bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №33358
 22.07.2010
Lippy: Oleg, did you know that I was filmed in porn?
No of O_O
Lippy: I didn’t know...

[ + 49 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №33357
 22.07.2010
Have a nice cup of tea =)
I am milk.
2: With the beads
1 is like a man.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №33356
 22.07.2010
HH: This is always the case!
In the morning, with a headache, you have to run to the store.
xxxh: because yesterday seemed to be a little and drank the reserve for a hammer
XHHH: reserved specifically not to run!

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №33355
 22.07.2010
X: Oh, Zhenya, when are you leaving? Are you going to have a farewell party?
ZZZZ : Oh yeah! He has every day a farewell party: "Goodbye, liver", "Goodbye, lungs", "Goodbye, kidneys".

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №33354
 22.07.2010
You need a 220V water pump. For one day, pump water from the basement. Who is strong to give?
YYY: I heard that when pumping without eliminating the cause of the leak, the reverse effect begins to work. There is more water afterwards.
XXX: Yes, my keys fell there. I would get it, and so I didn't climb in it for 5 years, and another 10 would not be useful.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №33353
 22.07.2010
I asked a friend to take the book "Three Comrades" Remarque in the school library, her grandmother is a librarian and I have already left school... I call her and I say what book she took, she says: "Yes, the best with pictures, you asked for three pigs, and why did she ask you?"

[ + 44 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №33352
 22.07.2010

ch ch ch
And I'm still looking at Three Darknesses.)These dudes have not even been seen in Three Films. That’s why I watched it.

NNN
ROFL (Who is watching)

ch ch ch
It’s interesting how vampires eat.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №33351
 22.07.2010
Talk to a fisherman:
Did you know that there are a lot of heavy metals in fish?
Well, what do you do, I give it to the metal.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №33350
 22.07.2010
the_bird : has anyone had a dog ultrasound deterrent? works?
Shakall: Yes, my dog was afraid of himself.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №33349
 22.07.2010
XX: Do you remember the movie?
About the Bremen?

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №33348
 22.07.2010
Suv2
My world :
"You may be familiar with
"Royalty of the United States"

Suv2
OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Suv2
Where is the button "we even fuck"?

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №33347
 22.07.2010
XXX: He is not like everyone else. He is special!
Yyy: special and fucking are different concepts))

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №33346
 22.07.2010
I am: he, and I have room temperature.
in the office - 36.5

Mihuil

[ + 97 - ] Comment quote №33345
 22.07.2010
Tofik: I believe that humanity has taken a slightly different path of development... and instead of developing itself and its abilities, it has developed the world around it... creating conditions... technology...
(Maybe it’s all from human leniency)
Eventually, evolution is happening around us... at the moment we degrade.

Played: +1

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №33344
 22.07.2010
In the pursuit of happiness, it is sometimes useful to do your feet.

[ + 61 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №33343
 22.07.2010
Taste of Taste of Taste of Taste of Taste 3. Walking around the hall and reflecting, I stopped at unfiltered beer and smoked fish. Pregnantly enjoying, in 10 minutes I was sitting at home at the table and, having made a large bowl of beer, printed the package with smoked osetrine. In the same moment, a terrible odor spread throughout the apartment.
My family quickly gathered together. After a short but emotional discussion, the decision was made to immediately take the fish to the last path. Here it is necessary to explain - the house in which I live, built in 1903, the garbage pipeline is not provided.
Therefore, the procedure for bringing out prematurely dead fish is not as trivial as it may seem at first glance. I did not decide to leave a stinking gift on the staircase, considering it inhumane towards the neighbors. I had to dress up and thoughtfully drag to the garbage container in the yard. No need to describe my emotions at this moment. It seemed to me that I buried not only fish, with fish smelled and died insurance, smelled medical and transport services, in the garbage container decomposed trade services, and in our old courtyard with a bunch of dog cockroaches quietly lay the utility and the cleaning of the Moscow streets... Already taking my hand to stunnedly throw a package with the lost fish into the box, I suddenly noticed that next to the unfortunate caterpillar a commodity check from the Taste Book. The decision matured instantly – now I will walk 300 meters to the store and tell them everything I think. As it was, in my workout pants, pants and a jacket on my shoulders, I went to the store still boiling out of anger. The question is, “Where is the manager?” There was a beautiful girl in uniform. She led me into the office room, knocked on the door with a sign "managing Vagin B. A.” When I opened the door, she dropped me into the office. I walked boldly inside, speaking in my mind the text that I was going to say now, not being embarrassed in the expressions and... stumbled, astonished by the man sitting at a huge table. Nature did not pay off, creating the Vagina V.A. A two-meter-long versila with a bull’s neck, pudded fists and a neanderthal’s ruby face looked at me with curiosity with tiny eyes. Add a costume to this image.
Armani, gold Rolex on the wrist and you will understand that I immediately wanted to scandalize. I silently handed him a bag of fish. Vagin V. A. stunned, the smell clearly did not fit in his office. Looking slightly at the check, he nodded to the chair and suddenly said in a loud voice, "Don't worry, it's a misunderstanding, we'll fix it now." After that, he pressed the selector button and calmly said, "Haitova to me." A few minutes later, they knocked on the office. A fat man of "Caucasian nationality" entered and knocked in the door. Vagin V. A. looked at him silently for a while. Haitov was obviously uncomfortable, he was sweating, beating, shooting my side with his eyes, sneezing his nose, and in the rest behaved modestly. Then Vagin V. A. asked quietly:
“I told you, shit, when did I tell you to write off?” "After yesterday, Val Sanych" - the Haitian runner-up was thick red. On the badly shaved cheeks dropped drops of sweat. “And this is what?” Asked Vagin V. A., knocking on the bag lying on the table. Haiti was obviously shaken and spotted something unreasonable about the reassortment, apparently already realizing what was going to follow.
Vagin V.A. dropped in the chair, crossed his hands on his chest, like in the cinema, and calmly, without emotions, but strictly, said: "Gry, shit."
The action that followed reminded me of a horror film – the unfortunate haitian whore, crying, smashing on the face of tears and sores, pressed with stinking fish, swallowed convulsively, assuring with full mouth that never again in life, mirrored, overcoming the vomiting reflex and again ate, swallowed and pressed. Finally the fish ended. Vagin V.A. turned to me and asked with a smile, "Are you satisfied, or to force him and the pack to eat? The money will be returned to the box.” He nodded his head, telling me that the show was over. I stood up, thoughtfully pulled out my hand, got 400 rubles in the box and went home thinking about an exceptionally effective quality management policy in the stores of the Taste Azbuka network.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №33342
 22.07.2010
The scooter stops the car. Note that the driver holds the book under both ankles.
What books do you read?
GDPR and the Criminal Procedure Code.
What are these wires on your chest?
The microphone is used to record your conversation.
Do you have a video camera, by chance?
Unfortunately, there are no video cameras.
Haishnik (showing his hands in an inappropriate gesture):
Well, then the happy road!

[ + 43 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №33341
 22.07.2010
A friend just sent:

Just coming in, the girl says, “Give me a cup of tea.” And immediately after a message from her colleague: Polina will come for tea - let's not, say what's over and look at the reaction.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №33340
 22.07.2010
Puppy
I would have bought 8 thousand pieces in your place and then I would be happy on the 3rd day and you are all on the computer, you are a sick man.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №33339
 22.07.2010
Oleg (16:06:25 21/07/2010)
Banks banned from playing call of duty at lunch
Oregon (16:07:06 21/07/2010)
because one player gave the other a moustache for calling him in the game =)

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