st: In contact with the girl status "what would you do if you knew I was dead?" The first answer on the wall: "I would remove from friends"

I work in a bookstore, yesterday saw the most unusual buyers for all 3 years robots.Come mean two guys of the most informal appearance: 2 meters grumbled in camouflage, barbs, with large backenbards and his friend is not much smaller,all in the skin and spikes,hairs almost along the belt.You will never guess what they asked.One asked for the meetings of Shakespeare and Petrarchy,and the other works of Demokrit in the new Greek language...After this I just couldn't not get acquainted.Maxim and Vitalik if you read this hello you=)))

VB: Yes, I didn’t have any mackerel in my mouth this morning!
VB: Tyfu, the rosines...
Fuck you, the damned narcissist!

Ochemoomlya: What kind of globalization can we talk about if there are at least 13 types of rosettes and staples in the world?? to

- Good morning, technical support service, Anna, I listen to you.
... ( the silence )
Tell me please.
... ( the silence )
- Unfortunately, you are badly heard, please call again later, thank you for your call, good luck.
to Goodbye.
- 0_o

On the chat dealer:

[alex]: Would you wear a mask that reads the name of the fish you are looking at on the bottom of the glass?
[alina]: I would have used, it's great, to dive out and tell the students - but this was a scaly long jump.
No, they are not, they are old. This is a crucifixion!

Human rights end where the rights of the stronger begin.

I went for a doctoral diploma at VAK in Tverskaya in 1997 and I went there.
The row. Expectants decided that it was necessary to divide into 2 rounds at once - candidate and doctoral (this then turned out to be that everyone is put into one).
So everyone in each other find out who came for which diploma. and me
37 or 38 was, I was short-cut, in a black coat-coat - cuddly, insolite. The elderly were upset that a relatively young man climbed into the doctoral row, each newcomer wanted to ask and clarify if I was not mistaken.So in the end it came to pass that to the next questioner I answered sharply, strangely: "And my brothers said, hopefully this, like her, doctoral take, it is more expensive, but cooler."

There was a heavy silence, and everyone left behind in horror. At that time, it was not yet epidemic, the gangs did not rise to grades, the purchased dissers were new... Yes, I did not know how prophetic this foolish joke would be.

P.S As he walked out, he caught the blind eyes of those waiting for his turn.
(Apparently, without me, the situation was discussed and everyone was informed), he waved his diploma and said loudly, "A chaooh, lowly, and not expensive."

- How to sleep with girls on a first date, so please, and like a flash
Put it in your computer, so oh... no... don’t need... suddenly infectious.

Advertising in the university toilet:

"Attention, in connection with the increased cases of pregnancy in the toilet, now established VIDEO WATCH"

My cat stole and fucking soft toys. It is fun when in the middle of the night the plush cow wipes and wipes "I will be your little cow", and this cat in the dust of passion presses a button on it, wipes:)))

_!nFernaL: Today I watched a 7-year-old boy who shouted I PARKUR!! He broke his head at the fence.

A neighbor in the bus.
He smiled at me and said:
"I’ll go for a walk"

I love this world.

Elizabeth C*******:
I sell spare parts:
I sell a piece that holds the front wheels along with the discs.
I also sell the matrix.
I'll sell something else, I don't remember the name, but it's there.

My lovely girls))

Standard dialogues in the gynecologist's office:
Do you have a sexual life?
and yes.
What are you protecting?
Nothing...
You seem to be pregnant.
From where?! to
You won’t believe it, but there are kids from sex!(I know a gynecologist))).Well, it is a long time to see these astonished eyes and send on the abortion of young girls!Think, see!The guys don’t care now, and tomorrow they will be your wives (they will, will not even guess...)And you will, in dreams of children, both beat the thresholds of hospitals and work on medicines...Your HEALTH IN YOUR HANDS!Take care of each other!

PomidorIK: How angry I am when Xenia Sobchak is compared to a horse! >_<
Horses are one of the smartest and most beautiful animals.
Tomatoes: direct offensive for them =(

National Geographic channel.
I watch a show about natives in America.
A bear’s skin hangs on the wall.
The owner of the house: "And this is a mouse. He is kind and not terrible at all. Because he is dead!!!" :D

If you fly, you grow.
It flew, it grew up.

<xxx> I thought
<xxx> if there is porn, where almost every girl is a sex bomb, and a man is a burning male, and people "do their business", watching it and fantasizing
<xxx> so why not shoot as a man drinks, for example, Hennessey X-Oh and smokes a expensive cigar, for the audience who will watch this video, drinking cheap beer and smoking the appropriate cigarettes.
<yyy> gigs, or how someone eats red caviar to eat under this video of pelmeni)
<xxx> you understand the essence. or, let’s say, a first-person video where a guy runs a bentley with a flash to turn on a 4-inch display for three rubles in an old six.
<yyy> these will be sales hits)

It is all shit. The coolest saying from Kappa:

The word is not wretch.