Tell me what is warm and safe.
Is it a hamster in a condom?

A friend taking off the water costume at the fair asked a friend to cover up from people, but how did he know that at the most responsible moment a joyful cry of a friend would spread - look at dolphins!!! to

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I love him, I want children from him, I want to suck out of him, I can’t live without him. It is :'(

Sosindi (19:48:12 28/05/2010)
In other words, I am Ilya.

Sosindi (19:48:18 28/05/2010)
Tania in the kitchen

Sosindi (19:48:22 28/05/2010)
It happens

1st So why did you divorce? It was all great, was it?
2nd She did not share my interests.
1st What other hobbies do you have?
2nd Well what? The women.

Recently, Gula saw a funny inscription on the garage:
Lenin is alive.
Elvis is alive.
That is alive.
Jackson is alive.
Goff is dead.

Do you remember Tanaka?
ZZZ: Did you find it?
XXX is a bitch. As was the case. We met for 2 months. I stumbled into my ears. They were talking on the phone and fighting. I shouted to her so-"Silence let me, even if you will seem cute!" Well she dropped the phone and all.I write - no answer((((( and I know how I loved(((Dapper and all that)
Zzzz: I know this story.
Yesterday I received an SMS from her.
It"ll catch?"
Oh, I am in shock.
Hello, where are you missing, baby? How are you? What is it?"
What"s about silence?"
The Fucks!!The month has passed!!In silence, she was playing!! to
zzz: marry me ? ?

My mom told me a story today. At work, I addressed a friend (z):
M: Print me a bag of sugar, please.
Q: Welcome to the Internet Addicts Club.
Q: What if there is no internet?
Q: Well guess what was my first thought when you said ‘Print me a bag of sugar’?

Sandos: Horror Story 1987 "House 2: The Cursed Abbey"
They knew!! :D

Those who walk their way are constantly on their feet.

“You do what you want, and I went skiing,” said the father and went.
to the door.
to stand! be afraid! Mother said, “Take your son with you, then go!”
And in the snow! - said the five-year-old son, postponed the joystick from
The game console "Dendy", and the machines on the TV screen froze. – s
Tough to ride.
“Five minutes for fees,” said the father, “and once you have a snowcoat, give it.
I have a rope and a belt.
Do you take soap in the bathroom? My mother pleased me,
Take a belt and a rope.
- You won't wait, - replied the father, - to the hills through the field and the forest five.
The kilometers. Not to pull the snow on the hill? I am attached to the belt.
I will wear and pull on the back of the trailer with a cranky move.
- You take him whatever you want, - confirmed the mother's thought, - only the son does not.
to lose. Otherwise I won’t let you go home.
“I will not lose it,” said the father confidently, “I need it myself more: we are in
The dancers will play tonight.

To the place where it was possible to go skiing, arrived without adventures.
With one hand, the father dragged the skies, holding them in a special professional way, the other - a rope with a snowmobile. After crossing the last street separating the city from the field, the father tied the rope to the belt, put on a belt, got up on skies and went. Simultaneous one-step running.
A good skier develops quite decent speed. My dad was a good skier. Pulling the snowmobile was not much more difficult than pulling the usual BI-6.
Dad pulled up. The son ran, talking from behind, like a water skier behind a boat.
The meeting people pointed to them with their fingers and ski sticks. The couple looked beautiful. Five passed in fifteen minutes. In front of it was already seen the slope of the first oak, - the same "hills" from which it was to ride.
“I will not brake,” he thought, “I will jump before I go down.
I will land on the hill. It was not bad once.
On the right were some fresh pins. Another six meters, and Dad jumped, and then the surprises began. The devil's rope stretched and torn him back.
When a good person in a good movie shoots a bad person from a jet grenade, a bad person is quickly taken in an unknown direction. Dad got even faster and more familiar.
He was thrown up and carried back. Have you seen the wedding doll on the hood? Have you seen the tea on the curtain of Mhatt? If they both put on skies, wrap ski sticks in their wings and throw their backs forward to the devil’s mother in the air, it will be like that.
A doll has no wings. Give the doll wings!
Dad didn’t fly long. Even in the middle of the flight, he realized that he would not die: before death, before his eyes all life flashes, and before his eyes were skies. He dropped the sticks, managing to release his brushes from his belts. Watching the skies was boring, Dad closed his eyes and nodded on his back. The snow was dotted, but still deep and not very hard.
Dad was lying on his back in the posture of the same doll with the hood, and he felt skis kicking on his legs from the wind. He opened his eyes. Through the skies it was visible that a couple of adults and three children were bowing over him.
Dad, what are you lying for? Asked a child, being a son of
I broke my nose and lip, and proudly, and I broke my nose to blood!
Are you whole? A man of my father’s age asked.
Stretching his hand to help him get up, he could get you to the hospital.
Should I?
The Uncle! A 7-year-old boy broke a man, how beautiful you are.
Are you jumping? Can you teach?
“No, boy,” replied the father to the last question and stood up, “no.”
I will learn. This is our family kung fu. It is only transmitted from father to son.
After spotting his son, looking at the skies, the father found a snowmobile stuck between two pine pines.
“Son,” the father asked, “have you seen these pins?” Why invaded?
“Daddy,” replied the son, whispering with his broken nose, “if you get into “Dendy.”
A machine at an obstacle, it flies away. Here is it, son.
I pulled my shoe, no. Do you understand? Let us ride from the mountain.
After evaluating the harmfulness of computer games in a few maternal words, the father pulled off the attachments and led his son to ride from the hills.
They easily escaped. The speed of twenty kilometers per hour, of course, is small, but dangerous. Even though they both got more from their mom in the evening than from speed.
Nineteen years have passed. My son is twenty-four, and I have no time to go so far.

In the store, a man addresses the seller:
- Hello, please 3 boxes of vodka, 50 liters of beer,
5 Martini boxes and 30 packs of condoms.
Here please.
and thanks.
Young man, wait for you!
What is?
Take me with you!

Email for employees of the company:
Dear owner of a glass bottle with tomato juice. You probably forgot about the wonderful bottle you put in the refrigerator compartment. What happened to her was sad. Please take steps to save the refrigerator.

From the discussion of the myths about the Kalashnikov Automat:

Yes, I can’t clean for months and it’s OK!! to
Yyy: Any weapon needs to be cleaned, even if it is a stick O_O
zzz: well about the stick you bent heavily) there are no mechanisms
YYY: If you do not clean the rod, the dirt can soften the blow!!! to

Stephen diluted the white cold substance with apple juice. As his victim, he chose his best friend and, in conjunction with the chef of the pub, whom the drink had to taste.
“The taste of this drink is like a sweet baked cream,” says the chef. I drank a good dozen cups before I felt something wrong. The reason for my concern was not the taste, but the smiling Stephen, who was angry and kindly told me that I had just drank a good half-liter of horse sperm.
The next day an unusual drink, which honestly indicated horse sperm, appeared in the menu of the pub. Visitors decided that it was a joke and in one day devastated all the supplies of Stephen's cooked dough.
“I ordered this ugliness by my friend,” one of the visitors to the pub “Green Man” told me. “At first I thought it was a joke, but when I asked the bartender if there was horse sperm in my glass, I got a positive answer. I spent the rest of the day in the embrace of the toilet, although, I want to admit, the taste of the drink was very even not bad, and if it wasn’t my excessive sobriety, I would definitely try it again.” 1 cup of horse-sperm cider costs $25.

Yesterday on the boulevard, a girl picks a guy:
Sasha, it’s time for you to go home.
Katya, I’m sober, I control everything perfectly.
I am Lena!

The year 2007. Then, as in general and now, Governor of Kemerovo Oblast. Amman of Tuleev. The opening of the Yamaha store in Kemerovo. Music and Champagne. Two old ladies go, one of them, and says, "Tuleev really told me what does the store at Haman open?"

On the site is sold a TV, reference to it:
The xxx:
The New World: The New World! Don’t get your wife off the TV.
Disadvantages: The price... Well and the wife from the TV not to pull away...

The circle was washed. The dust on the table and the monitor wiped out. The cat scratched. Beer in the refrigerator.

Congratulations to Serena!
Good afternoon admin!

P.P.S. I drove this motorcycle for two days, so I didn’t start this morning.
I hardly found it all out.
And it turns out until you kill the foot, he doesn’t give the fox a spark.

and Volgograd. The temperature is 40+.
He was engaged in welding on a metro loft under a metal roof. Out on the street in an hour. I am what...
The fucking! 40 is cold!! to