bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 70 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №40641
 23.12.2010
Next time you want to have sex with your wife, cut off the microphone.
2) The fucking
2) Are you jealous?
1) What is it? Three minutes?
2) Do not tell anyone.
1) of course :)

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №40640
 23.12.2010
From the ASK:
XXX: Throw, I got the SMS. < scream, dear, again you go to my pocket and take out all the money, I will drive out of the house. Called a taxi, arrived but no money.Gave a wedding ring, you will buy back naturally from a taxi driver and then - sorry I was wrong with the number.
XXX: This is the case.

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №40639
 22.12.2010
I am Santa. Ask your questions.
“In 1981, I ordered a railway, and I got a brother, how can you explain it?

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №40638
 22.12.2010
My friend once told me how, at the age of eighteen, his older sister’s husband instructed him:

- You, Knee, don't worry that the girls don't give, it's not the girls you give. I refused, and go to the next. I am generally, if on the first date I did not get sex, so on the second I did not invite, it hurts.

“And then I thought very much about the moral appearance of my older sister...” added Kolka sadly.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №40637
 22.12.2010
by JJ

I torch in the car service and observe how the master trickster Andrei interrupts his manipulations and gets a cellphone out of his fuzzy pocket. Communication is very bad, even noise, to talk to him is bad, but the interlocutor does not lag behind and, apparently, desires consultation on the acquisition of some kind of domestic open assembly. Andrei spoke to the phone:
Do not take. Remember, everything gathered in the territory of the Russian Federation is sludge. and? The Chlam! What? Fuck you fucking! The Temple!! I pass on the letters: hunja, lie, actai, mudyatina. So far, I am busy!

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №40636
 22.12.2010
I remember when another 6 part of Harry Potter was rotated, we go with a friend from the cinema, we discuss the movie.A few Tajiks in orange costumes and each in their hands on a butt go to the meeting.A friend looks at them and then issues:
Was this the national team of Tajikistan?

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №40635
 22.12.2010
Fuck, I thought for a long time: why has my cat recently become so loving, comes on his arms and begins to climb, rubs on my face? And then it came: this shit about my beard dumb chesting out the wool that licked out!!! to

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №40634
 22.12.2010
Conrad is a shit. I sneaked so. He put coffee in his mouth and shuddered. I managed to understand what was going on and squeezed my mouth, my nose squeeze sprinkled the claw with a squeeze, and coffee tears flowed from my eyes =)

[ + 108 - ] Comment quote №40633
 22.12.2010
Physical :
First and second, fuck it up.

The first!
The second!
The fucking!

The first!
The second!
The fucking...

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №40632
 22.12.2010
At about 18.40 they stood at the Fountain with their family, near Microbit. On the far side came a cavalcade with flashes, then the second. The daughter asked, "Daddy, what are so many militias?" and I said, "They are all a couple of uncles." and the daughter opened her eyes and asked, "Why did they do so that so many militias were with them?So, the child will not be fooled.

[ + 60 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №40631
 22.12.2010
I went with the ambulance...
What? why?
The seller asked how much the shirt protector gives.

[ + 103 - ] Comment quote №40630
 22.12.2010
I am standing after work, a lot of people, cold. A long-awaited bus arrives and the whole crowd that stood on it immediately broke into it. I realized that I didn’t get in and I stood, watching what was happening. People barely pack up in it, and two guys stand beside me, laughing and one of them says to the other:
This is how the files are stored.)

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №40629
 22.12.2010
Woody came into the kitchen. A button on the tea. The tea does not work. This is the breakout! The store on the first floor, ran away and bought a new tea. And while Vova drank coffee from the new tea, he realized that the old probably worked too. He was not just standing on the roof, but next to him.

[ + 104 - ] Comment quote №40628
 22.12.2010
xxx: Once, when I was changing bed clothes, I was looking for a rest for a long time.
xxx: after a while I took out some. look white, and then okay
xxx:bed.truth was a bit strange, and in size and in fact
At night two I slept, the next day my mom goes into the room, on her face I read that I did something wrong.
After a couple of minutes of silence: "You, stupid, are sleeping on the New Year’s Sketch?!?and "

[ + 64 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №40627
 22.12.2010
Sex is a male word, love is a female word. Damn, it’s not all that simple...
Man’s mind, stupidity is female. Somehow it is not easy all this.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №40626
 22.12.2010
Dialogue with a friend:
Alice, we went to buy a tree tonight!
- Let's get better... in general I would prefer to buy a pine) A short version of the phrase somehow sounded ambiguous))))

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №40625
 22.12.2010
I think the "Discordants" should have gone to the end long ago and started calling themselves "Eoaia".

[ + 83 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №40624
 22.12.2010
xxx Read the news: "Three giant spacecraft are moving to Earth"
YYY is. It is Flying May!! The new calendar will take place until the year 4024, with the words "Pardon, guys, we have forgotten about you.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №40623
 22.12.2010
I started dating a girl. The next day he sends me spam in the spirit of "... today is the day of honesty... Ask me the most exciting question and I will answer it honestly..."
Well I asked "Ivan Cousin has a big corn?and "
She didn’t talk to me for a week.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №40622
 22.12.2010
May the Force be with us!
YYY: and the brain

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