bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 115 - ] Comment quote №47384
 14.05.2011
Damn, and it is only in my city that pharmacists do not comment on the purchase of condoms or tests, the sellers in the supermarket do not rush over the incompatibility of my purchases, and the turn does not lie out of quick jokes? Tell me where to go, where to have fun.

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №47383
 13.05.2011
Sanya (13:15:39 13/05/2011)
I have a computer crash, what do I do?? to

The answers:
My car doesn’t start, what’s the reason?
I want to lose weight, but I can’t do what to do?
I have a quarrel with my wife, I don't know why.
555: cooked peelmen, it turned out to be unpleasant, why not?
I am sick, how can I be cured?

111: Are you a dumb dumb? This is a forum for campers, not for stupid housewives like you!!!! I need a specific answer to a specific question!! to

Christine (13:17:01 13/05/2011)
Is it funny here? You computer scientists are all fools.

[ + 91 - ] Comment quote №47382
 13.05.2011
On the website of the cinema:

"Only in IMAX you will immerse yourself in the atmosphere of the new adventures of Jack the Sparrow..."

First comment: "Not Jack the Sparrow, but Captain Jack the Sparrow"

[ + 82 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №47381
 13.05.2011
c.n.n: called the girl at home last weekend, after all we talked and it turned out that she is a very interesting and pleasant person, and I think she can get better)) tomorrow I go on a date with her^^ how do you think where to bring her, right?
zzz_ip: bring it to the skin dispenser!

[ + 97 - ] Comment quote №47380
 13.05.2011
XHH: Self-management in our school is terrible, everyone is put in place. I am a type boss, one friend is my deputy, the other is deputy deputy.
And the third is Aram зам зам? :D

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №47379
 13.05.2011
You have such a touching drunk! I bled to tears.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №47378
 13.05.2011
Don Tello > Atri, try to rinse your throat with diluted chamomile tincture
Atrium Akvidus > For what purpose?
Don Tello > but if you spend less time, you get tired.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №47377
 13.05.2011
I sit on a pair, from nothing to do I draw a bear... A groupman turns around, takes a drawing with the words "only fools draw bears!" After 5 minutes returns a drawing with the words "Now, painted you a little..."

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №47376
 13.05.2011
I go to the IT department today. One of the administrators tries to repair a broken barefoot by wrapping it with a large needle with the help of flat-flooders. The phrase "Our administrators are so harsh that they can forgive even barefooters!" was born somehow...

[ + 56 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №47375
 13.05.2011
You never get tired of watching how the water flows, how the fire burns and how the Canadians cry in the quarterfinals)))

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №47374
 13.05.2011
And a thread, and a boat with a spool. The shirt is not a problem.
"And I also know how to cross..."
To cook, to change the electrical wiring, to refined the part on the token machine, to refined the cow, to repair the car, to grow flowers.

Everyone should be able to change diapers, plan invasions, cut pigs, construct buildings, manage ships, write sonets, keep accounting, build walls, repair bones, facilitate death, execute orders, give orders, cooperate, act independently, solve equations, analyze new problems, throw thorns, program computers, tastefully cook, fight well, die worthy. Specialization - share of insects"
© Robert E. Heinlein "Star Landing"

Technical support staff ;)

[ + 87 - ] Comment quote №47373
 13.05.2011
<false ocean> I go into tax today, new details for buffs to rewrite!Over the info.standa a bunch of people with leaflets, pencil, etc. Nearby is a table behind which a bunch of people are sitting on each other’s head well and just at the table....I mean, I look at this whole primitive age, I get the phone and quietly photograph all the requests I need from different angles...Hey, such evil faces I have not seen for a long time, but most of all I was killed by an uncle who almost let go of tears looking at me, then on his iPhone, then on his 2 printed A4 sheets...

[ + 58 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №47372
 13.05.2011
The first comment to the news on the ramp that in 2045 Russia will create the first cyborg:

-If Russia reaches the 45th year, then this artificial man will be made on Togliatti and he will be as poor as the production of the factory))) Will come out of the conveyor with a light bump and immediately send someone to us)))

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №47371
 13.05.2011
What would you do if you had one day left to live?
Answer: I would look at the tape from the phone call, and fuck that terrible fuck, dying earlier.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №47370
 13.05.2011
I’m walking in a big park, two old ladies in front of me. The roads are not very narrow, but the ladies go so that they don’t get around, whoever rides will understand, we have 90% of the way. I ring the bell, ladies are frightened, confronted, separated, discontented. I move forward, and there is the light. During my waiting for the green light the ladies fit, one so disapprovingly:
- The girl, in general, for everyone "on the wheels" the road out there - and points to the road.
I smile and answer:
What if someone in a wheelchair is there too?
The woman rounded her eyes:
What are you comparing? The same man!

The red girl without a cat.

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №47369
 13.05.2011
Bloodyhell: Hello Listen, I seem to have turned Oleg’s sister into Jehovah’s Witnesses. I meet Oleg, he beats me in the face without a greeting and speaks something about sects. And here I remember that once on a cigarette I went to Oleg, on the road I was infected with religious spam, I pushed him into my pocket on a machine. Oleg was not at home. I spoke with his sister, took cigarettes in my pocket, stumbled on papers, I was inspired and I was afflicted) And since I know the Old Testament poorly, and the Silmarillion is good, the Jews have created the Illuminator and in general the biblical stories have become much more sophisticated and interesting.:) In the end I sent her these jehovist spam and dropped, and she turns out to be going there for two months))) Tomorrow I go to her to discourage her.by :
Smoke before that. :D

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №47368
 13.05.2011
Maxxx: Let’s see the movie?
Gaia4ka: Go on
Maxxx: Pretend to be my wife
Gae4ka: O_o well
Maxxx: The Movie "Fake My Wife"
Gaia4ka: (and I have already entered the role

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №47367
 13.05.2011
Police officers approached the suspect. Seeing them, the young man tried to escape in the car. He decided to throw out a package of drugs. The package broke, and methamphetamine filled the suspect and the car.
Using the vacuum cleaner, the staff of the State Department collected about a kilogram of drugs.

XXX: How is the dust?
yyy: After the first five grams the vacuum cleaner was not stopped for a few hours
Zzzz: now considers himself a ferry carrier

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №47366
 13.05.2011
@gr00sh Traffic is coming! Traffic is coming! Porn brings and spam revitalizing, trolls of fat always real!

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №47365
 13.05.2011
and Ell:
If we made women, they’t break either. © BMW
by Drim(off):
Women’s journey is done by Windows

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