bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №56224
 10.11.2011
Usually, at the wedding, among the guests invited by the bride is a guest who has already had time to try the bride before the bridegroom.

[ + 65 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №56223
 10.11.2011
The most regular file is when you go to the toilet at work, and there some steep "sniper" or, worse, a "bomber" pumped a speck. Carefully, breathe twice on the third, do your business, and at the exit you meet with a colleague who enters the same cabin. You go and think "Blyava, he will decide that I did it..." And it becomes shameful, although I don’t understand why... ((

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №56222
 10.11.2011
Stop insulting me.
You are the first guy to call me a fool.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I accidentally...
A few times in a row?
Oh, I thought you would like it.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №56221
 10.11.2011
Starting from the cosmodrome, the automatic interplanetary station "Fobos-Grunt" did not enter the departure trajectory and remained on the base orbit.
Commentary
Somehow I wasn’t even surprised...
There are two options: 1. They ate the money and launched the maket; 2. Programmed by managers.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №56220
 10.11.2011
XXX is
The Fucks! Fuck the fucking shit!
XXX is
Do I eat ice cream? I went to the kitchen to get a snack, I come back and the picture is like this.
XXX is
A dog fucking swung the fucker into a bowl with only ears, next to her the fox flies and eats my ice cream!by 11
The neighbors didn’t understand me clearly, at 4 a.m. such a scream "go off the demons!1 of 11"

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №56219
 10.11.2011
Inscriptions on women’s trousers:
Bring them to Kiev.

[ + 112 - ] Comment quote №56218
 10.11.2011
[12:12:48] Anna (Tiana): I sit in a row to the therapist, there is a Tadzjik bed, a certificate for sanitization to get. The therapist comes out, in a blue coat, and in a blue hatch, to call the next one (just my turn), and says to the Tajiks - yes, comrades, I will not accept you without Bahil, go down and buy Bahil. The Tadzjikans leave, I go to the therapist. After 10 minutes, we and the therapist leave the office - the Tajiks came, they were Bahili, apparently looking at the therapist, put on their heads.
The therapist :
Come on, the blue bears.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №56217
 10.11.2011
Now you’re on the internet, and who’s going to clean it?

[ + 88 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №56216
 10.11.2011
thx = (
WOW: What happened?
I recently started wearing glasses. I’m doing lessons, my mom comes in and says, “You have such a smart face in these glasses.” At this time on the television went "The same Munchausen". And here is the phrase, as in order: “A smart face is not yet a sign of the mind, gentlemen.”

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №56215
 10.11.2011
The director and secretary resigned in one day. Without a director is good, without a secretary is bad.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №56214
 10.11.2011
No matter how much the West is trying to put Russia on its knees,
She continues to lie proudly.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №56213
 10.11.2011
Previously, when I ran down the stairs, my muscles trembled on my chest, I liked it.)
Now the stomach is trembling, the age, the stomach.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №56212
 10.11.2011
My partner was not at work yesterday, today I called him and said he would not be there today or tomorrow (something about postgraduate studies). VKontakte he hangs online sometimes, decided to look at new toys. I watched the new CoD MW3, released yesterday. The boss is also not today...There are dumb doubts...

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №56211
 10.11.2011
The tornado, which broke all the glasses in the building of the Hydrometeorological Center, as if hinted to its employees that today is not entirely sunny and predominantly without rainfall with a weak southwest wind.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №56210
 10.11.2011
Gaiden: Dear, there is a problem in our relationship.
Lady : Which?? to
I forgot your name.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №56209
 10.11.2011
A woman must be loved so that she does not think that someone else can love her even more.

Roman: this woman should love so that she doesn't get a spit in her head)))

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №56208
 09.11.2011
xxx: by the way, mosquito bites on the hands are very pleasant and convenient to scratch with a scarf
Where do you get mosquitoes at -18 fucking???? to
XXX: The Urals
XXX: The Mother
zzz: it's still a shit... at -32 they are freezing the most hot, they don't even fly at -25, they are hot.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №56207
 09.11.2011
I don’t get enough sleep... Whether the nights are short or I sleep so fast...)

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №56206
 09.11.2011
About the robbery of Toyote - a foreigner on one of the Ural news portals. Pleased with comments:
I’m driving a Volvo and I’m not running.
I go to the tavern-closing only so that they don’t get into the salon.

[ + 64 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №56205
 09.11.2011
Phoenix: I got sick, I woke up in the morning, shaken by the temperature, decided to make tea, put on a cup of sugar, a bag, lemon and honey. While the watermelon boiled completely worse for me, I think I need to drink something stronger, and on the machine in the same glass poured a bag of raspberries. After half an hour, I felt great. I think the microbes probably just wavered from such tea and decided that it is better not to connect with such an idiot.

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