The evening. I smooked my father’s shirt, shaved my brother’s socks, hanged my underwear, washed dishes, helped my mom with dinner, worked out my desk, put on pastels... Such a strange inspiration comes to me on different days and numbers... But this is a coincidence, these numbers fall on the eve of the exam.

K. K

Alconavt: I want to start a new life, find a wife, stop drinking... where to start?
Sugar: Probably with Nick

I am so psychic today.
I was dragged for a month to every theater, opera and other hernia on which you sleep.
I didn’t want to upset her, so I didn’t say anything.
XHH: And today she says, “Do you know when will you stop driving me through these theaters?” I am sleeping there!"
See also: Fac. I would kill)

I go into the room and my sister is watching porn. When he sees me, the window turns up so quickly :)
I ask her: What are you doing?
She is innocent: listening to music.
Why without sound?
She is even more innocent: her head hurts.

I laughed a long time =)

You don’t have to talk about “before was better.” It was before.
YYY: It was better. And it was.

My wife and I work at neighboring tables. My girlfriend is full, I am thin. Nearby the boss crawls, looking for something on the shelves.
Ivan Ivanovich, what are you looking for?
The boss: No, a little bit less.
I: (I don’t think about it) Then can I?
The boss didn’t even find what to answer.

- So, so: Money for holding the 2014 Olympics and the 2018 World Cup we will receive from MMM-2011...

Sgt. Here are some interesting stories!
Sgt. French diplomat Bernard Bursique at the age of 20 was in Beijing and met opera singer and employee of Chinese intelligence services Shi Pepe. Burzico did not have sex with women before, so Shi managed to pretend to be a woman and even enter into sexual intercourse with Burzico (hiding the genitals, quickly and in the dark). Four years later, Shi presented Burshiko with a supposedly born son. All this led the Chinese authorities to blackmail the diplomat and obtain secret documents from him. Later, Burzico managed to take Shi and his son to France, where they were arrested, and the whole truth was revealed, after which the diplomat tried to commit suicide, but unsuccessfully.
Sgt. Their love relationship lasted for 20 years.
Sgt. The Joker: Crying

The desire to create completely destroys the desire to work.

What to pay attention to when buying a washing machine?
$ting: by breast size and waist volume
$ting: and the jump is about to throw

When I was a teenager and lived with my parents, one day there was a rat in our apartment. She was completely invulnerable to all my attempts to take her away, catch her, or destroy her. After a few days of looking at these futile efforts, my father got involved. He was a military officer and graduated from the Academy.
The General Staff and operations were planned with the appropriate scale. First, he fired from a gun into the plinth, behind which a rat scratched.
The gun was really low-caliber, but we didn’t hunt the cockroach.
I think she began to binge after that, but after a few days resumed her binge. I will not even describe the next three days of the battle – this is a short story, not an epic “War and Peace.” I will only say that at the final stage of the battle we localized the unfortunate rat in the kitchen and took out a bit of ALL the furniture and dishes, leaving only two untouchable refrigerators, under the engine of one of which she was hiding. There was a deep sense in the presence of two shelters – my father was splashing hot water on the engine, and at this time I caught a rat with a clutches while trying to break into the second refrigerator. Somewhere after her five successful breakthroughs, the rat disappeared at all. It seemed absolutely impossible in an empty kitchen, our protection could not be described. Finally, following the method of deduction, I raised my eyes to the ceiling and found her there – she walked around the garden. When I caught her, she painfully bitten my finger through a thick cloth and arranged some kind of fighting with me. I would have drowned her in the toilet without thinking, but my military dad was more humane. He decided to take her to a remote wash with the words "other people will tell us not to appear." Mother echoingly noted that with such kindness all the rats of the area will come to us at least out of curiosity, but the decision of the father was relentless - although a few days ago he almost shot her, now the defenseless rat has obtained obviously the status of a prisoner of war. The father pushed the cloth with the rat into the old tea box, closed the lid tightly and had already gone out to the entrance door, but ran back home for a minute to pick up the cigarettes. When he returned to the doorstep, the tea bar was no longer there – he was whispered. The bitterness of the loss of the tea barrel was softened by a quite predictable picture of further events – a happy thief came home, put the tea barrel on the table, opened the lid, pulled the cloth...

An employee of the tax inspectorate, going with his wife for a costumed evening, dressed up as a vampire: in a black suit, with spikes and throwing in the eyes "blood" on the nails of paper-mashe. When they entered the bar, a familiar bartender, looking around him, asked:
Directly from work?

I have a friend for whom the lower row on the table for vision check is SHB... -7 shorter. So here's the story: We stand like in the feed near the food bar and here it is pierced - "I want a waffle"... Looking through the window, and there are the waffles "Privacy gnom", straight and written "Privacy" with large letters, and "left gnom" small entirely. He knocks at the window and says:
He said: “Hello (only that word he saw in the name of a wafel).”
A: Do we know each other?? to
He said: Give me it!
The Seller: Oh! Oh!? to

Everyone who was next to the lark and heard it just cried.

xxx: Oh, sometimes a remote desk is not enough. Distant working hands are often needed.
Yyy: Sometimes even to stifle a customer.

The repair. My father and I have a huge Soviet TV. Putting him in the snow, the father pleasedly says:
How long have I dreamed of doing it! His mother did not give it because he was a worker.
He is a non-working man. My brother and I had a radio bite 15 years ago. It was terrible to admit immediately.

The acquaintance had the habit of relieving stress by cleaning. Stress is a change. Once I came from work late... While dinner, while there and here... In general, at 11 o’clock the stress did not pass, I decided to change. In the process, he hears a sinister voice: "Larissaaa, go to sleep."" She threw herself onto the couch with fear, shut herself down, and is afraid to shake up. The minute 5 goes by, and again the voice: "Well, what, reassured?" It turned out that the neighbor in the socket was squeezed))))

Allve_bpb: After sex, the girl smiled somewhat tightly...

The Festo:
What is the difference between Matan and Algebra?
and Nekromant:
Like between the uranium rod and the finger battery.

- We have one attraction in the park, I got sick after half a day!
A laurel with a shawma?

Yesterday I reminded my husband: "Have you not forgotten that we are going to the Opera Theater on the 15th with my parents?"
Man: "What are we looking at there?"
I am: "Flying Mouse"
My husband depends...
I: "It’s not about Dracula!!and "
The husband....?
I am "And not about Batman!!and "