Finally! There was no fireworks tonight.

Today I was given the most difficult ultimatum in my life :(
xxx: The girl said: "Either I, or the beard"

Tarakanchik: Hi to you! Do you want to join a prospective clan?

Doctor 911: Hello I do not pay taxes, I do not appear in the chat, I swear accounts and pieces, I do not help in battles, there is a tendency to overthrow heads of clans. Do you need it?

tarakanchik: hopefully cracks such and accept))

Doctor 911: Oheret, the "perspective clan"

My husband and I are 22 years old, we love each other, but we live in a rental single house somehow, and we do not plan children for another five years. To be sure, I drink hormonal contraceptives, plus a condom. but. The husband is so afraid that an unwanted pregnancy will still happen that immediately after ejaculation he gets a condom, runs with him to the bathroom and fills there with water. And then he cries out of the bathroom to me: “Everything is okay, it doesn’t flow!”
This is not what every woman wants to hear after sex.

Dialogues in a single MMORPG clan chat:
The porn game is closed.
by O_O
WOW : ahah
I hide from my wife.

I know why modern youth inserts the so-called "tunnels" into their ears - through them they pass the wires from the headphones and the "drops" are not lost when you pull them out of the ear. and genius.

For remember for the end, that at the bet are written with lithos, or for the dumb already, without a competent at birth.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Here is the question to you. I planned to order a model turboprop engine with a traction of 8 kilograms. It costs $1580. 50 motorcycle hours. What would I choose – to spend that money on the engine, the planner, the equipment and the servo drives (2.5k total) to provide myself with 50 hours of joy, or to drop those dollars on other things, providing yourself with everything you need, including even those same 50 hours of joy?)

Tagged: prostitutes

Whenever you are faced with a difficult choice, choose a prostitute.

Do you cook dinner or go to a restaurant? Is it too hard for you to decide what to choose? Then the right choice is to remove the prostitute!

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

From VK:
In the evening, I feel like a forty-white. She cooked the meal, fed the children, laid to sleep, sprinkled wood, applied water. Now I’m sitting down and thinking – Do I give it?"

They invented a computer mouse that does not cause tunnel syndrome.

yyy: gym, swimming pool, or something like that is the best prevention :)
Masturbation as a way out. Chess and mat athlete.

They are reliable, practical and inexpensive ($100). But in online stores there is a marketing move, when together with this product they recommend to look at "similar" products. In this case, it was a very similar "watch for $30,000. I can’t help but "recall":
I am a pianist. At the concert, the whole hall looks at me. Since I bought the clock, in the hall of anschlag. I am considering buying a second hand copy.
Plus: With an accuracy of a second, I can tell how much time has passed since I placed the apartment.
The bumps I live with look strangely at me. We have to swallow the clock for the night".

bots in asks smart went, 3 + 3 * 3 began to pass, people then not all answer correctly
WOW: Write one number with a word, three+3*3, so they don’t yet know :-D
D thank you!

The xxx:
You don’t write me such messages. HDD

YYYY :
Because I am a rude, untouched man! = RRR

The xxx:
Show me your strength!

YYYY :
F = m * a
Please XD

The xxx:
Bl...

A talent show, an impeccably chic young host, and a young guy who came to sing.
Hello and how do you like our show?
The guy - (from the girl and excited by the participation) great - saw you here
Only with my eyes and now with my eyes.
Leadership – and how? Real is no worse than TV.? to
What kind of real?
Director: Madrid Gygagagagagagagagi
I am sick for Barcelona.

Rats infected with toxoplasma are not afraid of being eaten by cats. The toxoplasma in their brains replaces the signal “Danger!” with the signal “Wow, sexual partner!”
By the way, most people are also infected with toxoplasma. Distributed by cats.
Cats have many ways to capture the world.

xxx: Just strange it turns out, 3 cores are cooling, one loaded.
YYY: You have a highway 4 lanes and a jiggle 7. Strangely, you only drive 100km/h on one lane, and the other 3 are cool.
yyy: Strange - it is if you are going to do 400 km / h on these dwarfs all along the highway.

I meet a friend who just left a guy, well, with a very fun look. I wonder what happened, what she says:

- You know, I can't convey the feeling when the man of your dreams suddenly confesses to you in love, and you sit like that and think "well, here's only you, shit, now missed..."

I never understand women.

A friend has a friend who doesn’t have both hands on the elbow. He uses proteins. One day he decided to test them for strength and on the open ground on the street hung on a turnik. After some time, the prosthesis did not withstand the test and crashed, it fell, everything seemed to be fine. But by the same moment passed by the grandmother. the man was hanging on the turnip, and then his hands broke off.

Physics Exam in the Universe. The whole group sits and looks at the extended tickets with horror, not knowing what to write.
Here the prede suddenly stands up and silently leaves the audience, closing the door behind him. Everyone is in shock, but immediately get the spurs. Respectfully from the back:
The man...

It feels like I took the quest not to sleep until the next night, failed to fall asleep at 5 a.m., and now every night I try to finish it and fail again. Until I finish, I will not sleep normally.