Department of 1 pair.
Prepod: "Smirnov, are you sleeping there?"
Student: "No, I took a convenient position to gain knowledge"

PrincessFFka, the horses are over, the deer will do?

A recent diplomatic scandal.
American diplomats were very clever: "...Medvedev plays the role of Robin under Putin - Batman..."
Immediately it seems like these two in idiotic costumes run on the roofs of night Moscow, and in the sky a huge crab is illuminated by the spotlight.

<Y>:I just finished listening to Medvedev’s seventy-five-minute speech.
Ostap Bender gathering in Stargard members of the "Oral and Sword Union" also started with the phrase - Our main task is to take care of children

Black and smooth
Lovely cat
with graceful behavior
With a strong tail.
Stir on a cold floor.
On the floor he wipes his body.
The dirt on the wool is gathering...
His favorite help.

Wonderful cat, clean and sweet
Going to the owner with his feet.
Not for fun,
Serious cat
is guarding
He serves the family :3

xxx: from Yandex: "What to check out the smoker. I did not wait long. Because he was sure he wasn’t running. I pulled him out. Well, for a bit of persuasion, the finger moved there... The pain did not come immediately."
yyy: fucking, the phrase "The pain did not come right away" needs to be preserved for descendants

As you meet the New Year, so you will spend it.

When I work as a designer, I get a letter from a client:
>I liked your idea with the Negro. Can the Negro be removed?

Alice: I wake up in the morning, all offended by him since the evening, and I can’t remember what I’ve been offended by.

Q> So what is there on the earth’s disk?
NN> bysectorp, clear thing...

Probably if there were strip clubs in the Soviet Union, they would be called "sic" =)
Arindial

My mom told me in the kitchen:
Q. What kind of son are you? How is it possible?! To whom did you go, your mother?and "
Suddenly she silenced and after a moment thoughtfully said:
"This is what, what is me?and "
The shameful and dark atmosphere drowned in my laughter.

Facebook status of a friend:

I cooked a delicious snack for breakfast. A special package for boys living alone. He got a clean plate and scissors, along with praising himself for washing dishes ("What a nice!").

He poured water, carefully cut the bag, quickly poured the bag into the garbage can, put the bag in a plate. I thought, very much praised myself a few more times ("what @$$children!!And I went hungry to work.

M1 is listening.
M2 is ALE.
M1 is yes.
M2 and Hello. Tell me where I got. I was just called from your number a few times.
M1 - In the prosecutor's office of the region.
M2 – A – I apologize.
(Some of the short slides...)

You went to the bank?
YYY: No
You should have gone out yesterday!!! to
YYY: I can go yesterday...give me a time car)
The xxx:
You need a puzzle machine, not a time machine.
YYY: I have a car that gives me puzzles, it will kill me.

I went fucking. Children raise their fathers’ ratings on torrents.

Hmmm... Judging by the number of tree needles in the entrance, someone from the neighborhood decided to throw out the tree)))

xxx: and the code will come the new generation'
YYY:When no one remembers who Sailor Moon and the home drive phone

A friend and a girl recently started renting an apartment. So the neighbor stuck to them during the day and told them to fuck quietly, or he has a 16-year-old child.

A friend of mine from Rhodes called me. She has a friend working there. During the conversation, I decide to joke and ask:
- Here offer the services of experienced deflorator, inexpensive. You do not need?
She asks: What is it? I say, you see, it’s like a female part.
I put a phone. Call in 30 minutes. Through the laughter, I say that I am a cattle, a little and a first-sex bastard.
Then they explain. As it turned out, the lady was not to the extent curious and asked a question to all present. The department is murderous, there is another specificity, therefore no one knew the meaning of the term, but they began to draw references with enthusiasm. The question was: The deflorator is offered here - shouldn't it? My colleagues were also ignorant. The judge’s phone did not answer.
They ran away. Everybody asked, nobody knows. Well, I would be with him, but then the medical expert called and clarified the situation. The one to whom they explained for two minutes could say nothing and ran under the table. Then, as he explained through tears, all the others who were in the office were roaring.
and further. All those who were asked also received valuable information, and went to share knowledge. Given that the girl in the office was alone, and the rest were not girls at all, the replicas of the incoming were addressed to her type: and this is what you need a deflorator? After the third or fourth they called me and expressed their honest opinion about your sublime servant.