I sit in the jacuzzi pool in the fitness club. Next to me is another very pregnant woman, rubbing about the maternity house and so on. Here comes a man, sitting next to me, to my left. We reduce the noise, but continue to talk about pregnant topics. The girl asks: "and he is pushing heavily?"I say, well, yes, this is what she just got with her heel under her left ribs. At these words, the man was almost thrown out of the water out of indignation, he cried for a long time, through the noise of the water we only uncovered, "If I hit you, then by chance, and then - not with the heel, but with the hand, and not on the ribs, but on the foot." How then we laughed all three did not drown - I don't know))))

Answering a question from the hall, the Prime Minister of Belarus Mikhail Miasnikovich raised the situation with such a joke: "There are three degrees of poverty of the Belarusian: the first - no money, the second - no money at all, the third - will have to sell dollars."

A familiar monoblock with a touch screen. He said he turned off the sensor. The reason - mosquitoes hit the screen and manage to close open programs.
Survived to complete computerization - mosquitoes study Windows

I like the graduates.

The certificate is awarded %username%!
...
He is already in the army.

Sometimes it seems that the goods of Russian production should be written "Russia. Made for fuck"

Every day I go out on my glazed balcony and kill dozens of mosquitoes, mosquitoes and flies of various sizes in the open windows. When I went out today, I noticed the oxygen again. A few different sizes! The first thought from what I saw: LevelUp!

News on RBC: "Moskovich gave the police almost a million for unconventional sex"

So, it’s proven that they’re still pigs...

5 years ago, having received a gift from his mother 2109 turquoise, he could not meet any girl sitting in the car.
Now, having earned on Pajero, since the beginning of this year, I fucked four in the car, and six outside it, already on the second date after the cabbage.

And just don’t tell me, dear fools, that I’ve just gotten fantastic in these five years.

AST-Systems: Hi, can you rework the bill by adding another 20 boxes of paint and throw it off on the fax?
Good morning, one minute, an urgent matter, then a drop.
The system: OK
Did you bite jellyfish as a child?
Originallogin: Oh sorry not to you.
AST-Systems: Nothing, solve your questions. We will wait...

I need a funny joke.
So that I can read her.
Laugh loudly or quietly, roll under the table, smell tears of happiness, tell it to a girlfriend, my friends.
To raise my mood, whether I want it or not. Not to be a template.
To be able to remember her, when you drink tea and splash the monitor from your nose, stupidity, of course, but still a lot of fun.
And then take and press "funny" and don’t be ashamed of it.

Sup: describe, plz, your sequence of actions prior to the occurrence of the error.
US: He boiled the tea, put a bag in a cup, poured a boiler. I’m going to the compound – and there’s that shit...

A mother (M)'s conversation with her 15-year-old daughter, who is going to walk in the evening:
I want to be in bed at 10!
(after the break)
In my own, of course.

Nuremberg
We Senya and Sascha gave the heat... forgot about the certificate and when they remembered they were in the hell on the clothes dressed in nips that... generally such a picture. We go to school with helmets on our heads and see around the people in ball dresses and costumes...this is where the pipet began. Everyone came together as if they had seen the clowns, well, they lived with them and with the watchman who did not want to let us go... and here she is! The solemn part! Everyone is announced in the microphone, everyone is baffled, the guys come out in elegant costumes, the girls in long elegant dresses, with lush hairstyles, only the ticking of heels and the ticking of evening dresses was heard. announce my name and here I go out... in shorts, don't bother, a messy jacket with a helmet in the hands and leather gloves... I think the comments are unnecessary

Alexis
No one has been able to send the whole system of secondary education so far.)

There is only one way to get a Russian person to read the license agreement: to write it on an air refresher.

Matthew_Kane: I’m not tired of admired by IKEA’s ingenuity. Well, they distributed the names of their range there, so that every poor taburet of fenery was no longer a victim of factory abortion, but a "Lakk" chair, and seemed to hamsters a handmade product, which was assembled manually by Swedish virgins. Today I was just thrilled. The fact that the couch is quickly wiped and wiped, they have in the catalog called "soft coating with memory effect".

I: Fuck, I just fought with Lenka. I sent her shortly!! Going to the club to shoot?
Lena: What is it!!!!?? to
The window is wrong...

I have a friend in the status "I baked beauty". Either the German woman is waiting for me at home in the evening, or she is in the solarium again.

Service in Moscow.
I called the prostitute, it was necessary to rehearse the speech for the candidate (well, there was no one else), so she not only was not surprised, but also wrote a whole list of comments.

Vera: We were in the guests yesterday at the R-s, watching the photos from their last rest. You know what figure Max has, and now he has lost a little weight, and now the torso has become very, very good...
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Vera: Well I don’t know, in my opinion, it’s the opposite – it’s healed, there’s no waist...
One news is better than the other.

A healthy country is when the number of gyms and cycling trails near your home exceeds the number of establishments selling alcohol.