bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 81 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №26788
 04.03.2010
I go with a girlfriend to a Rammstein concert. We walk through the park to the concert site. Some chords behind, obviously, are going the same way. The further dialogue:
* is shrinking *
They are bluffing!!! to
What are you saying to fuck the whole park? What fucking thing about you, Gondon, people will think of us?!! to

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №26787
 04.03.2010
xxx: In 1988 in Rio de Janeiro, a "Brazilian Banana Party" (which, in fact, was a group of humorists) at the next election under the slogan "Vote monkey - get monkey" nominated a cute monkey Tiao, living in a local zoo, as a candidate for mayor. The chimpanzee, by the way, was sweet only in appearance - he had a bad mood and constantly kicked something in the visitors.
The Banana Party has nominated chimpanzees to the election in order to highlight the failure of the other candidates. However, they did not assume the high electoral support of the sweet Tiao. Chimpanzee won 400,000 votes in the elections, thus reaching 9.5% and obtaining his legitimate third place (among twelve candidates). Tiao died in 1996 at the age of 33. In his honor in the zoo even put a monument, and he also entered the Guinness Book of Records, as the chimpanzee, which got the most votes in the election :)
xxx:this item, by the way, can be challenged - I definitely know the monkey, who recently won the presidential election, gaining a lot more votes)))
FL

[ + 87 - ] Comment quote №26786
 03.03.2010
“You’ve heard, Putin said, that the results of our team’s performance in Vancouver are an opportunity for analysis.
I think it would be better to say "We’ve gotten out"...

[ + 82 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №26785
 03.03.2010
When I say that I have dr on the last day of winter follows about this dialogue
I: I have a DR on the last day of winter
On the 31st of December??? Nixon was not lucky at the NHL.
The last day of winter, not the last day of the year.
and AAAA! 30 February?
I am fucking! How many days in February?
The 31st?
So every year

Fly_Mouse

[ + 112 - ] Comment quote №26784
 03.03.2010
We have an astonishingly intelligent boy in our company, Dim. A medium-sized, thin man, but the main thing is always smiling and saying: Be kind, please, eat, thank you very much, I have an honor. Everyone around me just ballads. And at the beginning of our friendship, my girlfriend told me he liked me. I always liked the opposite guys strong, brutal, behind whom as behind the stone, I told him about it, he smiled, said that everything was fine. It would be nothing, but.
Yesterday we all our company (3 girls and 3 boys) celebrated his departure (leaving forever). He went to the store, and at this point three typical copniks (not frames, but healthy) approached us. Our boys immediately sat down and the hops had already begun to push. Suddenly, Dima flees out of the store, with wild eyes, one hand cut off immediately, the second leg into the jaw, the third himself escaped. We are all in shock, and he is smiling. Kickboxing has been his hobby for seven years.
I’m for what, girls, kill me, right?


[ + 87 - ] Comment quote №26783
 03.03.2010
I cannot be abandoned, I can only be lost!
I didn’t lose anything when I dropped you.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №26782
 03.03.2010
Ushan: A friend called in the middle of the night and that the enlightenment fell on him:
The Olympic rings are Cheburska-woman.

[ + 98 - ] Comment quote №26781
 03.03.2010
Whoever plays, he plays.

K.O

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №26780
 03.03.2010
From the Olympic report on curling, our fuck 0-4.

Commentator: "And now timeout, we and you are watching the meeting of our girls with the coach.. and, we have to say that the coach is listening to every opinion, the democratic approach in our team.."

At this time in the background:
Coach: Katya, these 4 stones are yours! So better be silent or I will shut your mouth!"

[ + 97 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №26779
 03.03.2010
men with kefir, we break stereotypes together...all thanks to you...
I bought a kefir after work, I sit in front of the TV and drink... and then my wife comes and brings me a bucket and fish=)))

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №26778
 03.03.2010
Intercity bus Moscow-Voronezh Somewhere in the middle of the bus stopped for 10 minutes, people went out to smoke. After the bus touches, the aunt alone screams: “Oh, you forgot the man. The driver cries through the salon: did you forget it? Is his stuff there? Here a girl wakes up in the neighboring seat with a late and quiet so, complaining: yes, there are his things... it’s me.

[ + 67 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №26777
 03.03.2010
<Zellos> guys, give me advice, the poppy cellophane prevents me from working, and it is a pity to throw out, what to do?
<`vitos1k_tensei> destroy all puppies
<Zellos> so the work is worth it
<`vitos1k_tensei> Zellos, press it out as you press out your trousers after washing
<`vitos1k_tensei> puppies will die together
<Zellos> `vitos1k_tensei, vandal!

[ + 67 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №26776
 03.03.2010
of Novosibirsk! Urgent need of blood donors, 2 group, Rh negative. Give to Pr. Dzerzhinsky, 44, from 8.30 to 11.00. Phone of registration (383)278-87-81. The man who needs help is Nina Mednis. The situation is critical, please do your best - tell friends, acquaintances, be a donor if the group matches and there are no contraindications. Save the life of a good man. I believe in your responsiveness!

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №26775
 03.03.2010
Rotor: sister decided to leave the house)))
Q: What is it?
Do you know what was the first thing she did when she met?
Tagged with: burn
Rotor: she threw pictures of cats and songs on the flash ))))

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №26774
 03.03.2010
During the session:
I do anything, just not to learn. The apartment was cleaned 3 times. I even bathed a cat.
He: Yes it is always. How is the cat?
She: the cat in shock.. no one has been bathing since the last session.

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №26773
 03.03.2010
Thank you, dear SMS blockers!
My praise to you to the earth! You can never cut as much as we cut, programmers on the cure of comps!

[ + 79 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №26772
 03.03.2010
I found on one website a task for unusual thinking:
A man went to the airport, but on the way remembered that he forgot his tickets and went back. There was an accident at home with him and he died (no one killed him). There was only his servant in the house. Explain the situation.
The servant was deaf. The man returned and took the elevator, but the servant, not knowing that the master had returned, stopped the elevator. No matter how many people shouted, the servant did not hear and the man died of hunger.
Commentary of the website visitor:
What about the elevator? The servant was not only deaf but also blind. The owner was sweating! The servant smelled that someone came into the house, grabbed the tomahawk and stumbled to remove the scalp from the suppository. But by blindness missed and removed the owner’s turtle!! to
Agree, by stupidity my answer is not inferior to the author’s...

[ + 107 - ] Comment quote №26771
 03.03.2010
(translated from Ukrbaš)
XXX: I went to the playground behind the house. He went on the ice and fell 30 cm into the cold water. ppc
YYY: and children withstand the ice - it is protection from pedophiles

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №26770
 03.03.2010
I walked on the nail with my heels, I walked on the shoulder... Mom called her to go to the store, on the road I turned my second leg... I walk like a fool. Then on the way, the mother receives an invitation to a free seashen "Party for children with DCP syndrome"
Fuck it :-(

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №26769
 03.03.2010
D: Let me meet you.
P: So let me
D: My name is Love
A: The smoke
D: No my dear!
Q: I understand.............

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