bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №32398
 02.07.2010
* Gal saw today in the store with all kinds of chemicals a container on which the inscription "Gala cleaning powder" was painted.
Gal in horror eaten from there

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №32397
 02.07.2010
I lie on the couch, mother behind the comp, I dictate to her what to answer:
M: Some %name_contact% tells you that Linux is chewing.
I: Write "GTTF"
M: He asks "What?"
I: Write the PNG
m: he writes "AFC"
Let me write lol.
Damn you, the internet generation.
and leaves
(C) 19N4T0V

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №32396
 02.07.2010
Do you know about chatroulette?
TeMHuK: type where are webcams and random interlocutors?
Hooper: Well...
hooper: so there the problem appeared - people hang their genitals in front of the camera and click "find the interlocutor"
Tagged with: ghee
Hooper: In short, they write a program that recognizes a member in front of the camera
It’s time to shave your beard and shorten your nose XDDD

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №32395
 02.07.2010
Cut the cat's stomach with the key from a recently purchased apartment.
The cat is pleased.
I finally bought a cat scratch for the stomach.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №32394
 02.07.2010
I work in the loss settlement department of the insurance company. The customer of the clock calls today at 9 in the morning, tells us that the fire in the village happened, they should send an expert to inspect the affected house. I agreed with them for an hour. An expert about 12 reports that he does not have time to go to the village, I call a client to reschedule for Monday. I'm sorry, ohahahaha, I'm sorry, I'm saying goodbye, I'm going to put the phone and here the client gives out.
Can the house be removed?

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №32393
 02.07.2010
<xxx> oh fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking
<yyy> Annu tears from the system

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №32392
 02.07.2010
Discussion of the city of Slavutich, in which the whole city lives at the expense of the nuclear power plant.
Shit, there are more cocktails, sports clubs, swimming pools and various entertainment than in Kiev. Wages are twice the average in the country. Around the forest. The population is only 20,000. They are complaining?
With this population, the girls are the same :)
Zzz: and the forest around.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №32391
 02.07.2010
xxx: by the way, my computer jealousy to other things started
YYY: How is it? O_O
I just go out into another room, it cuts off.
xxx: and I progu setup, now 95%, I am afraid to leave... and in sorting wantцца
YYYYYYY: =
Okay, in 2 minutes it won't turn off, I'm a moment
xxx is out of chat.
xxx is in chat.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №32390
 02.07.2010
In the morning I downloaded the necessary document, printed to our employee (at the age, it does not even fit the compass, but the adjuster is good). So he got acquainted with it, recorded what needs to be changed, gave it all to one of our aunts and ordered to insert changes. She was coming now, crying like the font picked up and glued it all. I asked for sources next time. I would have, of course, given it.
and patchwork.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №32389
 02.07.2010
I felt like Mario today.
YYY: Lazil in the tubes?
No, I hit my head on the brick ceiling, but the mushroom did not fall :(

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №32388
 02.07.2010
How interesting it is to listen to a woman when she is silent.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №32387
 02.07.2010
A large supermarket in the province, never elite. Half an hour before the closure, naturally, only two boxes work, in each longer row. But there is nowhere to go, the people are silent, not roaring. In front of me stands a creature, as it seemed to me at the time, very conditionally male.
- pink T-shirt "in the shirt", narrow jeans, a long painted forehead, glasses for half-face. A guy rides a cart filled with "Yaga" and beer, and continuously ticks on the mobile phone.
We go to the box office, the guy puts all his alcohol abundance on the tape, gets a penny, and here the strict girl the cashier ticks him an ad: say, we do not sell alcohol to persons up to 18 years of age, show out-the-box or step away unfloated bread.
The guy does not have a document, of course, he discreetly proves that he is soon 19 years old and in general this is all empty formality and the like.
The cashier is unwavering like the silk, no passport - no beer. Actively pay attention to their conversion.
And here the girl lights up. He turns to the second cashier (a very gentle lady of 25 years old), who just behind his back serves the second row and asks with a thumpy voice:
“Marine, tell her that I’m already 18.
Marina said, “I didn’t look at your passport, I don’t know things. Walk away from here.” What the guy immediately, without thinking quite loudly stated:
Oh yeah, and then I’ll attract you for shit!! to
The line froze, Marina became like a beetle, Miss relentlessly counted the surrender, and the guy, more precisely the Man, victoriously departed, and no longer heard the replicas of the aunt from the line: "Molodec Marinka..."

[ + 35 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №32386
 02.07.2010
In the swimming pool flows 400 liters of water, and flows 405 liters!
Question: Do swimmers have a conscience?

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №32385
 02.07.2010
Electricist (15:14:25 17/06/2010)
Oh! The storm is coming!

Electricist (15:32:17 17/06/2010)
You are like a whistleblower!!! to

Electricist (15:32:40 17/06/2010)
Directly in the neighbors - they put a transformator booth on the roof in the winter. Despite all my warnings :)

Electricity (15:33:01 17/06/2010)
Now they have fire on the roof :-) And there is no light :-)

Electrical (10:12:54 23/06/2010)
Mint came O.O.

Electricist (10:13:12 23/06/2010)
My neighbors wrote a statement to me. Say, type, saboteur - because of me, a lightning hit their transformator bucket.

Electricist (10:13:40 23/06/2010)
He showed the place of the "crime", explained what to do. Mint has long roasted.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №32384
 02.07.2010
News about Windows 8
The novelty is focused on a mono-computer, combining a monitor and a system unit. It will have a highly sensitive touch screen, a 3D monitor, a all-directional microphone for voice control and built-in columns.

Commentary :
Well, finally, you will be able to choke through the screen with the interlocutor (adaptation to the Russian version - a mini chat for three, the smell of shrimp and a filtered sound card)

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №32383
 02.07.2010
The whole family is crazy! Today I helped them wash the dishes.
XXX: The shell was filled with dishes and poured with water. There were remnants of food floating, and the smell was unbearable.
xxx: I finally got to the bottom of the shell - I see there is a regular wooden blade, but a dark brown color. I think it’s rubbed, well, nothing – I’ll wash anyway.
xxx: I get it - and this is a brown plastic spoon... from shoes!!! And judging by the sticky pieces of fried onions, it was used as a scarf.
XXX: I am afraid of them.


[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №32382
 02.07.2010
My cat yesterday fell from the balcony from the 4th floor, took him to the hospital, took me 600 rubles for everything. Yesterday he fell again, again the hospital, the confusion of the doctors plus my flat joke "the parachute did not open again" plus 600 re on everything about everything. Today this fox has fallen again, (maybe he thought leming?)
YYY: Can I tie it? and :)
I’ll go over the neck to think next time. :) It turned out that the neighbor on the balcony had a leak (I mean the cat), so he was the terrorist wanted to get to her. The result: three extractions of the limbs, six injections in three days and nowhere two rubles of money accumulated on the eye.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №32381
 02.07.2010
Commentary on the new requirement for autopharmacies now consisting exclusively of binders

Feelings_Cat
Address: Khabarovsk
We had to wear. I got in an accident, overwhelmed, laid on my shoes and waiting :)

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №32380
 02.07.2010
Anya Miroshnikov
No, Serega of normal orientation, a week ago became a father, he just has the talent to see women beautiful

Alex is
and)))

Alex is
Drinking a lot?

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №32379
 02.07.2010
Hello, how is it, what’s new?
Nothing, everything is old.
How on the personal front?
He: Yes, it’s all the same, one...
She: What is so bad?
He: Well, you know... I’m already somewhat out of the women.
She: Why so...
He: Sometimes you look at a beautiful sunset... like the waves of the sea whisper about the sandy shore... So you want to lure somebody, stitch, press to your strong chest and have passionate, gentle and hot sex... and watch porn, and it all goes by.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna