front left the cabin, the driver guided him with a long look.
Idiot of some sort! - He has a hard breath, - fucking, but at first glance you won't think!
And I thought, so I lighted the lightning of the road bag and said:
and eighty! And no more!
The car touched precisely and without scratches.

When checking documents on the Izmailovsky market, passports were found only in puppies of the English cocker spaniel.

Yesterday I was with my husband in the Leroy Merlin store, for the new year there are selling a lot of artificial trees. And there are tree trees made of prushes and stretched on them by myshura. Just such trees from the shrub - a budget option, so to speak. I tell my husband - when I was a child, we also put such a tree. Her dad himself welded from the armature, or something thinner there, and dad was the welder. The husband laughed, then saw my face and asked, “Are you serious?” I thought you were joking.



I thought it was such a different childhood. I had an armor tree cooked by my dad—and until this year it seemed quite normal to me.

Her wife paints and also makes wax models for jewellery. For this purpose, there is a special and compact wax solder on batteries, carry it with you, in a bag. Today, after work, stands at the stop, waiting for the bus.

A guy approaches and asks:

Sorry, do you not smoke?

and no.

What a good man! The man is standing and waiting for transportation. And my wife thinks, maybe he did not ask for a cigarette, but to smoke, and I just have a solder with me and he burns heavily. I can help a man. He asks him:

Do you want a cigarette or smoke?

Cigarettes are there, the lighter is broken.

So let me let you smoke? I just have a paddle with me.

What other brush? The guy asked surprisingly.

On the batteries! The wife responds boldly and adds, taking the solder: "Look how well it is burning.

The guy smokes a little, asking him:

Why do you wear a soldier with you?

So I am an artist. My wife explains.

The guy goes away in complete misunderstanding and stands quietly at the stop.

I heard the story from a very funny taxi driver about a week ago, the scene is Ekaterinburg. We went with a friend to a bar and talked about life with a driver who, as it turned out, worked as a pilot all his life, but because of a leg injury decided to change the profession and the last three months he is taxing. And then I asked about the most inadequate case in his service. I tell the following: Taxi Driver (T), Passenger (P)



T: I was somehow ordered to the hospital in Berezovsky (a suburb of Yekaterinburg), picked up a man there, who had to get to the center, and he makes a business offer to me.

Q: Listen, I’ll give you a piece of stuff, and you’ll help me, I have a missing aunt here, you’ll help her get out of the hospital and put her on the back, or I’ll not get it alone. On the other side of the hospital, go and get her.

T: Well, the stuff on the road does not roll, I will help the man. I go to another hospital building, raise my eyes, and there is a sign: “Morg.” What kind of aunt is this?

Q: Yes, she died with me, and the catapult is worth 12 thousand, I don’t have that much. Here you have a pity rapid, and she has the biggest suitcase, just fit. I will pay for help.

T: And how do you imagine that we are going to go from the suburbs to the center of Yekaterinburg on Friday evening with the body in the trunk, but it’s a doher now.

Q: No, I will explain everything to them, they will immediately understand, and you will not bother.



In short, the taxi driver refused the offer and went a long way away.

Received from a woman's posture does not relieve from the obligation to stick further.

Jenna and Anjuta live in a country house. The windows of their houses look at an infinite field. They call it the Field of Miracles. Incredible creatures come from there.

One day a sheep came. Where are the sheep in Moscow? But she complained, froze, and asked for food. The owners fed. By some reflection settled to the dogs - about the same caliber. Not to horses, cows, pigs, chickens, ducks, goats, rabbits, barbs, barbs (the whole list of humanity will be missed, these are very good people).

The sheep in the dog herd quickly mastered. She carefully studied her habits, learned to swallow with a light accent, and soon took an active part in the expulsion of all herds to the pasture. As in the pasture itself, she showed herself no worse than dogs.

She lived with them for a few years. But one day an unbelievable thing happened - through the Field of Miracles, a sheep's oats broke. You would know what joy was expressed on her face. “Morda” is not appropriate here. Turning around, she expressed pure human gratitude to the masters and rushed to her own.

If we assume that most Kremlin officials have foreign passports, then in essence the country is governed by a colonial administration.

The story happened to one of my acquaintances, we will call her Masha. In the days of the recent summit in Peter with Masha, a disaster happened - she was attacked by a drug addict right in the center of the city and took her mobile phone. True, the militia workers in the city in those days were almost no more than the inhabitants, so, having not had time to run and ten meters, the robber was bound by two dressed operas. Not having time to understand anything, Masha was immersed in the car and taken to the department to testify.

I have to say that Masha's profession is rare and interesting. She is a ballet artist. Naturally, the appearance of a sympathetic ballerina caused a lively interest in virtually all employees of the department, so the time between testimony and other investigative actions Masha spent, gently chatting with talented police officers. When all the necessary formalities were completed, the time was far beyond midnight. Masha’s new friends gently offered to take her home.

In the police nine without numbers with tinted glasses, five operas sat - two in the front, three in the back - and Masha pressed on the rear seat. They went.

And then Masha, assessing the situation - a toned nine, without numbers, with a clear excess of the number of passengers travelling around the city at night - asked the following question:

Are you not afraid that the mentions will stop us?

The car stopped. From the hood.

I’ve always been surprised by celebrities who suffer from alcoholism. You guys are not poor, mostly, could you not really come up with anything more interesting, drugs, for example? The joke. But the truth is strange: to write brilliant music or literature, to shoot stunning films or in movies - enough of the mind and fantasy, but the leisure to spend, except as the bottom of the bottle dive - it is not, it is not to think about. I have always considered drunkenness to be the fate of people trapped in routine. Working home work. The wife is stupid, the children are brainless. And I drank - and not so hopeless.

One day I was stuck in a village, far from civilization, almost under house arrest. There were books not very interesting, a cold winter forest, an old laptop, no internet, and enough money. To leave the house was recommended not further from the store, to go outside the village or to go into the network was not recommended at all, in order to avoid harm to health. The winter promised to be long.

Well, I thought: winter, village, Russian thirst – I’ll go and I’ll drink! I bought alcohol and stayed at home. The day I drink – fun, the second – also nothing. Third so for yourself. The fourth is not pleasant. At fifth in the morning I took the stop and realized it was boring. Sitting there was quite thirsty, and sitting and crawling - not only thirsty, but also incredibly dull. I put the bottles in the closet and went up. Not even sleeping. Health is enough, but willpower is not. My friend, the doctor came. The only person in the village I knew. He just helped me get there.

“Doctor,” I said, “help me! I can’t drink, I throw it away.

And the doctor, I have to say, had a huge experience in getting clients out of drinking. What to do, the area is like this. Here is the reverse problem. The doctor listened to me, shrugged my shoulders, and said that he could not help, unfortunately.

Do you like to drink? He asks.

Well, sometimes yes, in a good company or...

And by one?

The first day was fun, then it was crazy.

You see what your problem is: you are not an alcoholic, you are a drunkard.

What is the difference?

A drunk is funny when he is drunk, and an alcoholic is not funny when he is sober. You get bored drinking because you and the sober here in this world like it, well, in large. Alcoholics are not good here. He is willing to go to anything, drink anything, just to eat and forget. It is all escapism and an attempt to escape from reality. As I realized, this is not your joke.

That’s how I realized that I’t even get to sleep. You will have to look for yourself in something else.

The route stops. A guy comes out and immediately starts scanning the area. Very careful and tense. He is not alone, but with a girl. He remembers it and therefore, without looking, stretches out his hand. The yellow, the yellow. The partner was confused. A suitcase or clothes caught on something. The other girl did not wait and saw her hand on the way out. Oh well what? Why not? He gently puts his hand, and... the guy, having received a tactile signal, starts the movement, also looking carefully at the terrain, the girl's hand does not let go. I’m not afraid of you. – T.T. Do not be afraid. The Radio Day. Brochenka finally leaves the road and is surprised to find that the man, in the real sense of the word, is being taken out of his nose.

Instantly speeds up (Bolt rests) and...takes the guy for the other hand. It brakes sharply. Secret dreams come true at the wrong time. It goes quietly, without scandals. The couple goes their way, the girl his way. With thoughts “even a little, a teaspoon is already good.”

Yesterday afternoon, I leave the house and see a neighbor putting children’s saucers near the garbage containers. It seems to be whole, but a couple of wooden planks are missing on the seedle, but the frame is whole. Near the evening, some of the children did not get enough of the saucers, and they were taken out of the garbage. I go out in the evening to the store, I see again the same neighbor goes, "his" sandwiches again to the garbage.

I: Zadarova, what, decided to remember childhood, to ride saucers? (Born right behind the house)

Neighbor(s): No, this is an old daughter’s sandwich. I bought new ones today and throw them away.

I: So you’ve thrown them out already?

C is thrown. Our local Spanish picked up, and rides.

I: Well let them ride, you threw them out!? to

Q: What does it mean to “ride”? This is my daughter’s sandal!! to

And I suddenly presented a picture of a bombardment in a garbage container, and he said to him, "Don't eat this cluttered bottle, it's mine. I threw him out!”

Marriage is strengthened.