bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №29118
 23.04.2010
The NGLU.
One familiar girl urgently needed a dean of the French faculty. Further from her words:
I go through the corridor, I can't find a cabinet, deserted.. here a drunkard runs in front of me, swollen, I think "how did one ever get here?Okay, I don’t think to ask anyone else. I approach: you understand, I need a dean... And that I:"I listen to you" O_o

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №29117
 23.04.2010
From Wikipedia:
The comians used the rite of ludik petkodom to remove clowns. When the bugs appeared in the house and all the means had already been tried, the householders caught one bug, placed it in the center of the table and the choir began to sneeze over it and morally mock it. It was believed that the bugs would not endure such an insult and immediately leave the house.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №29116
 23.04.2010
The light speaks of you.
What exactly interests her?
Those who fuck her.
There were no complaints

[ + 140 - ] Comment quote №29115
 23.04.2010
I was now in the bus, and watched the movement of a whole column of cars with blue hives, and not on which cars were attached red hives)) and a blue hose for the toilet hose...along with the hose itself)))

Respect to you guys!! = = )

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №29114
 23.04.2010
I bought cookies in the store this morning.
I: Can I have this cake, orange?
There is also a cherry.
I: I see, but I want an orange!
Cherry is more delicious.
And with an orange! I don’t want Cherry.
Okay... well... (in the assembly) Masha!!! Bring a bag of cherry cake!! to
I asked for apple!!! to
W :??Well, what did I say?
I said, “You said "Cherry"!!!! to
A young man, I said, “Appelsin...”
I am : No!! to
You confused me... Masha, I was wrong, with an orange!!!! to
I already brought the cherry.
I asked for an orange!!! to
And why not raise your voice, and what a mood from the morning.

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №29113
 23.04.2010
Symbol of the BORA period of April 2010:
A volcano covered with a blue speck.

[ + 74 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29112
 23.04.2010
Are you gay and don’t want to be ashamed? Are you looking for a guy for sex? If so, then a new flashmob is for you! No bracelets or anything else. It is enough to simply not turn the turntable on when reconstructing!

[ + 43 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29111
 23.04.2010
One magazine conducted a survey among its readers on the subject as usual.
They refer to government officials and deputies of the State Duma. by
The results of the survey were rated. However, for considerations
The censorship magazine was unable to publish it and attracted a philologist who did not
by resorting to non-normative vocabulary was able to bring readers’ opinions in
The literary form. So then:
1st Homosexuals smell bad.
2nd female dogs after collection.
Three contraceptive
4 is People running in pants.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №29110
 23.04.2010
A friend is known in trouble, and a friend is known in money.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №29109
 23.04.2010
The story happened in Buryatia, when two friend hunters (Badma and Russian Serega) went to the taiga. They stopped in the hunting winter.
Early in the morning, Badma went to do the natural needs under the nearest bushes. From the first persons.
I sit under the bush and suddenly I see a bear moving towards me. I look at him and I can't stop - all sru and sru... I start sharply from a low start in the direction of winter (by the way, tried to run with downed pants and set a world record in sprinter running?) And I shouted, “Serega, the bear!” At this time, Serega turns and shuttered so in the winter and closes from the inside. I run to the closed door and shout, “Sirga fucking open!” From the window I look at two eyes the size of a dish, well completely unseen. The bear is near. Throw the door and let us run away from the bear around the winter. I made a few circles and somehow managed to climb onto the roof. At that time Serega looked up and got the gun. The bear, afraid of the shot, fled to the taiga.
Serega: I hear the scream “Serega, bear.” I turn around, mommy, a bear the size of our colloquial bull is rushing straight to me. As I ran in the winter and locked the door, I don't remember, I hear the words of Badma, but I can't move from the place and I look out the window right at Badma. How he materialized me... A small eye in the winter, and the pictures flash there: a badma bear...
After several cycles the picture changed: the bear-Badma, the bear-Badma. He walked around a bear and ran after him. Here the stupor slept with me and I got the gun and shot off the bear.
I heard this story from the participants.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №29108
 23.04.2010
The first question I would like to ask after viewing the Prime Minister’s report on the activity of the government – what is it about?

[ + 86 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29107
 23.04.2010
I was bitten by a donkey on my upper lip, it was swollen, now I am beautiful and glamorous!

[ + 106 - ] Comment quote №29106
 23.04.2010
In general, the algorithm of actions aimed at improving life in cities and villages:

Point of 1. We invite Medvedev.
Point 2 (the most important!) We set the route.
It is very important to capture as much territory as possible. It is desirable that the same houses should be viewed from all sides along the way of the president.

As a "control" - flying over the city in a helicopter, so that the roofs are also in bars.

Point of 3. We don’t shut down, we send the squad.

[ + 71 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29105
 23.04.2010
Nadine: How far to get there?
Czar: 2 stops
Nadine is Panthera. How much back?
There are also 2 stops. Do we have an isotropic space?

[ + 98 - ] Comment quote №29104
 23.04.2010
You think that Vladivostok is x... do you know where? This is Moscow from Vladivostok x... knows where...

[ + 68 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29103
 23.04.2010
In the club toilet, an inscription on A4 above the toilet (and the toilet is not twisted into the floor but in the wall)
"You can only do pi pi and ka how. Everything else can lead to big bad boom".

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №29102
 23.04.2010
We have a new sitemap today. First of all, he opened access to the BOR. The battle aroused respect =))

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №29101
 23.04.2010
Lord Sasha: wife to his bed brought she wants sex and how to do it?

It turned out that a man about the game Fable asked...

[ + 43 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29100
 23.04.2010
c-alien: I am generally a noble bridegroom... I eat a tower, I eat arimia, I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t bother, I don’t cheer about grandmothers, I do sports... I don’t work... without money... without a car... without an apartment... without a wife ((((

C-alien: Yeah you all of us

[ + 104 - ] Comment quote №29099
 23.04.2010
Lectures about drug addiction:

What is the name of a substance in which the brain is atrophized and ceases to be responsible for its actions?
The seeds!! to

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