The hair "I slept" was very good today.

You are like a giraffe!
WOW: And before you... I don’t even know how Russian Post...
Theme: Scuck

I hired a courier today. Here is his summary:
1st Ability to move quickly around the city: Skills of accelerated transportation in the subway (active and accurate passage through large crowds of people; running (up / down) on the escalator at a speed of 6-7 steps / sec; use of systems that allow to determine the most rational train wagon). Skills of fast walking on asphalted, ground surfaces. Ability to activate running in emergencies and with temporary delays. Advanced terrain orientation skills (use of high-tech GPS navigation systems with current terrain maps, ability to "Sorry, please don’t tell me where %StreetName% is?").
2nd Personal qualities: Rational and logical thinking. Physical and mathematical thinking. There is programming thinking. Responsibility, punctuality and other similar words, the true meaning of which is known to few.
Three Physical qualities: Knowledge and skill of many sports elements of workout movement. Muscle strength, flexibility and so on. of cardiointolerance. In addition to all this, I have a lot of skills and skills: from breeding aquarium shrimp and cooking brownie biscuits to scrubbing and creating websites on the Internet.

Interestingly, the boy is 16 years old. There is something to learn... (c)

AIRAT: In Europe it is really bad. Free medicine, healthy, cheap, high-quality food for the patient, free good education... No natural selection.

Advertising in the warehouse of the transport company:
Dear colleagues! Krasnodar and Ufa are two different cities. You are not even on the way!!! to

I go deeper and deeper into the mysteries of female thinking and the restless esoterics of such a plan. I have two twin girls in my friends. Natural twins, hairstyles are the same, often dress in the same, very cute. So in order to bring them to the extreme stage of rage, you just have to tell them...that they are similar.:D
What a delicious logic for a dull male brain, right? :D

The daughter here (5 years) walks, singing under her nose: "Tili-tili, creatures...." Fuck, fucking how!

Good morning Alexander!

Accounts for paying in shelter.

A little boy played diving, op-pa – and amphora for the first time!

I talked to the provider, long so do the brain to the girl, after which she says "I will switch you right away" and switch to the dialap modem. Fuck, no one has sent me so much.

How is sodium?
WOW: I don’t know how sodium, but zinc is normal.
Shut up, fuck up, fuck up!

xxx: I think that making the slogan of our store "every creature by pair" was not a very successful idea.
What is the store?
The women’s shoes.
by O_O

xxx: people trying to climb into the _domain_ with the approach "I just ask" cause me some trembling.

My father told me after a trip to Toulouse. I went to the local store and bought us, of course, sausages. The seller asks:
The strawberries are fresh?
The third day of the couple.
He bought without thinking.

xxx: In order to increase the authority of Skolkovo, it is urgently necessary to rename the NII ČAVO. Then they will believe him.

You know, it’s a little sluggish, reading about Harry Potter and the Dark Lord at noon, and hearing on the radio in the morning “In England there are riots... The police don’t control the situation...”.

Why did you argue?
YYY: Because he was dying!
XXX: What more specifically?? to
YYY: I don’t remember...

Being popular with fools is commercially more profitable. Idiots are much more.

Joseph of Egypt

Officer life, 75 km away from the nearest civilization, was not very diverse. Service, hunting, fishing, gathering (fungi, berries), confined by a permanent bookkeeping, and of course (where to go from it) sexual life. And the latter, unlike everything else, was divided into categories. The first is the death of his wife. The second is the mutilation of wives that do not belong to you.
So, someone N lived in the town and periodically, when possible, he beat his wife M, and very successfully. But once he had a misfortune, from which he honored to escape.
Just then N rested after duty, and M left for those positions. There is no better time to break up and invent it. So it happened, but here, like in a shit joke, a trouble happened, the husband knocked on the door. They sent him for some iron, and he also decided to eat. What to do?
The exit was found immediately, a coat on the naked body and on the balcony, and already from it to the balcony of the neighbors, well they were located at the distance of the extended arm. In that apartment, it happened that there was nobody but a five-year-old child, who stood up in a stupor when he saw that from the balcony into the apartment comes a broken uncle, barefoot and in a coat.
Uncle, who are you? The child asked.
and Tss. I am a guerrilla, a real man, from the forest, away from the enemy.
Does your dad have a shirt, pants and shoes for time? I as
I’ll do it, I’ll bring it tonight.
There will always be a partisan.
He dressed up and went home happy.
Imagine the boy’s father’s reaction when he came home for lunch and heard that an hour ago a partisan came to them from the woods and took his pants, shirt and shoes. These objects disappeared from the apartment. For a long time he sought from his son, where the villain hid his things, and maybe even worse, burned it on the balcony. But he received only one answer, the guerrilla came from the balcony, took everything and promised to give. Threats with belts did not help. Dad had already said goodbye to things, when in the evening, to his surprising surprise, a bell came out, and on the threshold stood N, holding in his hands all the causes. “I borrowed it here. thank you. I come back. “Don’t tell anyone,” he said.
– Oh, he’s a partisan, – Dad almost stumbled in the hallway.
Half of laughter.
Okay, I will not tell anyone.
Since then, the proud nickname "Partisan" has been attached to N in part.

Lucia, where were you last night?
Walked around the area.
He is unfortunate!
What a prosperous one! Two iPhones and a golden chain.