XXX: I think today, Ipanutya truth but still
XXX: here you walk in the corridor in the morning...and two of your acquaintances (colleagues) come out of the thrust.
XXX: one hand is wet - you have swallowed it, the other is dry - normal handshake
XXX: Do you know what I am talking about?:D

xxx: we have such an interesting story with you, dear... novels can be written!! to
Or an anecdote.

The queen gave birth in the night, not a son, not a daughter, not a mouse, not a frog.
Mom, don’t be fooled, right? :( is

Comment on the news about the establishment of “Aeroflot” association in support of the rights of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people:

The Doctor: E. The epithetics sounding at Aeroflot when the flight is delayed will no longer be treated as an insult?

Blondino4ka: I thought here: why does a man need hair? Except on the head... why do they grow?
Manarx: Let them scratch when you scratch eggs

I didn’t need to have seven (!) Once in a row to write the SMS "Do not try to install the screw alone!and "
Sorry, apparently the operator glitched.
I’m stupid, but I could do that nonsense.
YYY: You are my wisdom
xxx: And you understand, that it is not worth doing this alone, I understood after your fourth sms, but on 5-6-7 I became really interested in what will be!!! to
YYY-...
Sun, you’re going to come, right? My computer is not on at all...

The accountant is burning.
I had a 38 year old accountant.
She walked without a fireplace and smoked with us in the office.
I was fired (
New accounting for 2 weeks.
In Sr called me says: “As I did in Excel – turn on the hand – I broke my brain, proving that this only happens in drawing programs.
In Pt collapsed base 1C - this is the second case in 12 years of work (but the first we rebuilt - this time we can not)
I told the car reporter:
Speak after the signal. drink. what? What a signal? What do you say...?

And I thought all the stories about the buffs were tales...
Cat is

Everyone is a good lawyer for themselves and a strict prosecutor for others.

On an excursion to the famous Singapore viewing wheel, the guide told us that this wheel was built in the best Eastern traditions – it rotates on the fenish, only on the clock. It produces positive Zen spiritual energy to the city. Our large group, representing an entire international, listened to this message with benevolence.
And only one child next to me quietly whispered in Russian:
“Has he tried to look at the wheel on the other side?”

In the store, the seller changes the price on the laptop from 25 thousand. The rub. by 20 thousand.
Why did he suddenly get so cheap? The buyer asks the seller.
New Year’s discounts are over.

for man =>
I was talking about intellectuals. I probably lagged behind in life, but for me the goopnik is not adidas, cap and seeds, but mat, crowd riding on one, pressing money and phones, raping girls, and many other actions. The people you are talking about are normal people. But you were in this case, because you do not have your own opinion, and you have replaced it with a stupid stereotype, and you are also insulting ordinary people across the country, because the gopnik is an insult.
=> Congratulations to you

The cockerel:
I will meet a girl with a goal ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Why when I see advertising on the yandex: help robots: write the index correctly, I immediately imagine Megatron in the baseball mail of Russia ;(

XXX: Get rid of it
XXX: The Beer...
XXX: blue with glow. Should I?
YYY: No
The women’s socks.
xxx: I feel like I'm here when I kiss I can gather a couple of cats and grandmother...

On one of the sports sites is given one mega cool technique for pressing which, according to the idea, should make you a heracle. The first comment:
I had to squeeze 300 times now my arms are removed and I can only write while sitting. What should I do?? to

In the Russian police will appear intellectually developed specialists, able to solve the tasks with the help of new technologies, said the head of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Russia Rashid Nurgaliyev, reports RIA Novosti.

Wild Cat: Almost no one knows about it, but in fact, after a hard day of work, an ordinary Russian policeman. He comes home, removes the gray shape, takes a bath with foam, climbs into it, opens Tomik Bunin and cries. Because he can’t read.

Dialogue with the girl:
- Dear, I'm home, on the way I'll jump to the pharmacy, I'll buy condoms, wait
It’s too late to buy condoms when there are two stripes on the test.
- O_O
I joke, I bought it.

and©

In a 24-hour shop in Belarus at two o'clock at night.
I: Please give me a beer 0.5
After 11 p.m. we do not sell beer, only vodka.
Epic File

Discussing the proposal to raise your hands up when you cross the pedestrian... Proposals: issue red flags, give reflecting vests... One of the stones: "And here is another advice: before the transition you can burn a hat on your head - it will be visible from a distance, especially at night!"

Tuesday is only half an hour from the start. I am already embarrassed.
I went to the toilet. In the corridor she stumbled upon her brother’s crosses and turned in the dark. In the toilet she slipped on a sex cloth hidden under her feet and almost dive into the toilet. I washed my hands and hit my little leg at the door. I decided to heal my leg under a stream of cold water. optimistically considering itself flexible, included water in the dishwasher. Suddenly, like Maya Plysetskaya, she shrugged her leg. He starred with his thumb toward the bathroom. People who are interested in details. He dropped his foot under water and suddenly struck with boiling water. and jumped.
In general, when a bath towel fell on my head from the hook, I was not very surprised.
I’ll probably be at home until evening. I am insured and I am not insured.