If Andrey Malakhov is thrown a dark patch on his head, he thinks it’s night, and he’s silent.

How do you explain to a child that France is not in Africa?

“Successful some Putin this time got,” Ivan Petrov told his wife Lyudmila. "The past was nothing like that - one Chechnya was destroyed, the other Crimea returned. And this... Pension wants to steal, prices are rising...
He breathed hard.
“Don’t worry, Vanechka,” his wise wife comforted him. God will give, the next Putin will be better.

In the mid-1980s, a kindergarten. To play with a toy, you had to show it to the teacher and ask for permission. And here I chose a racing car that, when you ride it on the floor, makes such a fierce wave at the expense of some internal mechanism. My fingers are pulling to take her, and one girl is shouting, “Don’t take it for Christ’s sake!” I thought “Christad” was the name of this toy. A few days later, I approached the teacher with this machine and asked, "Can I take the christarad?" The teacher made such round eyes: “You can, of course, take, mother!”

EMCHEESKA - ESEMESKA from MCHS

I call my voice, I feel like I’m not sober.
You are where?
“Sweet, sweet, I come home, it’s too late.
is exactly?
Well yes. You don’t believe me?
Turn on the TV...
Okay you...
Include it, I said.
It includes.
Okay well. Water in the bathroom?
It includes.
And now jump on your whirling bed. Not so loud. Are you a herd?
A scream is heard in the telephone.
Okay go to sleep. I love and kiss. You are smart. Not that your fucking ones are turning somewhere now!

As it turns out, it was actually:
Bar, football, beer, man 30-40 The body runs out into the middle of the room:
My grandmother is calling!
And silence... Switching the cell phone to a loud communication.
The guard turns on and turns off the TV.
The bartender puts water in the glass.
Three fans jump on the couch.
This is how 40 people can understand and penetrate!

Interviewer: “How do you think the 1970s Brazilian team would be able to beat today’s Argentina?”
Pele said “Yes.”
Interview: “With what account?”
Pele: “1-0”
The interviewer: “And that’s all.”
Pele: “Well, most of us are over 75 years old.”

and Taxi.

Take the girl young today. He sits in front of the smartphone. We stop at the light. A very beautiful girl, twenty years old, crosses the road with just a charming poppy. Short stretching shorts... All the male drivers accompanied this Empress of Pops with their eyes. The ass is right. They rarely meet. The perfect ass without a single defect.

My passenger makes a comment:

- A young man, so unceremoniously watch over the girls - мовеton. It is very low and not respectful. You insult this girl. This is pure water sexism.

In general, she read me in full.

And you know, I was so ashamed... Actually, we are watching like a prey. Not very beautiful. Women are first and foremost individuals. And they need to be appreciated for the mind and actions. And I apologized.

And when my passenger came out, I understood why. She has no ass. at all. The level. The board. I even felt that she was a little stunned. I did not watch. It is not decent.

I decided to go to the medical committee. For this reason, I went to the clinic.

The turn here is huge. No less than two dozen people and everyone needs to go where I am.

The lady came, tried to go to the doctor without a line, was stopped by three grandmothers. He tried to get into the middle of the line and was once again besieged by others already waiting. I decided to try my happiness standing in front of me.

Don’t go out of line, I’m upset.

“But I just have to ask, and I’m in a hurry,” she said.

Where are you in a hurry? The guy asked after me.

How to Where? I have a manicure in half an hour, she answered, as if it was a question of life and death.

In the end, they sent her to the end. While she argued with those in front of her, the place where she could have stood was occupied by four others.

In the struggle for freedom of conscience, the most unconscious have won.

Yesterday told: Students of the medical institute were sent either to classes or to practice (I don't know how it happens to them) in a dude and on the first day they were spent in the chambers to get acquainted with the situation, they enter the same chamber and the doctor with the screams "Asa, Opa!" He begins to knock on the palms and dance the lizhinka. All the sick in the chamber are immediately undermined and begin to burn with him, like at a wedding. The doctor danced for a couple of minutes, then went out with the students from the chamber and said to them, "Well here, outside people are somewhat serious, too tight, and here I rest my soul, there you will always be supported.

Lifhack for the government.
Pension reform should be developed by an ordinary employee with a white employee in 25 years, who will be retired in three years.

I went to the dentist at a private clinic today.

After carefully studying everything, the tooth fairy made a verdict: the structure of the teeth is good - you will die with your teeth.

Everyone wants to be happy, but many people want to be happy.

In our micro-district, the new building saw the same picture for a couple of years. Everywhere the trees are untreated, grown with grass, the bushes beaten, there are no flowers... except one house. There weeds are removed, trees are excavated, bushes are cut and flowers grow.
Every year a new drawing. On the question of whose hands is the matter, he received the answer "what kind of choked grandfather, like a former agronom or about that." I saw him, yeah, grandfather, he barely walks, works very slowly, but educatively. And he always worked only on the trees of his house, even more precisely his half of the house. It is about 17 floors, so it is not a weak part of the land.
But last autumn, he did everything he could and surprisingly went to our yard. 16 trees, cut out the grass in autumn, circles around the trees, a small shell or something there exploded and fertilized. I thought about what a good grandfather. And he also worked slowly and for a long time, half a day under the same tree. The fertilizer from the package, apparently purchased at his own expense.
Spring has come, snow has come down...and grandfather has never appeared. He probably died in the winter. There are circles around the trees in the yard. The grass does not grow as if it was done yesterday. Every time I look at him, I remember him.
There is no man, but the fruits of his labor are these, they live their lives.

Today, I finally admitted to my colleagues that they are gay.

In one yard near the entrance hanged a list of residents. The name Akashkin was sharply highlighted in it. Before the first letter were visible traces of many years and painful struggle.

My sister and I took pictures of a room in Peter, near the metro of Jelizarovskaya. In the neighboring room lived a man who loved to drink, once a month he had a stable week of drinking, and then "dry law."

Someone he was calm, not bullish, so his drinks, we were not very stressed, we were stressed by frequent visits, his friends. Here she bleached every day, sober we never saw her, but here in varying degrees of intoxication, every day, from slightly stumbling, to rolling the corpse in the hallway.

Often, her mother came to her mother to take her drunken daughter.

Once upon a time, this lazy woman, sitting in the kitchen, sat on my ears while I was boiling the tea, told me about her difficult life, how she gave birth at 17, how her beautiful daughter died at 15 years of age on her arms, since then she has poured the pain with vodka, so she is easier to cope with the severity of the loss. She sits, says all this to me, and the tears flow, straight crocodile, honestly, I was very sorry for her, I could have tried to calm her, but I did not succeed, in the end I shamefully surrendered to my room, leaving a drunk woman crying in the kitchen.

A couple of days later, the mother of Alkasha, again came for her daughter, they engaged in a dispute, the mother orets:

You have eaten my whole soul, I am ashamed to look people in the eyes, what have you done?

She answers her:

“Mommy, go home, that you’re always following me? ! to I’m grown up, go fuck me!

Then there was a loud knock on the door to the neighboring room, and then they knocked on us. This mother knocked at us to ask if we had validol, or if she was sick. We invited the woman to ourselves, sat on a chair, the sister ran to the kitchen, dive into the pharmacy box. My wife and I talked, she said:

Why do I have such a daughter? And where it came from, her father was a worker, not a drunkard, I only drink a couple of garlics of wine for the celebration, and she, well, breaks with cabbage!

I am :

She says that the pain is flooding, and her daughter is dead in her arms.

Did she tell you why her daughter died?

and no.

At this point, the sister returned, the validola did not appear, but there was a carvalol, we dug a woman carvalol, and then she told us her story.

The daughter brought her in the basement, from whom the baby was squeezed by the mother, and herself drank and walked, not coming home for weeks. When the girl grew up, the alchemist, eating the waters, stumbled on the daughter with the reproach that she is an ungrateful creature, she loves the grandmother, and the mother cheers, the mother who endured and gave birth to her. Forced the girl to go for a walk with her, like a mother and daughter on a walk. It was winter, and the girl laid off. She had meningitis. Long treatment, a bunch of money spent, the grandmother went into debt, and the mother of the girl, both cuddled and cuddled on. The girl died in the hospital. When there was a funeral, the mother of the girl went to the store, and appeared only a few days later, at the time of the funeral she was not there, at the feast days too. She did not go to the hospital with her daughter. As it turned out, when she came to the store, there met her friends Alkasha, they invited her with her, and she went with them. Between her daughter’s funerals and a drunkard with her friends, she chose the second, not bothering everyone.

After telling us all this, the mother of Alksha added:

And after all this, she tells people how unhappy she is, and how she lost her daughter, the daughter she changed for vodka!

This is maternal love.

In the framework of social responsibility, Burger King has assigned a reward to girls who become pregnant from world football stars. Each will receive 3 million rubles and a lifetime stock of vops. The girls who will be able to get the best football genes will put the success of the Russian national team several generations ahead. to forward! We believe in you!



XXX: Deleted now

YYY: Has it already been removed? Where are my whores? Have you showered? What should I do now?

Dream differs from plan by the chaotic design.