bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №54084
 28.09.2011
Russia as an airliner: the commander and the second pilot in turn take control, the autopilot is absent, access to the crew cabin for passengers is strictly prohibited - sometimes a stewardess runs through, delivering food, coffee and mines to pilots; power units are driven by pedaling passengers, as fuel is sold to pay for crew services. The dissatisfied have the opportunity to descend at any time, but the parachutes are not issued and the aircraft does not land.

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №54083
 28.09.2011
> Anchorage (09:24:33 28/09/2011)
> the employee
> appears to be quite adequate
> made a salary card
> in the bank questionnaire in the check question column he asked "what is in the black box?", and in the answer "castrated crocodiles";
and gt;
> the accountant caught his head how she would be lucky this in the bank...

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №54082
 28.09.2011
> I said to the guy "NO"... I was proud for 5 minutes. Two days of drinking.

and Erund. I’ve been talking "No" for a year. was proud. I was crying for 10 years. And this is not the end.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №54081
 28.09.2011
Tracker for FIFA 2012:
- Is there a patch adding comments of Governor in the break?

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №54080
 28.09.2011
In the interview
Are you familiar with 3Dmax?
This is a stupid program. passed twice.

[ + 87 - ] Comment quote №54079
 28.09.2011
The New Year, the flattering company of young people who walked for three days, finally fell asleep. Who managed and who managed with whom. I feel someone’s hands stretching to my girl’s body. I: with a terrible hand! In response: (confidently and with hope in the voice) wash!

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №54078
 28.09.2011
Go to bed and sleep! ?
Yyy: I haven’t been in bed for four years!))

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №54077
 28.09.2011
They say tobacco helps from fleas.
Should I smoke them?
XXX: No, I have to put it down.
yyy: A drop of nicotine kills a horse, breaks the hammer and breaks the flea into subatomic particles.)))

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №54076
 28.09.2011
at work. I go on a large, rainy rain, I in a rubber coat with a cap, took a bottle with me, in order on the way in the slurry to pick up soda.
I go to the sleeping room, the men are sitting talking... they saw me - they were silent.
I am all wet, flowing streams from the coat, holding an empty bottle in my hand, with a chilling voice.
Under the water...
5 minutes to 5 minutes

[ + 52 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54075
 28.09.2011
PROMT online translates only on current topics:

SSH connection can be used for terminal administration. SSH communication can be used for an incurably sick government.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №54074
 28.09.2011
Situation in the office:
Get water out of the aquarium or the turtle will jump out.
Let it jump out.
We will lose her in the office, she will run and get stuck at the table, then look for the fist! Here my dad once in the office stumbled on a turtle, it twice and split.
All: and what?? to
Ilya: Nothing is okay! Smoothed Scotch, she lived for 2 months.)
Alina: Let us tear your leg off, and then stick the scotch - you will live for another 2 months!! to
All: Yes, give him his foot off!
Is it something I have to do with??? I have nothing to do with this story!

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №54073
 28.09.2011
Digest (22:05:32 27/09/2011)
How to make the area of the section 1 cm tall and long
Digest (22:05:35 27/09/2011)
? to
Theologian (22:06:01 27/09/2011)
Lobachevsky and Euclid have now produced a dohuya of darm energy, twisting in the graves.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №54072
 28.09.2011
Ruslan, go with me
I am bored to be in one face.
Frey: Do you think the yuan migration of green shells every Friday is harming the economy?
Misha: When I migrate somewhere on Friday as a green hollow, it hurts my economy

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №54071
 28.09.2011
Always buy it, okay?
And again? 0 - O
and Sasha. We have a daughter at all.

[ + 54 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54070
 28.09.2011
YYY: I’m waiting for a serious Sam, six heroes, the old republic and doeblo.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx VTF
by Diablo =)
XXX: Well, yes, she’s already waiting for her...

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №54069
 28.09.2011
Comments to the photo where the boy sits on a horse.
Where is the horse, and where is the prince?
The horse is sitting on it.)

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №54068
 28.09.2011
xxx: She creates paintings by pouring paint on the canvas from bottles. Is it not art?
If this were done by a monkey...
Zzz: The Blind Monkey
qqq: also HIV-infected, suffering from autism.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №54067
 28.09.2011
Do good, go away at a safe distance.

[ + 48 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №54066
 28.09.2011
Shellban or the butterfly effect

“We influence the world around us – less than we would like, but much more than we think.”

For a week, Sasha was sitting in the hospital – he had a broken back, and the teleoperator with a sick back is not an employee at all. Heavy iron brick, for a whole day and a healthy back in a bow will bend. The most offensive thing that he had to fly for a month to Italy to shoot the beauties of Rome, but the sick back if it is not cool...
But if hospitals were given because of a bad mood, then Sasha would remain at home for a whole month - drinking and hanging, looking out the window. Drinking and Handling.
So the depression had to be carried on the legs and only a month later the hangar slightly relieved.
I was the first person to whom Sasha poured out a sick soul. I myself was surprised by that.
He is always so serious and speechless, and much older than me.
But apparently a joint trip to Peter did its job and at night under the wheels, Sasha told this story:

A month ago I had a weekend and I went into a remote park.
It is nice to walk your spaniel Gashan.
The mood is wonderful, every leaflet in the control light looks like a work of art, unfortunately I did not know to take a photocopy with you.
At seven o’clock in the morning, there were almost no people, but occasionally we were overtaken by rare meteors with proper breathing, horse speed and music in our ears.
Here to the meeting ran another healthy horse in a sporting suit, we and Gosha parted. I still thought - I should quit smoking and start running in the morning - and health and happiness.
Suddenly, the “horse” just running past stopped a dozen meters later, returned and said, “Hello, sorry...”

The horse looks forty years old, burnt, all gray, but wildly sporty. If I describe it in two words, it was a meat cubicle.
The cubic continued:
Didn’t you go to school in 1655?
I was confused and said:
In the year 1655 and...
Kubik smiled and asked:
And they played in the band!? to
I am :
and yes! And you...? Do I know you?
Kubic answered:
Hardly probably.
Then something unimaginable began: I get a short blow in the breath, and then this hideous sambist makes me a receiver from which my legs fly above my head (this is with my pressure), as a result I fall on my back from a height of two meters. I lie down and don’t know what hurts more to breathe, from the back or from a blow in the breath. Convulsively I think that except for the keys from the apartment and the old phone with me and take it nothing. The head whispers, the thoughts are confused – what about our 1655 school and my drums?
The cubic bowed to me and... made a check in the forehead...
It was a scratch of satanic power, I was even forced to switch to black and white vision for a few seconds. Such scraps probably distributed the ballad to his employer pop.
Here is a meat cubicle and he says:
You don’t know me, of course, but once, when you were in school,
In the classroom, you came to the dining room, there was a row of first-class girls. Same
To the first, you, without looking, gave a leash, raised the leash and threw it out of the line.
I then dropped a glass of tomato juice from my hands and poured the whole form. I could not go to the check-up in this form, escaped from the lessons, received from my mother for a white shirt, and the next day got two pairs for walking, because of them by the way, the coach did not take me to the fees in Anapa... Well, we talked, be healthy and apologize for the company...

The cubicle swallowed my spaniel and ran on, while I was lying on the ground for a long time, very sorry that it wasn’t an ordinary robbery.
The cheerful Gosha jumped around and diligently licked my face.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №54065
 28.09.2011
Hello, it’s from kindergarten. Your turn has come!
My son was taken to the army yesterday.

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