I realized I had to cut my hair when I found it in the soup.
I realized it was my hair.
HH: And he has not fallen yet.

A wolf and a wolf, why do you have so little bites?
Shades of grey, stupid.

Dmitry
One girl said that all men are stupid, although all scientists are men, all great inventions only men - scientists invented, and for women only a place in the kitchen borst to cook.
23:49:37


You are not a man - a scientist, go cook borst
by 23:49:51

Clocks have long been equated to bicycles. Now read where the bicyclists are placed.

Who are equal? In what document? The bicycle is a vehicle, and the roller coats are shoes.

In front of the railway bridge, the monsters shout: “Under the bridge!”; seeing a kiosk with fast food – the choir reports: “Shaurma!”; noticing the advertising banner with the image of shampoo Palmolive – warn passers: “Full of olive!”

De to to! The shower! The crowd immediately caught up.
The girl! The girl! The girl! The monsters noticed a smoking girl on the balcony of the next house. Probably, having decided that it was time to quit smoking, the strangled representative of the weaker sex entered the apartment.
Do not believe! Do not believe! Called the crowd.
The girl went out.
The breasts! The Sisters! The Sisters! - scandated monsters, demonstrating not so much the bullying of hormones, as the desire to sound your favorite internet mem in the very center of Novosibirsk. Favorite – without considering the “cats,” of course.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Why are you at home?
Yyy: For the first time in my life, my maximalism helped me!
XXX: Tell me
YYY: I sit at work, running out of the slugs, preparing material for the client’s wedding.
yyy: I'm looking for music on their order, obviously, only lossless.
yyy: Here the chef fits, looks at the coldrex bags scattered around the table, then on the search line in the browser - "Kirkorov flac"...
Yyy: He touches my forehead and tells me to go home for treatment.

I read from Bormor:
Some think officials are soulless machines, but that’s a mistake. The officer is not a robot. His behavior is determined by completely different rules and laws.
Law one: an official is obliged to harm a person, or at least not to benefit him by his inaction.
The second law states that in no case should an official fulfill a person’s request, except when it helps to comply with the first law.
The third law: an official must put his own well-being first, and this law can repeal both of the previous ones.
It has nothing to do with the robot. andquot;

Nobody just cares before it is good for plebs or bad. Plebs and his opinion do not require official attention at all. The budget has been allocated and the budget has been successfully spent. Unhappy people go back to the ass.

>> and some
Parked on tram rails.
The whole street stood up. I dropped the car, I go.
Walk through the traffic jams. I see that in her.
There is an evacuator leading the car.
Clean up this shit.

We are more fun. At least the tram drivers. In the same situation, after 5 minutes of waiting, the tram driver did what you thought. The result is that the car is on the road, but carefully stands on the side of the roads, and the wreck, they say, the ambulance took, so nervous when he realized the mistake.

Female logic, meaningless and merciless.
"I want a candy!"
"Well, I don’t necessarily want sweet... You can sushi, for example."

Today, agriculture yields only on the nerve ground.

6 Copecs

Anatoly Ivanovich was the owner and CEO of a small but reliable enterprise. He lived, lived and lived until his glorious half-century anniversary.
The employees of the firm gathered in full composition – all twenty people and began to think convulsively: – What to give to the boss?
They judged – ruled, dropped a hundred dollars and decided to buy a chic leather chair – practically a throne on wheels.
Anatoly Ivanovich was delighted with the expensive gift, even a tear let go and his old, by the way, leather table, solemnly handed the old lady - the secretary.
But now the solemn moment ended, the employees dispersed in the workplaces, and the happy anniversary remained alone in the office.
He swung in a new chair, used lever and adjustments, drove up and down and discovered for himself one minor but deadly defect for the pedant: in a normal position, the seat of the chair stood not horizontally, but had a small slope down. A deviation of a few degrees of everything, the other would not even notice, but Anatoly Ivanovich could not think of anything else and felt himself like a clay bump, which slowly but inevitably slides down from the soft, leather coffin of the excavator...
To put a pillow under myself on a chair for two pieces of backs was pretty stupid.
Buying another, normal chair and sitting on it while nobody sees... is also not that.
Give it back to the store? People will be offended and will do the right thing.
One thing remains – repair, or rather, modernization.
Called the furniture master on the Internet, the specialist appeared, twisted, raised the chair and said:
- With the tilt nothing can be done, the design is like this - it is not treated, get used to it. Where did you look in the store? Well, okay, you have 1200 rubles for the challenge.

But the poor boss did not give up and called a new specialist.
The new man lay under the chair, devoted the lamp, then sat down, moved to the table, grabbed the host "Parkers", so that it was something to take hands and issued a verdict:
- The slope, in principle, can be slightly corrected, you will have to pull a new crown on the machine - it will cost... so, so, so, in the area of 17 thousand rubles. In a week it will be ready.
Well, seventeen, so seventeen, a week I move.
Plus two thousand transportation to us.
“No, I don’t want to show people that their chair has gone for repair.
- Then it will not work, you can make a mistake in size, the slope will get even worse, and then what? It is not serious.

Anatoly Ivanovich again remained alone in the office and fell into a slight panic. He even thought of how to drop the cursed chair from the window on a rope so that the employees would not notice it, and after repairing the same way back. Employees may not notice, but the mints in the booth across the road, which the embassy is guarding, will surely be spotted.

Per, mother's, a pillow wrapped in scotch scotch is not such a bad option.
But here Anatoly Ivanovich suddenly recalled the long-forgotten history of a decade ago. Not even history, but a small road episode: - Once in the evening of December 31, the chef went with his family to the country and saw in the cottage a "gigol" shimmering with an accident. Anatoly Ivanovich stopped, approached and looked. Inside the “gigula” a blue man named Misha knocked his teeth. He, like everybody else, rushed to celebrate the New Year, but slightly overtaken with speed and slightly flew into the square.
Only as soon as the cars were few and in four hours no dog stopped to help, and the stove had eaten all the gasoline.
All we have to do is knock our teeth and hope for the fortress of Emily.
Anatoly Ivanych with his monster easily pulled the miserable onto a hard road and even let three liters of gasoline go off to get enough to the country.
Just as the frozen rescued did not squeeze the money, the rescuer rejected them. No need and everything - the impulse of the soul with money is not measured. But after long complaints, Misha still managed to pay, and only for the gasoline itself, and for the human impulse said a simple spiritual thanks and that he was in an unpaid debt.
To say goodbye, the rescued took his hand, handed him a business card and added that he was an excellent car slider and, if anything, at any time of the day.

The boss rubbed the contents of the box on the table and still found an old, broken card. Ten years is a long time, maybe the phone has changed. He called:
“Good morning, is this Misha?
Yes, and who is it?
I don’t even know how to say? Remember, ten years ago, maybe eleven years ago, you flew out to the cottage before the New Year.
All I remembered! What can I help you? Something with the car?
Not with a car, with a chair, even though it stands like a car.
- No matter, tell the address, I will come as soon as I can - I will help.

After an hour, Misha with two large toolboxes was already in the office.
He planted and raised the boss ten times, measured something with a barrel, then planted again and raised again. Eventually, he completely disassembled the chair on the screws and left.
An hour later, Misha returned with a third box and finally collected the chair again from individual rails.
Then came the exciting moment of the test.
The chef gently sat down, swung, jumped and floated like a small child in a happy smile. A lot is needed for complete happiness. The inclination of the seat was perfect and held with accuracy to degrees, neither more nor less.

“Misha, you are a monster, a wizard, I just now realized – how comfortable it is! You saved me!
The joyful chef drew to the wallet, but the master looked at him and said:
“Anthony, I won’t take the money, because you didn’t take it from me. Just say thank you and I will be pleased.
“Misha, you can’t, because you went to me and killed me for four hours, take this at least.

Anatoly Ivanovich extended three thousand rubles.
I won’t take, don’t even persuade. Well, it’s time, I was glad to help.
- Wait, Michael, but then on the road I still took your money for gasoline.
Gasoline is worth the money, but the momentum of the soul, as they say.
- Then let's do this: for the impulse of the soul and the work itself, thank you very much, but at least for spare parts I will still pay.

The master suddenly smiled, put the boxes on the floor, tightly grabbed Anatoly Ivanovich’s hand and said:
We agreed, spare parts at your expense. In total, you have exactly 6 copies, only, please, without giving.
6 copies, why 6 copies? What are these spare parts that cost 6 copies?
- All right, count yourself: three coins per penny are installed on one side of the inclined mechanism and three on the other. The whole...?

I visited Lucy yesterday. The inscriptions in the elevator were fully confirmed.

I turned on the TV, heard "In a few years, I will start communicating with aliens", turned off the TV.

Comments to the discussion of relativity on joyreactor.cc:

Invisitr: What if we just invented physical laws that we don’t want to refute? No one can say with 100% accuracy that this is true. Suddenly there is no usual universe and all this happens in my head because I’m crazy?
Genby: Guys, he guessed...

@VickedTory Now Spam has arrived: Legs, waist, buttocks! Courier delivery to St. Petersburg, Krasnodar, Rostov-on-Don 389 rubles! Is that what they will bring me?? to

Discussion from the Hubble about the bionic ear printed on a 3D printer:
Where to hang them? and :)
YYY: to make the concept of a pocket with ears a reality.

The Contact. One of the games. The more friends in the game, the more plugs. If a friend has not appeared for a long time, it is shown.
One of the friends changed the avatar to some wedding photo, after five days to enter the game stopped. Well, the man is married, this is not to the game. A few months later, the avatar changes to a frame from some hellish drunkard with this character in the main role. Days after two again online, and every day is the second week.
Behind such simple phenomena you can see direct human destiny, you know.

The Rub Ruby:
Belarusian rescuers with a watermelon removed the bobra from the cleaner of the House of Culture

According to the publication, Bober reached the House of Culture in the very center of the village of Red Will and slept there. The cleaner took him for a dog and tried to drive him away. In response, Bobber began to throw at the woman. After that, he did not return to his reservoir, instead headed first to the fountain and then to the barracks. It was only possible to drive him out of the village with a watermelon.

Enough of the internet for today.

I watch my girls play! sit on the butts and run around the courtyard! shout dad, we are witches! how soon they grow up.

Dad is sitting and looking gently at the box that his aunt hid in the shelter 20 years ago and only today he accidentally found. A bank of solidol, a bottle of vodka, five packs of belomor and gire. The father looks at the mother-in-law, remembers looking for the missing vodka and cries:
The gun of time yopt.
And one thing I don’t understand: was the nihiga to hide the gyrus?! to