bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №33398
 23.07.2010
I watched a funny scene. He drove from the airport of Barcelona to his Palau and accidentally instead of the highway C-32, which goes along the coast, he drove on the C-33 - it goes to the mountains. Well, left and left, not scary - there you could get to the turn on Mataro and return to the S-32.

And on the S-33, unlike the S-32, a slightly different payment system was adopted. There as in parking: when you enter a paid zone, at a special point you press a button, you get a cardboard ticket. When you go out or come somewhere, you put a cardboard ticket in the machine, the amount of payment is charged and you pay as conveniently - in cash, with a card. The system, in general, is understandable and something is difficult to confuse there: when entering the machine one healthy button, and until you take the ticket, the slugbaum will not open.

I go to the cleaning points. In front of me a blonde on a cool Mercedes cabriolet. She stops in front of the machine and falls into a stupor. The blonde expects there to be an alkaline where to put a card of paprika. But there are no algae. There is a button. According to the idea, if a button, then it needs to be pressed. However, pressing is scary, or suddenly something will explode.
The blonde is afraid. I and three or four other cars are standing behind and mindfully trying to encourage her.

Finally, the blonde decides and presses the button. The card goes out.
The blonde cries out of horror because the card came out very unexpectedly and could get in the eye. But the card does not make any attempts to attack her, so the blonde calms and starts sharply. Not taking the card. Because the daddy told her that no checks needed to be collected. This is a check, a paper.

Shlagbaum does not open. The blonde brakes in front of him and falls into a stupor. She pressed the button. The shell had to be opened. He did not open. So something broke. Here is misfortune.

The blonde is sad. From the accumulated cars in different languages, drivers and drivers say: "Take the paper, fool!" The blonde does not react to this - to see, does not know any foreign languages. Or just not paying attention to the wicked people who so disgustingly chew on the cracks and wreaths. She is sad and missing her father.

Finally, one of the employees of the terminal draws attention to this mess.
He goes to the machine, gets a card and tries to give it to a blonde.
However, when the card was pulled out, the shlagbaum, of course, opened.
The blonde turned her head to us, showed a “fax” with her middle finger and striked the gas sharply. Mercedes escaped in the blue.

I really wanted to go after her and watch a circus with horses at the congress, where she could not even pay without a card, but had to turn to the sea. Other drivers have it.

(c) www.exler.ru

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №33397
 23.07.2010
"Collapse" is the perfect synonym of the word "p****c", and sounds very impressive and beautiful: "transport collapse on the Leningrad Highway".

[ + 67 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №33396
 23.07.2010
Pipe of Leah! We have a new sitcom!! I haven't seen it yet and the programmers are already scared and say the end is near!!! to
I was in the server after him. He put up the cleaning, you put it on!! Everything left after Dimich was loaded in the boxes and at the entrance stands!! New keys and mouse and a lot of hernia!!! Supply for flashes and discs and every hernia!!!!! to
What fucking shit did you get there? OOO
HH: I don’t know!! programmers say that he even cleaned the old keys and put them in the closet type suddenly who needs to!!! The fucking short!! There are some wipes and technical alcohol to clean up!!! to
WOW: Have you seen him?
Not yet, but it will come soon. The programmers are already nervously negotiating something and they say the network will definitely fall constantly!!! and the bushes quiet like tanks and happy type finally found a normal sysadmin!!!! I am scared!
Write off when he comes. I am scared of you too.
......
The fucking Leah. came such a body with a toolbox and loaded into the server. He has been there for half a day. The bugs are happy, the programmers in shock, everything works like a clock.
WOW : and?
WOW: What is there?
HH: I do not know. It is grandma. I saw Sissy.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №33395
 23.07.2010
ProF: A laptop is when the lights are turned off, and your neighbors with a flash drive come to watch a movie))

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №33394
 23.07.2010
In the store yesterday in front of me a girl(s) 4-5 years old with my mother(s) stood in line in front of the box office:
Q: Hey, buy this Zephyr! Well buy it!! to
I’m tired of you... if we buy a zephyr now, I won’t buy you a dog anymore.
D: (3 seconds of thought) Let’s get a zipper...

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №33393
 23.07.2010
by NightIxIFire:
It was the apogee of everything. In principle, I can’t be surprised by the Uzer+Comp connection.

by NightIxIFire:
I got a call from a local provider!!! They complained that they didn’t have the internet and asked to set up!!! to

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №33392
 23.07.2010
Vladusik_spb: Do you sit down before you leave? You left when.
Narrator: I didn’t go to work. I decided to call for rain! All morning we danced the rain!
Vladusik_spb: Where did you go?
Do you know many ways to call for rain? I am the only one who works 100%.
Vladusik_spb: What did you wash the car???? to
Narrative of Bingo!! to

[ + 49 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №33391
 23.07.2010
AleZ: While in the village, I learned all the mistakes of ICQ connection

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №33390
 23.07.2010
XXX is
I was on a tour with some Chinese. I’m wearing a red shirt and a guide too. I don’t think it’s that, I’m turning around—the Chinese sail behind me in the caravan, and the tour guide runs behind me and begs to come back...

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №33389
 23.07.2010
What language did you learn at school?
Linguaman by Pascal :(

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №33388
 23.07.2010
Where is this miracle?
YYY: Knows only the Kulluh
Is Google a competitor to Google?
Tagged: Oga
XXX: Whoolhu
YYYYYYYYYYYY
XXX: The Results
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
YYY: Unfortunately, KTUlhu did not give results
YYYYYYYYY - translator
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
XXX: News of Kentucky
yyy: "search at the bottom of the ocean", "I am not lucky!"
xxx to))

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №33387
 23.07.2010
Phantom
When are you sleeping?

Sancho
No, that I’m sleeping is a myth that people invented to be less afraid of me.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №33386
 23.07.2010
Paul is
I leave at 3

Hope is
With salad? I wipe my pencil

Paul is
Ups

Hope is
I am so happy!! Mrs. Salo, am I asking you?! to

Hope is
You ate him...

Hope is
I wore it all night, I knew it.

Paul is
I will tell you how delicious it was.

Paul is
It is as if you are eating it yourself.

Hope is
I'll make you a print of inite colorful, about how sex is fun to do

Hope is
You will read directly and as if you are doing it yourself.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №33385
 23.07.2010
I work as a call center operator.
ABB – I don’t have the internet.
Tell the modem which brand you have.
ABB - I have a laptop
I - I understand, find a box with light bulbs connected to the telephone line, on it the inscriptions should be type D-Link, Tp-Link. have found?
ABB – Yes
I am what is written on it
Windows 7 Home Basic

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №33384
 23.07.2010
You won't believe, I even cleaned up in the room!
YYY: Oh, did you move the socks from the passage to the corner?

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №33383
 23.07.2010
I will not sit in a car with you anymore.
Who taught you to ride?
by Papi...
Q: Is he a rider?
Worse than a pilot.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №33382
 23.07.2010
Rin: Spam from the heat also goes crazy
AnotherN: Do you offer vibrators in the heart again? and :)
Rin is hm. And even worse
Rin: Andrusha >Py6JIeBbIu< Naumchev wrote
Today at 20:06
Come here!! I will only have a drop of Chanel.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №33381
 23.07.2010
Vincent (05:45:05 22/07/2010)
<...>
We worship us.
Vincent (05:45:17 22/07/2010)
by Fuck! Not an anus but an us! O_O
Vincent (05:45:49 22/07/2010)
This is my corporate punishment XD

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №33380
 23.07.2010
prikolist=): I realized here how lohaned on the last date with Vicka))
We stand, we embrace
Tagged: more in detail
Pricelist = )
You will smell pleasant.
I: You too
She : What?
I: washing powder
I said this in full seriousness.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №33379
 23.07.2010
Sasha Samoylova
You are scared in the area.
Especially at night.

XenoMorph
and bougie)))

XenoMorph
Well, there are such idiots there are enough (but such cases are rare)

Sasha Samoylova
You will agree now.

XenoMorph
In the sense? What did you not like?

Sasha Samoylova
in direct
What you wrote above.

XenoMorph
What did I say to you that you didn’t like?

Sasha Samoylova
Did you not understand?

XenoMorph
No is!

Sasha Samoylova
You called me a buggy.

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