bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 82 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45984
 15.04.2011
Don’t be in a hurry, maybe our subway branch will get up.
WOW: From what?
XHH: I was driving from the object - I was carrying a pair of dead switches in a package, a wreck of wires and cables. I Dormed. In short, I left him in the car.
XX: A packet quietly lying in the corner, with some black boxes and multicolored wires coming from there...

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №45983
 15.04.2011
In vain, you fuck about glasses and ultraviolet. All praise on your glasses and on the ultraviolet too. But the shit prevents me from reading humor. Go on shorter.

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №45982
 15.04.2011
United Russia will nominate Putin for new presidential election
Putin’s deadline is running out.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №45981
 15.04.2011
Kitz: I got a day in the market. My aunt, 45, when she looked at how I was cold, shouted: “Oh guys, you are our... Mommy, a little bit, the hat is blowing, and you put it in your pocket at the exit and to school on the groves. “Evona, the shoes have stunned!” I hear that I’m red, but not from shame, but from the restrained rust. Then she suspiciously sneered at me, “Daddy, are you not walking? Here I had to fantasize - that I forgot the change, I run home, the road through the market, I want to buy a gift for my brother. I even got a discount on baseball :)
Chapter 39: I didn’t understand. Have you walked in nature, where is the joke?
Kitz: How to tell you... I’m not an angel, I’m a horse, but the last time I walked was exactly 16 years ago :)
VolkaIz39: Kuasa o_o Fall in the Zags )) jump communicate, I thought you were 17, just counted not in measure )))

[ + 61 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45980
 15.04.2011
Here they asked:

At the exhibition in Moscow "Archimedes", a laser gun for the self-defense of astronauts was presented.

I have a question "from whom?"

At the Kasmichic tourists, or the panades to beat me their house of the pipe shattered...

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №45979
 15.04.2011
by useless_faq

What if the rooster bites a satir, a centaur, or a minotaur?
Neonohoret: The front half of the centaur at full moon will try to fold the rear half.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №45978
 15.04.2011
We also had bugs in the past job ?
Negodyaik@: a week roasted all the team)) and Vanka-odmin, so just whispered in hysteria
Milky: What did they crack?
Milky: Are you crazy at work again?
Unfortunately no. Yes no. He was drunk and did not go to work. On the phone, he gradually explained to the bugs how to put some program. When it came to the crackers, they asked how it was??? Well, he said, as the ducks crawl, so do you... Well, they crawled.
I thought the rite...
Nevertheless, it is likely that Vаньka told me about the drums at the time.

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №45977
 15.04.2011
Woffko Bydlomytsev: I love my hometown of Saratov =) School is such, No99, so all the students have been taught in other schools for a long time, and whether it will be demolished or repaired will finally be... and maybe the casinos will be opened...
Well, in general, on the Day of Astronautics came all kinds of large spacecraft into the city, and this school, located on one of the central streets of the city... covered with a whole brass, on which the facade of the school was painted. The windows there, the door, the rushes of all kinds - you can't distinguish from the real one! This is what I understand – the classic of the Potemkin villages!!! to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №45976
 15.04.2011
If we were to pay taxes, the country would be very rich.

[ + 94 - ] Comment quote №45975
 15.04.2011
Two dogs - Dobermans, apparently a cowboy with a girlfriend.
Since my path was next to the lawn and the masters were not seen nearby, I slowed a little. At this time, a man appears due to a stumbling walk. Goes very decent, but very washed, shaved, etc. And the mood, apparently, not very... Goes down the head.
Dobermans see a tired traveller and a coveted covet is carried on him, and a girlfriend is next to him. The man, without raising his head and without giving any signs of excitement, turns off the trail and wraps on a concrete fence (a height of 1.5 meters). Horses run and splash with saliva and pressed from anger laughing (type:
“I’m going to fuck you...!” They jump to the fence trying to catch a man. The one, still in space, standing on the fence and holding one hand for the concrete column, the second stretches out his pants and above the reference to the mad dogs... First the laughter moves to the highest hysterical notes, then the pause... silence... the dog smells himself, then his cowboy and contemptuously (honest word!) He turns away. The cabbage is worn and wet. The man rushed out of the fence and went on. The highest class!

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №45974
 15.04.2011
Imitating an orgasm is easy. Try to simulate an erection.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №45973
 15.04.2011
zzz: and also we have a dispute about the etymology of the name of candy "humble chamomile". They came to the conclusion that they were named after the transvestite Roman, who behaved decently and did not brave his past.

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №45972
 15.04.2011
I read a story to a 2.5 year old. The word "going" comes with a slide. Tagged with: "Did "Did " The child immediately understood.and :)

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №45971
 15.04.2011
by kocha:
In fact, the fashion of pulling small dogs with you originated in France in the Renaissance era, when no, and sexual revolution yet came and European ladies mastered at least a couple of new poses and learned the delights of oral and anal sex. Some courtesans so loved the fuck in a strong French ass that the muscles of the sphincter due to frequent stimulation ceased to return to their natural tone. In practice, this was expressed in the involuntary gas discharge of pretty and cute girls. And the idea of carrying a small dog with you as a kind of element of the decor of the dress, so that in case of confusion, you can always write down on it. In fact, the cavalers quickly learned that whoever walks with a dog is fucking fucking.

and Manson:
You don’t have a big dog either???

by kocha:
and ROFL

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №45970
 15.04.2011
The grass is green, the sun is shining,
In the yard, a drug addict is sitting.
He pulls two paths into two noses at once.
The grass is glowing, the sun is three.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №45969
 15.04.2011
On a couple, a retired military, we talk about holidays, someone asks a question about how there is in the army with holidays.
Prepod: Well, the holiday diet will give two sweets and two biscuits.
Question from the audience: Are chocolates chocolate?
You want to leave the army without pants!? to

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №45968
 15.04.2011
Spring, precisely spring
1: The air is warm
1: and thick, even on bread pray
2: The patient tried to smash the air on the bread"

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №45967
 15.04.2011
According to the representatives of the center of public relations of the Federal Security Service of the Russian Federation, such popular in Russia Internet services, such as Skype and Gmail, will not be blocked. The COS of the FSB of the Russian Federation said that the ban of these services is not even discussed, as the state does not intend to hinder the development of digital technologies.

C@SEY-G: They broke up anyway... :)

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №45966
 15.04.2011
The anti-Russian conspiracy, of course, exists – the only problem is that it involves the entire adult population of Russia.by Victor Pelevin. Generation P

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №45965
 15.04.2011
He said, “I’ve burned my house today.
She: Why?
He: And I thought I was unstable.

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