bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №78947
 19.03.2013
Q: What is the operation?
D: Yes
M: What is it? In the brain? and ;))
D: How did you guess?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №78946
 19.03.2013
From the company chat:

What is infinite resistance?
Something in the middle between the old lady and 300 Spartans.

[ + 4 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №78945
 19.03.2013
>Don’t talk about monthly – it’s ugly. Say, the mouth has broken.

Oh, and the wicked are sitting here.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №78944
 19.03.2013
From one forum:

After one incident in our small town, I realized that the world was mad. He walked like a man on the street with a healthy dog, as it is placed in a dress and on a lead, and drank a beer. The dog saw the cat, pursued it, the owner naturally could not hold the guide. The cat under the car (a stranger is what), the dog didn't have time to brake and with all the hardship wiped the side door inside. The dog was in shock and was driving in the car. In general, the case came to court, led the case won (not surprisingly), but how! The dog was equated to the dog transport, the owner of the dog to the driver of the dog transport, and that in the end by his fault, in the state of alcoholic intoxication occurred, as a result of which he was obliged to pay a fine and deprived of the driver's license for a year! This man did not even have a car. Going for a walk with the dog...

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №78943
 19.03.2013
Hillary Clinton has for the first time publicly supported the idea of same-sex marriage.
bbb: And I always knew that Hillary Clinton was a pederast.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №78942
 19.03.2013
Perry: I went to my brother. He gets a bottle of wine and says that he ordered wallpapers over the internet, it would be necessary to glue, but they are so dense and unusual that first you need to glue, how and what glue to glue. I opened the second bottle of wine. Gugliel, nothing useful was found. Brother says "Well, let’s write in email questions: "How to paste wallpapers.... after two bottles of wine..."

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №78941
 19.03.2013
Tweriti: Russia will lose 2-3 billion euros. and what? Then you have to be a complete idiot to keep your money in Europe after that.
Cyprus has crushed Russia! and survived!

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №78940
 19.03.2013
HH: Thank you very much, dear man! What will I owe?
YYY: Yes, the firstborn in my honour will be called Roman and that’s all.
HH: We have agreed. True he is Nikolai Valentinovich, the leading specialist in the IT company and 100% will be against... but debt is debt.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №78939
 19.03.2013
Iceman: SMS from Cyprus
Iceman: only 9/10 messages arrived

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №78938
 19.03.2013
I can’t hear metal.
Yyy: It’s lithium, it’s poorly heard.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №78937
 19.03.2013
The “top of the lazy” is when at night my fat cat lies next to the dish and, swinging his mouth into it, sits.

[ + 54 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №78936
 19.03.2013
by Habr

The American will have to pay $222,000 for 24 songs uploaded to the Network

Alcanoid: That is what! One man gave seven loaves to four thousand strangers and urged others to do the same, so he was executed.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №78935
 19.03.2013
From Contact

Interestingly, when people say to each other “you are my sun,” do they mean a geocentric model of the world, or a heliocentric one?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №78934
 19.03.2013
Fuck, a machine appeared, washed all his socks.
What a fucking amount of socks!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №78933
 19.03.2013
The hottest thing I’ve heard from her in 5 years of dating is: "You have such a big contract"

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №78932
 19.03.2013
For every one who teaches, there are ten who teach.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №78931
 19.03.2013
I decided to take the rubbish. Because of the natural laziness, I just threw a long black coat right above the cowards. I see, near the rubbish pipeline, some rejected soul (years 13-14) spills its thoughts right on the wall, something about the mouth, the fuck and the Masha of 366 square meters. He notices me: in cowards, in a coat, unbrown, with a black bag, from where some incomprehensible shit drops. I say in a very calm voice, “I will first rape you and then kill you.”
Judging by the speed he was jumping through the stairs, the boy really believed me.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №78930
 19.03.2013
When I see Medvedev, it seems to me for some reason that he wears a diary and a shift.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №78929
 19.03.2013
I cook and myself read the recipe: "Bake in the oven for 30 minutes". The cat heats his ears. I catch the time, I go out for a short time, I go back to the kitchen, and he sits on the refrigerator and so confidently with a leg on the wall clock the arrow translates!!! to
Now I know who to feed the cake burned yesterday :)

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №78928
 19.03.2013
Comments on the movie "The Bible":
Hellboy: Isaac gave birth to Jacob, Jesus was crucified, and Judas was a traitor. A pleasant view.
Keepsake: Moders remove the first comment, there are spoilers!

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