AG_EviL_RS:"Putin drove on the "Lada Grant".Putin praised the car and decided that it needs to be driven to the country, especially since “two bags of potatoes” will interfere in the trunk. True, immediately start the engine he was not able to, and the luggage bagged." - Mya already.VAZ. Keeping Traditions...

from ZH:
- I would go, but I am from that part of the country where only advanced 3.5 people know about Navalny)))
Who are these other people besides you?

xxx: It was cautious on the part of the seller to wrap the scarf in toilet paper =\

On the car today:
Vladimir Putin asked to open the luggage compartment, but his castle was ashamed. However, a few seconds later, the luggage was subdued thanks to the joint efforts of I. Komarov and S. Chemezov.

It was not immediately possible for Putin to start the car due to the presence of an electronic gas pedal. However, the prime minister quickly oriented, and from the fifth attempt the car ran off.

Who needs a Louis Vuiton bag? The original from Beijing, there is a photo, I sell at the cost.
YYY: Who needs the original BMW from the new Urengoy?

xxx: Do you think the shop "Shoes & Pillorama" can sell shoes?
Yyy: Shoes, but sausages I bought there yesterday.

<raylu> “Ubuntu” is an African word that means “I can’t configure Debian”

I come home, and on the table a note with my mother’s handwriting:
"The refrigerator is probably broken". The word "Probably" has been repeated several times.

XX: I went... to the casting workshop. Actually I wanted to say "I went to cast", but that would be too much...

One of the orders from the building after the company:
The Serpent! Find out the mystery! No one guessed yesterday.
He is trying to formulate...
Which coin does not have anything?

I fucking thought about the mystery.

Ahuen life and a cup of coffee, please!and :)

Wear trousers over your pants, fight the system!

Announced by:
"I will house in 2 square meters with furniture, phone and balcony. and cold k. C is separate. Without the owners. 8 the floor. It is not a repair, but not an old one. Carefully and clean. The metro min. 5 is It is delivered from 1.06 on a long-term basis (as long as everything is occupied and paid). I live in the 2nd. There is a girlfriend once a week, but she doesn’t live. I work in a software company. Who does not understand what the word '''soft'' means, please do not call. I am looking for a suitable person in the current place without a v\p. Boy or girl doesn’t matter. More important is solvency, independence, and responsibility. The stature of the room indicated approximately, taking into account the commonwealth, electricity, etc. Important point: advance payment for the quarter once every 2 months. (300 and 300) Pay in Ue, so don’t ask what course. We exchange money for money and pay. For those who want to trade cheaper and not sure about tomorrow: there is a convenient garbage pipeline at the entrance. For girls: No laundry, I sometimes use the laundry self-service. Apart from the towel in the bathroom, nothing hangs again. For everyone: I do not touch other people's things without knowing, and I do not go to the neighboring room without an invitation, in fact, I do not wait for invitations. In short, I try not to live as a community, which I expect from my neighbors. Numbers until May 15 simultaneously consider the option of joint removal of 2 squares near the work (Pl.Victory-I.Kolas). PS: SPB site for bug, allowing you to publish an ad for more than 400 characters :). Valery"
Sheldon Cooper, your mother

A girl from the accounting office called.

I accidentally deleted the file.
I: What did you do?
She: I accidentally pressed delete and then enter. I clicked on the basket with the right mouse button and instead of opening accidentally clicked on clean. I was frightened and mechanically tapped enter. What should I do? File is needed.
Give me a little...

The theme of women’s bags.
I bought myself a summer bag, not sticking.Papa stated without appeal that the phone from it will be stolen from me.
to steal?Let them try to find it first!

My mother comes from work and says:
The employee of a great mind hanged a portrait of Felix Dzerzhinsky on the wall with a mourning corner..the young colleague's fairy phrase goes on: "Why did you hang this man a mourning tape, maybe he is still alive?"

Someone's entry in the online diary:
T"ut I recently picked up a bag of raspberry tea from Ricky.
I don’t know who it is, but for me, summer is a honeymoon. It is a pity that it froze.

I swear. It becomes blue, gradually changing to purple and then red.
The chemist in me thought: "Joke"
The biologist in me thought: "Joke"
The doctor in me died of horror.
And I took a philosophical breath and decided: “Everything that doesn’t kill us, it’s in the bathroom.”

In our organization works a nice girl, engages in receipts, works with a large number of clients-banks, therefore you need to remember a lot of passwords/logins.
During the maintenance of the computer I find on the desktop a folder "Poroli".
It is exciting, you know...

Someone who works in support.
calls the customer (K) to those support (T)
Q: Hi I am your subscriber I have a problem with the internet, I don't work half the monitor
Q: You probably need to contact the computer/monitor service center.
Q: No, I’m your subscriber, I’m paying you money, and your internet is on the right side of the screen, and it doesn’t work with me and I can’t see what’s there like, fix me my monitor with your internet!
The company's policy does not allow you to send the subscriber out, the operator of those support tries to find out what is with the monitor, but the customer can not explain the fact.
I decided to send a specialist to help find out.
When the specialist arrived at the scene, he barely contained from laughing. It turned out that the shelf from the closet is ripped out on the table, and when the Client tries to lead the mouse to the right side of the monitor, the hand rests on the shelf and does not allow him to move his hand further and he can not get to the right side of the screen with the mouse cursor.

Status of the acquaintance: Chinese knives click on rice.