AAA: Of all the foreigners I’ve heard, the Germans speak English better and better. English is much more understandable.
BBB: - It is not the Germans speak English more clearly, it is the Russians have a similar accent. and :)

You know the proverb?
Take your umbrella, there will be no rain.
I wear condoms with me. :D

I go to the public toilet at 10 p.m. Three cabins. From one, sounds sound like trahan trahan, I think I'll go out and wait)) let my wife think I'll call - I'll call (work in the same office). I don't take the phone, I listened to the music from the toilet)) 0_o
It’s the one who’s on her phone call and I’m on my alarm. The alarmist thought I...wake up...wake up.blaying...I was registered at 11 a.m., on the way to the Zags, I will go, I will write a statement))

My husband plays Skyrim, runs with some magical sword through the woods, my 7-year-old sister looks, stands next to me.
I:Sasha!Well, you can't cut animals in the woods with a child, she's watching!
M (already gone somewhere in the forest): baby, don’t worry, the deer is alive, he’s running somewhere.
At this time, he returns to that carcass, something presses, a deer liver appears on the screen.
I: Sasha, fuck, don’t break it with the child!! to
M: All, luckily I will revive him.
The elephant walks nearby.
R: Why doesn’t he run away from you?
M: Well I revived him, he now treats me well.
The star

Vladimir A
There are varieties of grass.
The grass that smokes.
Natalia F
Of course there is
Vladimir A
You are all drug addicts.
Why do everyone know this except me?
Natalia F
Because all plants have varieties.
Cultural at least.
You would be surprised that the potatoes have varieties.
Vladimir A
What?
And the card?

Lena
You are so contextual.
:D

Tosha
) ) )
Let’s take context.

Lena
) ) )
Liquid
Trying the sarcasm.

Do you have a Twitter?
Zachary: No, I am a natural

The Prehistory. Construction of a new airport terminal. The customer is a large German company. The documentation is bilingual, respectively, in Russian and English. There is a lot of documentation, so the translation into English was ordered by the translation bureau. Before sending to Germany, we check the correctness of the translation. The airport is new, beautiful, with huge glass lamps on the roof – an architectural idea!
The story itself. Writes the architect (AR) to the asche manager (M):
AR: Fuck, I can’t send this to the Germans!!! This is shit!!! to
M is mm?
AR: these nursery translations instead of the terminal, the air defense base was taken away!!! to
M: In the sense?
They are all translated by Google, shit!!! to
AR: Do you know how these crazy "zenite lights on the roof" were translated?? to
Antiaircraft lamps on a roof!!! to
AR: anti-aircraft projectors on the blood, fuck!!! Suki, they would still have a silk coupled there and a couple of earth-air complexes!!! And such a shit in each volume bag of three!
M: Blayajajaja... the Germans are shrinking, they were apologizing again at the last meeting for the 41st...
Fuck the translators! I’m not going to pay them for Google. They translated “multi-world space of the atrium” as “full of light space of an atrium”.
M: Full of light! and atrium! Children of Flowers! Hippie is fucking! All of them shit!

From the judgment:
The court acknowledged as proven that the defendants stole a welding machine worth 582 UAH, as well as a bag for 1 UAH, causing the victim material damage for a total of 283 UAH.

My wife works in a clinic, she takes blood for tests.

I need to go to a psychiatrist. :D
Tagged: oooo
Olka: It has already passed
Olka: It would be better to write an oculist
Yes, you don’t need an oculist, but a psychiatrist – be kind :)
See also: Oga
Yeah, you don’t see where you’re rolling – the main thing is to do it with poker faces :)
Olga: Yes Yes

Want a joke about psychologists?
and yes.
And why?

Re: FW: FW: RE: RE: FW: RE: URGENT!!!and "
YYY: This is the problem of structural organizations

And the cognac?
No, I won’t go anywhere.
Alexander: What is it?
Tagged: guess
Alexander D...
Alexander: Di...
The Dip...
The Diploma...
Marina is good
The Diplomatic!! to
You’ve gotten a diploma!
Marina is
I’ll save you from the monster’s lips!

If the left nostril is breathing at the moment, then the right hemisphere of the brain works more.
and vice versa

If the nose is stuck, the brain is sleeping.

Played with the admin in puzzles, he guessed me: "Tit, cat and fox - what is it?"" I broke my head all day, everything rolls out of hand, the work stands, I want to sleep, eat and understand. And then came: of course! "Cisco Satellite!" - "Cisco Satellite!"

How will Dad Hassan be in English? Grandfather Hasan?
WOW: It was before. and Dead Hasan.

xxx: fucking, what is the name of that shredder who repairs every shredder in the apartment? Sanitary to call
YYY : A man? and :)
Sometimes my husband is called...

“Bathing is not a holiday of nakedness in the middle of the winter,” the representative of the RPC reminded. He offered to wear a special shirt"

The shirt can be purchased at the address: the temple of Christ the Saviour, the second door to the right, ask the Cyril.

How to take care of snakes?
Payment is paid on time.)

Yesterday we heard the true St. Petersburg insult from a very angry, even angry, alcoholic Oleg. "Sorry, please, I want to tell you that you are a dumb shit!" and left.