In 1991, when there was nothing to eat, all on the bills, the respected magazine "Ogonek" published an article in which he explained that there was nothing to eat because the food the new authorities purchased for the whole country, but did not count the population of "closed" cities, because they are secret and in no statistics they are. Yes, it was so difficult to write that I went around and didn’t look at the date of the magazine. From the 1st of April ;)

Romance: 10 minutes ago
Romance: Coming to Work
I don’t want to work anymore!
The Roman :D
I didn’t want to work yesterday ;D

Our lecturer in philosophy told about his professor (also, respectively, in philosophy) such a story.
They buried this professor in the harsh years of personality cult (a year somewhere in 38). Among other things, they were forced to fill out some lengthy questionnaire, where among the other FIO and fifth points (by the way, on the fifth item was "So yes!") there was a question: "What foreign languages do you know?".
What language should a philosopher speak? Latin is well! So he wrote: "Latin". I don't know how terribly he was treated there and how long it lasted, only gave him 10 years in the end.
And he sent them from call to call, like a true Latin spy!

Not in every pit, but in every pit.

A new programming language

The old Slavic language must be developed.
#defines how if (
#defined by
#defines if }else if (
#defines or }else{
#defining the amine
#defines while while (
#defines to do
#defines when }while (
#defined will be)
#defines for (
#defines step by step goto
Define out of exit
#defined

As long as a me 10 let a become a da 1 amen
// create a will be a without 1 until a will be 0

From one forum "Good morning! I have a very "touchful" situation, I don’t even know how to say. The days ago, I was at a reception with a gynecologist about cervical erosion, I had previously taken the smears, they were not very good. He called me in the weekend hospital to take a smear on the microflora, but the fact is that he said the smear should be taken after orgasm stimulation, what he did (begun to cause clitoral orgasm). Sorry for these details. Softly speaking, I was in shock. Here you can tell me, is his action legitimate, what such analyses are taken? I will need to go back to him again, with erosion then something to do, and I am afraid now and I am very unpleasant this whole situation."And what would I advise this lady (32 years old, by the way) you, &username&

AAA (strongly cut the finger): how to wipe the ass if the finger is not bending?
BBB is paper.

There was a dialogue with Cleverbot.

I: What is the main question of life, the universe and everything else?
Cleverbot is 42.
I: This is the answer. I want to know the question.
Cleverbot is difficult. I have to think.
I: How much?
Cleverbot: 10 million years old.

I am neither optimist nor pessimist. I am an alcoholic. In my case, half a glass of whiskey, half a cup.

OJIEHB: Well, they provide services and what? The asphalt is laid under the contract: the asphalt is laid, the money is received, and it disappears, and after them, and after spring, the asphalt itself disappears. To see the asphalt alive and clever, he returns to the owner himself so that he can earn money on it again.

I'm doing homework under another talk show of the federal channel.
Another drunk police officer shot a high school girl to death and fled. There were eyewitnesses, the car was expensive, noticeable, he was immediately detained. He sits, repents, and is asked why he left the place of attack. He, a man about 30, replies: "He was in shock"
He is asked how he got into the police, he says after the army.
Have you served in the army for years?
- Yes
Was there nocturnal alarm?
of course
So you are sleeping at night, suddenly, alarm!!! Go up!! You are in shock...

In the courtyard, one of the mothers of her 4-year-old child insistently called "Lenka". No matter what they said "mama" did not say categorically. "Lenka" and that’s all. Well, she was taught to go out with the child to walk and hide. And when he starts calling, don’t go out until he says “mama.”
In general, the baby is walking, Lena is sitting behind the bushes.And then the child realizes that the mommies cannot be seen.
See also: Lenka!
See also: Lena!
Tagged with: lennočka!
The baby: Mom!
Happy Lena, coming out of the bushes: I am here!
Shit, you are angry: shit!
Neighborhood: Better already "Lenka"...

XXX: Oral order not even to rub your ass.

Imagine a couple, almost perfect. He is a scorpion and she is a fish.
One of them: I presented. He gently calls her “my fish,” and she gently calls him “malefoot.”

Today, a general mail to the whole office came a letter from Finn.Dyr, which is sometimes delayed in the office:

"Dear colleague of book lovers!

Please do not hesitate to come to me and take the 865 sheets of the book "Fifty Shades of Grey" you left yesterday for print.
I have something to tell you.

Good day to all!"

Have you been a little late, are you waiting a long time?
It wasn’t long before I met Zen.

RSSBot: "The Ministry of Defense ordered a satellite detection system"

SERGEY: Because it is a mess. Satellites are launched? They launched.
And where are they? have to find.

Where are my socks?
In the closet.
A minute passes.
Q: What is in the closet?
And the socks.
Whose socks are?
J is yours.
M: Where is...?

Melt, until 9am today I thought the neighbor with the perforator was such a literary character... :((

The theme of spring.
<windYy> Recently, a picture was seen near some hospital - a man went out in the shells, looked at them and went on the street.