A Russian man needs a hat only to throw it on the ground and dance when he drinks.

For years you continue to believe that love is a miracle, but you stop believing in miracles.

My sister told me. He lives with the states, then from the first person.
I go to the doctor with my son (6 years old). The Doctor is such a joyful and kind God. It turned out to have Russian roots, his parents once immigrated, he was already born here. I am glad that we are almost landlords. And here the examination begins, and the doctor so affectionately said to his son: "Show your throat,
“Breathe, Breathe,” “Don’t Breathe, Breathe” and so on.
And all with such a loving smile that excludes the breath. I was slightly upset, and my child too. When under the pressure of the surprised look of the child, I still asked, why, say, you are so a boy?
It turned out that the old man sincerely believed that this epithet
This is the kindness of treatment of children in Russian families. His Russian grandfather always called it that way.

Because of the terrible traffic jams, a completely sober client was brought into the shutter.

The Abyss!

Stop fulfilling small requests, accumulate high potential and with its help remove ALL problems, cleanse the world from the past, give way only to highly intelligent personalities, who in the future will not allow the repeat of the current world situation.

up to up. up up!

Cats should be chewed 15 times a day, otherwise they will sneeze. Plus, for the prevention of atherosclerosis, the cat should be smoothed daily for 5-7 minutes.
so stop sitting behind the compot, get up and kiss your cat - make yourself and him happy))))

He: You can do this straight, what you do.
She : What?
He: turn your head to the right and direct your beard at an angle of ~35 degrees to the floor plane.
Do you see the sky there?
She : What?
He is: >.<
I see Paul.
It is: humanitarian
He: I don't say about minus 35
It is x)
I see it)
It is heaven)
She is: yes
He: Well and here
He: happiness we sit and look at the sky
He: and the same thing.
He: There is an opinion that it is cute
She is :)
It is = *
He is: (
The Spring Hole

- we and Marinka overheard with the "spring mood", the member swollen and brown)
Have you become an avatar?

Koriccca (12:43:30 15/04/2010)
Money has arrived

dynamikos (12:43:40 15/04/2010)
Yippidy yi yippity yay.

Koriccca (12:44:20 15/04/2010)
This is exactly how the word "wage" sounds in the language of sea pigs.

Today I tell my mom "I want to invite Maxim for the weekend"
She: "How do we behave?"
I: "Be behaving as usual"
She: "How do you usually walk naked around the apartment?"
I: "How normal people usually behave!"

Residents of Chelyabinsk launched a new campaign: "educate the employee of the GIBDD".On Youtube posted a video in which a regular pedestrian charges the employees of the DPS: they parked a service car in the wrong place - on a pedestrian crossing.

“Present documents!” says the pedestrian, who conducts the video. The GIBDD employee can’t understand why they talk to him like this: “I didn’t stop you. You are not the driver.” “I am a pedestrian,” the author of the video replies proudly. Participant in road traffic. We provide documents. You are a police officer and must provide on the first request! We violate why?”

The DPS employee presents documents, after which he sits in the car, and the DPS team leaves the pedestrian crossing. Parking again. The pedestrian approaches the car inspectors:

A fine of 1000 rubles. He says. - for movement on the sidewalk - another 2 thousand. Parking in the wrong place.”
An employee of the GIBDD, who turned out to be Pigs Vladimir Alexandrovich, very politely "humanly" asks the "walker" to turn off the camera. And then he begins to complain about his life: his official salary is only 12 thousand rubles. He is “violating.” And if it were up to 50,000, everything would be different. At the end of the video, a brave Chelyabinsky pedestrian appeals to the head of the Chelyabinsk region’s GIBDD with the aim of preventing road safety to raise the salary of all employees of the automotive inspection.

Dialogue with the designer after a week of extracurricular work

I: It is OK. I’ll let you go by Monday. Eat, eat and write poetry.
Sergey is not. I rent a crane, buy furniture, go to the hospital.

Asteroids breaks 27-year record
On Saturday, John McAllister visited his friend to play Asteroids. He was still playing it on Monday.
At 22:18 he scored 41,338,740 points, thus breaking the record set on 14 November 1982 by 15-year-old Scott Safran, who didn't sleep three days to get 41,336,440 points.
Once every few hours, when there were enough "lives" on the account, John took a break - departed from the machine, walked around the room and supported with sandwiches (one time he almost broke his record, when returning from the toilet he had only two lives).

The Elf of the 80th level.

<v.dewansa> how is a computer different from the Arab family?
<missn>? to
In the Arab family there is one dad and many moms, and in the computer there is one mom, but many, many folders.! to

Application for employment:
What do you do in your free time?
I am evolving.

lolli: I got on a date, I stand at the box office in a row with condoms and shampoo and I hear a heavy breath behind me, a guy standing with diapers and beer and looking at me sadly like a shrek cat.
The truth of life 😉
lolli: don’t say)))I even wanted to go.

14:52 xxx: You have done it!
14:44 xxx: you
(14:54) xxx: * tired
(14:54) xxx: * to me

Did you know that the human DNA is 50% identical to the banana DNA?
Chen says: No, I did not know. But I know people who seem to have DNA 100% identical to a piece of tree.

The C Answers:

Q: Tell us how to block the balcony plastic door from young children by false or "folk remedies"?
A: Well, if the question is in the category "Music"...
Close the door with the piano.

In the office, as a result of the long absence of the sysodman, a joke was born: to call a dog a server.
The server lie down.