bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №39121
 20.11.2010
The case was 10 years ago, asking my grandmother to pick up my backpack for school.
After a long time I was surprised to find there a bank with a borsch :)

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №39120
 20.11.2010
Death: The girl is adorned by humility and mind. Not everyone knows what these words mean.

Life: Nihus death has suffered

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №39119
 20.11.2010
We were sitting in guests yesterday, my wife, her two friends (D1 and D2). D1 5 minutes ago went to the neighboring apartment to his nephew (P, a little over 20 years to him), he did not open.
A nephew rushes to our room, the same one who is all overwhelmed: "What was needed?"
Q1: I wanted to ask something, but why didn’t you open it?
Q: Well, maybe I was fucking that I would open up right away?
Q2: Are you so unusual?
My wife: You exercise more often
... →


[ + 8 - ] Comment quote №39118
 20.11.2010
The higher the salary, the less you can go without it.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №39117
 20.11.2010
This story is absolutely true, but if I had not heard it from the direct participant, I would hardly believe it.
We have a nice nurse Olivia, she’s a little over 40. In her name, the story goes on.
“It was in the early 1990s. My nurse got sick and I was asked to go to work for a day next week. I agreed, but there was one problem to solve – that day no one had to take Pavlik, my son, from the kindergarten. I had to call my dad, he agreed and on the weekend came to see where the kindergarten, from which to take the child. The fact is that my dad rarely visited us because he did not have a very good relationship with my husband. Dad came, we showed him a kindergarten (nearby - exactly the same, we live in a typical area), said "Dad, don't confuse, our garden is right" and said goodbye until Tuesday.
But on the appointed day, the nurses leave the hospital and send me home at the usual time. I think I’ll go for the Pashka, maybe my dad didn’t pick it up yet. The child is in the group, we dress up, we leave.
We approach the entrance. The grandmother at the entrance shook me:
“Slava (this is my dad) and Pavlik have already come!”
I look at my child and wonder, “Who am I with?”
I quickly climb into the apartment, open the door and find the following scene: on the chair in the room is sitting and roaring a strange little boy, around him my dad and my old blinded grandmother, tick him an album with photographs and say in front of him: "Pavlik, Pavlik, do not cry, baby, here is your mother, tomorrow from work will come." The grandmother begins to lick the baby on the head and suddenly with a tense voice says: "And our hair was shorter! Then he touches his legs and adds “And the other pants.” My dad starts to look around in horror and finally notices me with his son. “The Reviewer” is a scene.
And the matter was this: Dad, of course, confused the garden. He climbed into the presumed group, asked to "publish" Pavlik. The times were Soviet, no one was concerned about security. Unfortunately, Pavlik was in this group. The father grabbed him and began to dress, the boy began to roar. Then Dad gave him a banana (then a deficient delight).
The boy began to eat a banana, calmed down a little, so his dad quickly picked him up and brought him home. My grandson walked all the way. Well, the crying children, according to my father, are all on one face.
Not to convey the horror with which I listened to this story. “Daddy, run to kindergarten, the boy’s parents are probably mad.”
When my father was entering that unfortunate neighboring kindergarten, a lonely daddy was sitting and smoking on the pitch. He took his
Pavlica and to his father's overwhelming explanations said only one phrase:
“You can’t imagine how lucky you are, man, that his mother didn’t take him today!”

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №39116
 20.11.2010
Agree, somehow differently in the 60s of the last century and now perceived the phrase "The boy glued a model in the club."

[ + 62 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39115
 20.11.2010
The man came to pick up the computer.
M was that?
You had viruses.
What a virus, I have an antivirus!
I-Stand, but you’d be scratching porn less and everything would be okay!
What kind of guy?! What are you!! This is a child’s computer. He’s not a guy yet!!! to

The curtain!

And the fact that his baby has a third-sized breast, and honest photos with her in the main role of a sex combo is not in the account!


[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №39114
 20.11.2010

Ytsejammer (15:15:27 19/11/2010)
Name for Putin's dog

Ytsejammer (15:15:32 19/11/2010)
The Electorate

Ytsejammer (15:15:40 19/11/2010)
The electorate! to sit! to lie!

Ytsejammer (15:15:46 19/11/2010)
And most importantly, the voice.

Ytsejammer (15:15:50 19/11/2010)
The electorate! The voice!

[ + 62 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39113
 20.11.2010
xxxxxxxxxxx:
I go into the department to my clowns, and they are standing at the table and issuing such... orgasmic stones. I think "all the guys are upset already - they are watching porn at work". I get closer, and there... And there is an unstoppable beauty gun. The photo of course. But shit, how beautiful it is.
WOW :
Yes, you’re there fucking fucking, you’re up with guns.
xxxxxxxxxxx:
Catch a photo.
WOW :
OOOO OOOO! Oh Oh! God, I want him!

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №39112
 20.11.2010
shodany: if you're a guy and everyone turned away from you, don't be upset - now you have access to their ass and you can take revenge =)

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №39111
 20.11.2010
MSU.faculty of state administration.dining.in the list of dishes: salad "smaragd",composition:beetle,mayonnaise.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №39110
 20.11.2010
xxxx
I went to the harem in the winter and forgot what it was called, I sometimes look like that and I can't remember what it was called. Give me that kilogram.
xxxx
I come home to freeze it is frozen tomatoes.)))

[ + 54 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39109
 20.11.2010
Kill me with:
I sit with my wife in the kitchen, drink tea, she strangely smiles and looks at the clock. I don’t pay attention... there’s a bell in the door, she jumps up with the words "it’s to me" and runs to open. In 5 seconds, her ex-husband flies in, beats me in the beard, while I try to catch what is happening, they go out to him in the car and laughing leave... shoot until I found them... save the happy couple.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №39108
 20.11.2010
They say, Andrew, when a sober, real gentleman, and when a buoy - as if his second self is awakening, another Andrew becomes, youthub will not lie!

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №39107
 20.11.2010
In the lectures:
There is virtually no production of one kind of product.
How about the birthplace?

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №39106
 20.11.2010
From the news:

Militia of Pervoralsk disrupted the action of ecological grief
The organizers were told that the balls fired into the sky could get into the helicopter with Putin and shoot him down.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №39105
 20.11.2010
The birthday of one of the staff members is celebrated. The culprit of the celebration, taking advantage of the position, feeds the present ladies on a canapé of fruits, putting the canapé directly in their mouths (and ladies can not refuse and can not, the nominee, like no one, and also their boss...). At this point, one of the women present wants to say a toast.
XXX: "health, happiness...bla-bla-bla...", and ends "this is what a galantine man we have, the whole department gives in the mouth!"
Depending on the pause, XXX realizes that something is wrong...
Laughter in the collective.
The head of the entire collective (YYY), too, we must say, a humorist, looks at the nominee (his subordinate), and with a disgraceful way, and regret:
YYY: "Well, I’m working so much, I haven’t given it to anyone yet, and he’s already giving it to the whole department!!and "
The group just rushes to tears)))

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №39104
 20.11.2010
My husband recently said:

You sleep, I go to work. I ate breakfast, shaved and dressed. I come to kiss you, and you are so cute lying down, smiling in your sleep, wrapped in a blanket. I can’t endure, I lie next to you, I embrace you, I embrace you, I kiss you, I condemn you – what a good, sweet, my favorite, my kiss, my leg... here you open your eyes, you look at me and you say, “Password accepted!” and you close your eyes and cut off.

You need to sit less behind the compass.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №39103
 20.11.2010
We have one assistant at work, Gene, and yesterday a boss approaches him at work:
When will you put a fence on me?
- I can put a stick, and we will put the fence of the entire brigade.

c) Dussick

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №39102
 20.11.2010
by Lapochka:
I thought he was very serious, he was always shy, he worked in court. And then in the working documents saw the folder "wii" ))
Anne is not. This is the Criminal Inspection.
The Sugar (

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