bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №45704
 09.04.2011
I am standing at the bus stop today. There is a cafe on the road. There are big letters on the roof of the house. The coffee is called Magnolia. There are schoolgirls nearby. Class of 10-11. One phrase killed the drinker.
You are ppc! What kind of coffee they called! Not Magnolia but Mongolia. A sign for the whole house!

[ + 105 - ] Comment quote №45703
 09.04.2011
xxx (23:40:03 8/04/2011)
I confused two theorems, reduced them to one.

xxx (23:40:06 8/04/2011)
Almost proved it!

xxx (23:40:10 8/04/2011)
Prelude to...El

xxx (23:40:24 8/04/2011)
I myself, honestly, too

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №45702
 09.04.2011
I go to the subway, I see the slogan of beer advertising in large letters: "To be in the crowd, but not to be a crowd", and from the bottom some smart man with a pen signed: "Wodka-to be in shit, but not to be a shit."

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №45701
 09.04.2011
My dad is schizophrenic, but he is good people.

[ + 126 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45700
 09.04.2011
Who talked about flowers?
I am a foreign student, I live only by scholarships and sub-works and for me even 250p is already money.
So, yesterday I went to the store to buy a rose to a girl... Five minutes later I went out there with a rose in a blanket and with the feeling that I was washed; three arrogant bodies that worked there diligently broadened on a bouquet and ascertained that I was not conducting, they struck me as they could and all this with sweet smiles.
A very romantic idea of the flowers - the higher the price, the stronger the feelings... and judging by their sincere enthusiastic whisper, especially from the dumb buffalo, who came there half an hour ago on the "cherochi" and bought 25 roses, although at the same time with difficulty binding four words in a sentence.
I wanted to give girls flowers... instead of romance, divorce and commerce.
I’m sorry, but I think many will agree.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №45699
 09.04.2011
From the social network:

I see links on the forums every day:
"From True Love 7 Years 5 Months..."
"I have been looking at it for 33 years..."
What if everyone started to tell the truth?

"I fattened his brain 22 years and 5 months"
"Suke you when you start bringing money 8 years 4 months 17 days" and
"Suka, I would take you, but I love the cold 4 years 12 days and 5 hours"

[ + 93 - ] Comment quote №45698
 09.04.2011
I am good on Saturdays.
Today is Friday!
This is the stupid hole.

[ + 90 - ] Comment quote №45697
 09.04.2011
and Tanko:
Peter is strange.
The City of Hipsters and Intellectuals
Today the bomz said to another at the wash: "The will not to step!"

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №45696
 09.04.2011
We sit on a pair led by the dean. In the audience there is a small garment, sometimes papers fly and crash into someone's neck, the dean doesn't mind, noise isn't very much. But here the garbage begins to grow, the pad is soft - you can look :)
Dean so quietly: "Well guys, don’t make noise, and then I’ll remove..."(from the audience, type). Everyone ignores the comment.
And then he issued: "With a tight shift, scuco!"
Silence of O

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №45695
 09.04.2011
I read intranet horror stories about killing videos, mp3 files from which people start bloody vomiting and other feces from the same series. Dialogue with Mom:
I: - In short, there is a video, when people look at which they tear their eyes out O_O
Mom (unimaginable indifferential intonation): - Oh, if you find, drop me the link, I will show the guys at work.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №45694
 09.04.2011
Me: Treasure Hunter Darren McCall gathers an archaeological expedition into the jungle, in search of a legendary artifact - a precious knob buried in the cemetery of the ancients. By invading the sacred land, aliens awaken a bloodthirsty creature that has been sleeping in its depths for thousands of years. The monster begins a merciless hunt for people.
to go?

my love: aaaa, I thought it was news)) until I saw the question))) upload

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №45693
 09.04.2011
We talked about children at work.
I: Wolf, you don’t even know what children are.
Wolf: Why can’t I imagine, I even saw them.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №45692
 09.04.2011
If you feel like you want something to eat, this is the first sign that life has succeeded!

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №45691
 09.04.2011
The Secret Pilot
On the weekend, I went with my family to a giant store for the MKAD. They ran for two hours and encountered a large crowd on one of the caravan paths. I climbed and saw: at the center of the events is a chic brunette in a short shirt and a controller in long red nails, and a huge helicopter is flying around her. The diameter of the screw under a meter and the bulbs blink.
There was an advertising stand nearby, say don’t be fools, buy our helicopters there and there.
Apparently there are a lot of beautiful girls in the world, people who know how to virtuously control helicopter models, even more, but when two in one - it really hits the brains, causing you to stop and shake your mouth, admire like a child.
What the beauty just did not do, even on the heads of young children planted a helicopter, it seems to be still in the air, but at the same time already stands on the head of the child, to the indescribable enthusiasm of the very "helicopter platform" and her parents. I would not risk, one inaccurate move and a helicopter could turn into a blender for a meat salad...
The girl was asked about the technical parameters, and whether it was easy to learn to drive so virtuously, she readily replied that it was easy, while the helicopter cut the piruettes high above our heads.
We pleased to roll out for at least half an hour, watching the unrealistic air show of the beauty, suddenly from behind someone hugged me off with a sharp elbow, but immediately with anxiety in the voice apologized... I turn and see a thin acne young man of twenty years. The guy is absolutely sweaty, although pressed out, he did not reduce the tense look from the helicopter, mimic helping the flight, and his hands were nervously ballooned in an open bag hanging on his neck.

There are no professions in the world, but I couldn’t imagine that there was a position – a secret pilot.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №45690
 09.04.2011
President Medvedev has announced that he will personally and unexpectedly check the residential entrances of the houses. He goes with his surroundings to the nearest. There elevators do not work, empty bottles roll around, snacks, pieces of cellophane, in one corner a bunch of shit, in the other - a drunk bomb.
What is this?! The President is upset. What a shame, I
I ask you? Why does a 100 watt lamp burn at the entrance?! to

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №45689
 09.04.2011
News on Novosibirsk website:
Stelmah: “I have not seen a global road destruction”

Top of comments:
1) Buy the glasses.
2) Make the Common Bridge, there through the holes soon will be visible.
3) Street Tank fully justifies its name - you can only travel by tank.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №45688
 09.04.2011
Q: You don’t want to hit me? Suspiciously *
YYY: What about what? 0 - O
XXX: Well... from your feet?

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №45687
 09.04.2011
Yes, it’s fun to watch a man sit next to you at a business meeting, watch, get nervous and can’t do anything.
Would he come nearer to you and put his hand in his trousers?
XHH: Considering that I'm monthly now, I'd scream him)

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №45686
 09.04.2011
The predecessor was attached to philosophy. You know, I write poetry. Let me read from mine. I read a poem about a whore that is dumb. Everyone in the wharf he is waiting for applause, says I didn't understand why you don't bother. We knocked, asking who didn’t like it, one guy just said what he did. He says I read to you a verse of a mentally ill man, you are all lying to me, so you are foolish.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №45685
 09.04.2011
XHH: I just don’t get to crack poppy polyethylene
You are a monster! O_O

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