We bought a house and we don’t know where to throw the garbage bag. We go looking. We found a large bunch of sludge, in the center of which a pillar with a large inscription: Svalka. We come closer. Under the word Svalka painted the inscription: prohibited, a fine of 1000 rubles.

Oh...

Ollo
You only live in the mode of eating and sleeping.
And others will enjoy increases, hobbies, and other joys of life.

(*the voice of an elephant from the cartoon "38 poppies") Increases what, forgive me?

>>> armed to the teeth of socks..

In my opinion, even just slipping socks with teeth is already a terrible entity.

The morning. I call my home acquaintance. A rough voice:
Oh shit to fuck!
Hello, please call me Olivia.
This is Olya.

straight like a little

Much laughed, imagining a cleaner who was tired of cleaning at work, or a teacher who was tired of checking children’s lessons at work.

There was such a bearded joke about a prostitute and a resort. A man rides to her on the beach, so desperately flirting and is very surprised at the decline of interest on her part. Eventually she gets tired of the annoying caring, she tired of breathing asks him: "Man, who are you working for?" He: "Tocker"
She: "So imagine you come to the resort, go out to the beach, and here again around the machine, machine".

here here :
Sex is a kind of reward, but if you’re a woman, you’re in the jury.

... but to choose it can only from the declared contestants, and also - no one of the participants of the contest can never appear on it.

xxx: a colleague says, she came home empty refrigerator, she cooked eggs, anointed pesto sauce, a piece of parmesan on top - very delicious and ate.
xxx: I would like to answer, e@#%t, I would like such empty refrigerators with parmesan and pesto!

I have a car, I have no friend. I would give him a car, but he also has no rights and no time to study. Work and business are trying to raise. I drive him where I need to. He doesn’t care, and I don’t mind. I will go out of the apartment once more. A friend recently met a girl and turned to them. But the joke is that this beautiful woman calls me today and says, like, on Friday at 18:00 take me to a girlfriend in some ass of the world, then at night I will call and come, take me and take me home. I came up. I said, “Did you not confuse me with anyone? “Am I your driver?” I don’t know how to convey the intonation, but she says to me in a just voice of indignation, “If you don’t know, then I’m actually your friend’s girlfriend!” I answered, “Call a taxi” and put it. She called back a couple of times, but I didn’t get up. My friend hasn’t called yet, but I’m afraid the outcome is easy to predict. He will eat his brain.

Many years ago, I was part of a group of students in Donetsk.

Apparently a pre-graduate practice, I don’t remember exactly.

We were placed in a hotel.

Soon we learned that together with us there stopped a Romanian ensemble of song and dance.

When we found out, we began hiding our jewelry and money.

As it turned out, the Gypsies, learning that students settled with them, also began to hide their jewelry and money.

In Europe, the most frightening picture for a pack of cigarettes has long been found.

Which one?

– €10

The wife went to work and the husband stayed at home. The wife returns home in the evening and sees: the apartment is cleaned, the food is cooked, the underwear is washed and smoothed, the dog is walked out, everything shines and shines. A tired husband lies on the couch while breathing.
The woman, with an exhilarating smile, says:
Well, sir, can we get rid of it?
My husband changed instantly:
Without a problem!

here

So what did you say, 248 with diplomas? How many of them have education?

But the boys don't spit on anyone, everyone from the army did not cut, studied diligently and went to graduate school. And 217 instead of 248 of them because 21 treated the question responsibly and honestly said: "I will not go to study for the sake of the cork, I better serve in tractorists, why take another place?"

xxx: When we are told that we are only reconstructing the higher society, I will answer, before reconstructing the lady from the higher society, I had to reconstruct a whole herd of maids, which are to sew and sew all this.

At least borrowed. Why is it impossible to earn money while working in our country? Why all the money from some scammers, scammers, speculators and their friends, and an honest man with honest work can not earn neither on a villa by the sea, neither on a helicopter, not even on a small shopping center, not even on a shit apartment? You are angry, fucking.

Denis: Do you think meat in the oven can be baked on paper?
No, not on the notebook, but on the heatproof, you know.
vamp: pergament is also called
Denis: exactly, pergament, in it even Egyptian cats were baked
Vamp: lol, that is, they specially pulled the hairless out so that they’t tickle every time.

There is a little like this to doctors - men's doctors calmly only in dentistry, but with doctors it is understandable, dress up and discuss the work of the intestines before the opposite sex is unpleasant.

That always annoyed me. You come to the doctor, you are prescribed a uzi, and you can go through it right now, but the doctor pulls: "Only there is a man now...", "Well, I have to come to the study again and not go to the diagnosis, which is considered the best specialist in the clinic, only because he has a long organ that has nothing to do with the matter? Am I here to be treated or to show everyone what kind of a girl I am?

No need for football.

When I was a child (the 80s), I was a passionate fan, and now too, just less free time.
When I came to my grandfather in the summer, he always told me I was doing nonsense. And I cited the example of some monologue of Raikin, I don't remember exactly, but something like "22 fools in cowards run for one ball, but send them all to the factory or to the village, and force them to work..." One day I didn't stand and asked, but why Arkady Raikin, instead of speaking from the scene with an opposite voice, would not go to work at the factory, and at the same time Valentina Tolkova (his favorite singer) would not go to the fabric?
My grandfather was very upset and didn’t talk to me until the end of the vacation.

ahaha, so the men and live in the house, as in the shelter, sweat past the toilet and do not wipe the walls, do not wash the scissor from the dishwasher, they do not care about the current cranes, the crumbling patch, cats ripped wallpapers... fear that if you do repair - they will be put out!! to
Just today asked how the affairs on the personal front of the acquaintance - grit, expelled! I asked to put a pen on the door of the closet. I said " well, you can see". The furniture. She swallowed, she swallowed, and she drove him out. It is a pity men! Do not do it, they will be expelled anyway.

<Ivan> Akenet week has started. It’s not Monday, it’s AAAAD! I’m so angry that it seems like I’m about to turn into a fierce horned creature and crush everybody. I’ll go and drink, maybe.
<Alena> Don’t drink, Ivanushka...

We can earn. Not to work, but to smell! And it is desirable not to have addicts on the neck. I have a friend-doctor, no husband, no children, she walks like a wolf, with 8 at the reception, runs through areas up to 22, closes three areas. In 5 years I bought an apartment. Another thing is that for her rest is stupid to lie down. No cars, overseas, no entertainment, no updates, gadgets, shoes. Do you think about killing yourself or working relaxedly whileining health and interest in life?