Yesterday I sat in the dining room, the company is not large, has a dining room for a couple of dozen seats. I curl in the pasta in the fleet, I think about the algorithm for the program. And next to a few female individuals, discussing something alive.

At the end of my ear I listened to the conversation of a coloured blonde.

My husband is an idiot. I kissed Karen from logistics at the corporation, then went to him to listen to music. I returned home in the morning. The husband two weeks of the scene of jealousy arranged, and yesterday the bat - filed for divorce. Not an idiot?

And the ladies around them say, “Well, yes, well.”

And I totally agree with them. What fucking two weeks to wait? ; )

I have one speech defect - I am mapy, I do not pronounce the letter "R". I can’t break, for example. This did not hinder life, but almost all of my girls tried this feature of me and tried to cure the illness. There were various techniques of logopedic sciences, usually invented by them themselves. The most common is “Say Rrrrrrrrrrrr”. But I think they just wanted to crack.

But I didn’t want to give them such a simple and unfortunate reason to crack, so the classes were short, difficult and often ended in a small such a quarrel.

I was 24 and I lived with my parents again. And here’s the picture, we were sitting with my mom in the kitchen and something overwhelmed me to complain to her, yet how many years she raised me, who else could know me better than she?

- Imagine, my girls are constantly trying to teach me to speak the letter "R", such a feeling that they are just ashamed of the card guy. But what is so terrible about cartography? This is not ugliness of anything.

Mom turned to me, looked at me very thoughtfully and asked a question that gave me more questions than answers in this life.

What do you do, carpenter?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx pft is.
I met a beautiful lady from Latin America. I took care of her for almost a month, in general, she finally agreed to the number, went to her. In general, I put my clothes down, I embrace her, I look in her green eyes, I admire her look on the Spanish curve. She smiles and pulls the lens out of my eye. He says, "Sorry, sweet, I have a vision -6, I thought once I still wear lenses, although I change the color to an exotic one."
I'm not embarrassed, I'm continuing on her beautiful forms. She breathes and sadly shakes her head, showing scars under her chest. I said, after my stomach cut off (!Lost almost 50 kilos!The breasts hanged like the ears of a spaniel, had to be inserted.
I had my mouth opened to say that it was all the little things, and she hugged me behind the neck and continued to the ear: "I was blown up because of the hormones, after surgery... by changing gender." I woke up like a shock, found myself in the neighboring room behind a twisted table, stretching my pants and grieving heavily with the mat.
Ohhhh: and she’s running, and following me like "what, muchacho, has I already loved? What are you unstable men!"
xxx: already in the door I remembered a pack of pads in the bathroom, tampons in her bag, children’s photos on the wall, etc. and returned.
xxxh: she is such "oh, at last, at least one attentive hit... Young boy, stay".
But before her next menstrual period, we had a purely platonic relationship.

Do not give a woman as much as she looks.

Otherwise, she will not give you.

Your and Retrograde Amnesia

Victor Semenovich is a tall, still strong, seventy-year-old old man, for four months as he buried his wife and learned to live alone. It felt bad, as if he had never lived without her. He often began to talk to himself to get valuable advice on household management.

But Victor Semonych was not worried about this so far, because in his profession he is a psychiatrist and used to keeping everything under control. Stress does not happen to people, so to break a couple of words with a smart person is still within the norm.

Oh, he would have had children with grandchildren, but the children did not get, it didn’t work.

One Sunday morning, the phone ringed and pulled Victor Semonych out of the warm bath. Victor Semonych did not expect anything good from this, he has not expected anything good from life for four months, and in his predictions he has never been wrong.

The Uzbek courtman called and told something in Uzbek-Russian.

It was very strange and disturbing, because Victor Semonych did not give his numbers to any courtiers, he did not even know their names, he just greeted, passing by.

The old man listened to the meaning and hardly found out that the courtier found some lost "white dog", saw the phone number on the necklace and called.

In a word, they are waiting below at the entrance. The main strange thing was that Victor Semenovich had nothing like the "white dog" has never been and can not be, he was generally an opponent of the animals in the house.

But the old man did not argue, because without gesture, you will not argue with the Uzbek especially.
Despite throwing his coat over his pyjamas, he put a feather pen into his pocket for self-defense, and went out of the entrance.

At the threshold smokers in orange vests smoked, and in their legs trembled a small, wet from rain, a white bullterrier and looked at the sides with caution.

But as soon as the dog noticed Victor Semenovich, he stopped trembling, loudly stumbled and rushed to the old man, as the drowning rushes to the rescue circle. The puppy jumped around the affected Victor Semenovich, surely trying to jump to him on the fingers. Eventually, the dog succeeded.
The courtiers smiled and said, "I recognized the master, Maldives," they picked up their blades with butterflies, said goodbye and left, and the old man with a flattered face, remained standing under the frozen rain and with a strange loving puppy in his arms. On the necklace was indeed a copper plate with the engraving of the phone number and the name: "Viktor Semenovich"

What to do? and? Where is him? Here, the fox, squeezed his new coat.
- Well, in theory, a dog, although the most complete anti-health, but for a person in your position, a useful thing, especially, this dog immediately loved you as a son. Bring it home soon, or lie down here after bathing.
No, and there is nothing to think about, you need to take it somewhere urgently.
Where are you going to be in your pyjamas and home shoes? On the necklace is the phone and the name of the owner. Their name.
Yes, but who’s that bad joke?
What is humor?
- Well, anyway, it is necessary: to walk, castrate, tie, unbind, feed, treat, then these rabies vaccines, plus the nails cut every month. Will you deal with all this?
- You have two higher education, nothing, you will manage, but daily walks in the fresh air will not hurt you, especially since nails are, like cats.
No stupid, not even funny. You attend lectures almost every day. How will you leave him at home? In general, do you need to surrender it to a dog pet, shelter, cattle base, or what they call it?
The Scotch base? Well well well. Look the truth in the eyes. And suddenly it's your dog, you won it, lost it and so upset that you wiped out these events from your memory? In your state, this is possible, not in vain here is a sign. Can you throw it out so easily? Think, old idiot, what would it be like for this dog, who, by the way, knows and loves you, to be in an incomprehensible place, among completely strange people? If you have forgotten the name, call for Vasya and don’t be upset, then you’ll remember. No one has ever died of Korsakov syndrome. Take yourself in your arms, go home, drink vitamins and calm down.

A year later, the professor broke. Time and daily walks in the desert did their job. Vasya turned into a giant white fat sable-toothed horse, but with a very good temper. Victor Semenovich comes with him to work every day, and already at the institute he releases a basket for papers. A dog sits on a chair all day and smiles to anyone who tastes a cake.

One day, a large group of students entered the professor's office, they, squeezing their heads, shrugged, grabbed Vasa's ear, and then confessed that they wanted the best and apologized for the hat. There was no amnesia - it was they who bought Vasa in an elite pet shop, ordered a collar plate, spoke to the courtiers, but, most importantly, before the birth of the puppy, stole the old cap of Victor Semenovich at the department. On this very cap, the mother gave birth and fed Vasa, so he loved his master so much before their first, historic meeting at the entrance.

Imagine a restaurant where neither the chef, nor the technician, nor the director themselves eat. They also demonstratively go to another restaurant, and the children are sent there. was presented? If you know that, would you go to this restaurant? And now think about Russian healthcare, education and public transportation.

I stop at the entrance to get the keys out of the bag. Suits a fuzzy-known grandmother, a neighbor in the house, starts a conversation about the quarter (we were decently then thrown under the sauce of the home counter), complains that there is not enough money. She has her own pension, and her daughter is a widow with two children, turning as much as she can, but it is still hard. And the son-in-law died 2 years ago, he was good, kind, responsible, loved children, cared very much about the family.
And what happened, I ask with compassion, why did he die?
- Yes, drunk in the car was driving and crashed - the grandmother replies sadly.
Beautiful was the son-in-law, caring for the family and responsible, most importantly.

Are you there in Russia feeding something that you are so aggressive? By the way, fathers sometimes also take their children on their car sticker. And if you only have mothers with children who are nursing, it is not surprising that they are shrinking and the children are shrinking.

I wonder, here the trolls gathered, or really half the people do not think of something out of the row to throw the animal out on the street? And the most fun begins when the dog adapts to the street, clings to some sword, which will pose a threat to people. Doghants will appear, or just locals will start poisoning these dogs. And these same people, who yesterday threw the dog out on the street, will roar in the whole throat, ah what foods, poor dogs are killing...

The only thing that is nasty in a male figure is directly MPH. Everything else is absolutely normal: even the ankles, even short shorts, even the naked torso in general. Women have bigger taboo areas. But before children, especially their own, there is no taboo at all. If a father goes before a brother-in-law older than twelve without cowards - it is a reason to worry, and everything else is the nonsense of smoked hanjas.

The child car

Those who complain, as I look at it, do not know at all why these labels. They are not for you to drive for such a car, mother "ovule", who dared to go out on the public road. They are designed so that in the event of an accident, rescuers know that you must first provide help to the defenseless creature, which may be in critical condition, while adults can get rid of a pair of bleachs. Isn’t it funny to talk about anything?

Fuck the trainees.
In the company where I worked for a long time, the trainees were very loved. But, first, they were very tough and selected in several stages. And, secondly, they were thrown down on a non-urgent, tiny, mutant job, which steals time from truly qualified professionals. And the world will not collapse if the trainer sets up. We, the trainees, checked the sites at the time the links were beat, chased them through different browsers and gadgets to understand what was floating at the same time. Salesmen helped senior colleagues to update the presentations, lawyer assistants further checked the details of the contractors, all kinds of registers of contracts were put in order. And everyone was happy. Gradually, more interesting and responsible tasks were given, the best workers were taken to the staff, or even promoted over time. Just at some point in life, the firms tried, developed, and then arranged this whole system so that it worked as everyone would like. They say it took some effort and time, but it paid off 100%.

I am standing at a stop with an elderly woman. The bus arrives. The woman asks, “Is this a bus for the spirits factory?” I said “Yes.” Then he asks the conductor, “Is this a bus for the spiral factory?” Conductor “No” The woman goes out. I told her in the race "The conductor was wrong, he was in the spirit factory" (really wrong). The woman: “I don’t need to go there.”

I recently had to spend a couple of days on a business trip with a colleague.

Quiet, stupid, 59 years old, has not been drinking for a very long time and has not smoked for a long time, knows his business well.

But, let’s say, I am not silent.

And it slipped on the first day that "with his" he has lived for a long time.

He had three marriages and three divorces.

Is this now the fourth? Or how?

and no. The Third.

Three divorces...

and yes. I divorced her.

In what year?

in the year 2009.

Which one lived with her?

Since 1995.

How many years have you been married? (The conversation is so hasty, lazy, we go in the car)

One year.

...? ? to ? to How is it?

Well yes yes. She lived in civil marriage for 13 years. She tells me, let’s officialize our relationship. You can understand that, grandmother. It was written, fucking. A year later, they divorced from Herram. And in complete harmony we continue to live on – eight years after the divorce...It was the most terrible year in my life!

In the subway in front of me, a student instead of one token, the machine poured out the entire stock, three kilograms. “Jackpot!” his comrades commented with a joyful cry on the entire station. What is typical, go give it back to the box.
YYY: By habit, go exchange chips for money.

Make a shame, scratch, exhibit yourself as a victim. The classic!

I am on a narrow path. company of young men. I say, young people, you can pass. Yes, go on, of course we split up.
I drive a wheelchair along a narrow path. company of young men. I say, young people, you can pass. A couple of men despised, silently separated.
I walk with a child’s wheelchair and a child’s hand on a narrow path. company of young men. I say, young people, you can pass. You split up, and the echoed voice - of course, you are the mother, you need it.
In the trolley bus on the back seat is a man, aged 30-40, decent, calm. Suddenly, he becomes pale and begins to sit on the floor. People are sitting, sitting. Oh yeah oh yeah.
In the bus on the middle floor by the window stands a lady with a boy of five years. Apparently Mom. Nice and calm. A couple are standing, looking out the window, sometimes negotiating. And suddenly she becomes pale, the eyes are glassy, the hands crampfully compress the arms. The conductor notices, supports her with her hand, asks the guys sitting next to her - sit her. And in response, let him ride a taxi with his puppy, we are not obliged.
There are no more mothers, there are only eaters.

to this:
>>Just as inappropriate are house swimming and shorts on the beach. And yes, naked ankle and male ankles are also inappropriate. It is a pity that people have begun to forget about the rules of decency.>>>

seriously? You can still agree with the inappropriacy of cowards on the beach, although the degree of nudity for cowards and swimmers is the same. But here the inappropriacy of something there at home breaks the brains. Home to Karl! Since when has your home become a public place? Living in the municipality is another matter. But even there is a common territory, and there is your room where cowards are very even appropriate. Going home in underwear is the norm, if you do not have guests or other strangers. Sexual organs are closed, what else do I need?

>Then it is not possible to count that there are no employees. Employment of professionals. Are they too few, do you lack them? Where do they come from?

What does it mean from where? In fact, they have to be. Right in cabbage, straight with experience and gift for lifelong slavery. As if you live in a different reality.

The authorities hide

In the name of justice, so that you will always be answered...

>> And comparing radio shows with books is nonsense at all. I think you will understand why.

"Then Pototsky invented a new trick. He walked through the monastery. I watched another group next to the grave. Waiting for the end of the excursion. He responded to the old man and whispered, “Andr well! Between us! Gather 30 copies. I will show you the true tomb of Pushkin, which the Bolsheviks hide from the people!”
Then he took the group into the woods and showed the guests an invisible hill. Sometimes a tourist asks:
Why do they hide the grave?
Why Why? Sardinia smiled sardonically. You are interested – why? Comrades, the citizen is interested – why?
“Oh, yes, I understand, I understand,” the tourist licked..."