bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №20988
 04.10.2009
I worked for four years in furniture manufacturing. The company was engaged in high-quality counterfeit of one Italian brand. Furniture is expensive, buyers are people of money, which means they are nervous... A young girl who worked with us as the chief of the service service, not very stupid, who broke up issues with nervous clients... Service service, it is she, drivers, loaders and collectors...
This is history, now history.
Due to production, the delivery of the furniture is delayed to the buyer of the clock by five. The client breaks the phone of the company, the girl with a gentle voice drops all the blame on the inexperienced driver, who can not find some Novorublevo and promises to strictly punish him when he returns, although the car is not yet loaded.
The driver is a young man, came to work with a very loose face, walked somewhere (very loosely).
Finally, at nine o’clock in the evening, the order was brought to the buyer, he ripped and cried, and then noticed that the driver was severely beaten. He asks the truckers what’s going on with him.
The trucks are fun, they tell that yesterday she also drove late on order and a client struck the boss... And she was a master of sport in wrestling, and she crashed on him, and today she will probably kill him at all.
The client is conducted and calls her... I got hot, but you, like punish subordinates, but not to the same extent.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №20987
 04.10.2009
Of the 100 randomly selected Russians, only 4 will be gay men, but at the same time there will be no less than 60.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №20986
 04.10.2009
[xxxx]
I decided to go to the prostitute.
[YYYY]
not worth
[xxxx]
Where is emphasis?

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №20985
 04.10.2009
I am a hero with my brother.
What is so?
In a week I burned my mother, broke my monitor, took my cardboard, accidentally broke it.
Oh the fucking
- Luckily, this monster is sitting behind my compot...Yeting is already on the reset...
It will break your windows ?
“I have Linux, and if it crashes it, I don’t know what to do with it.
Do not touch him, he is chosen. He was sent from the future to destroy Skynet.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №20984
 04.10.2009
<xxx> yesterday the thieves frightened at 3 o'clock at night)) wanted to take the garage) ringed ringing over the castle) their professionalism debbled me) took a powerful lamp, went out the window turned on, directed to the smoking and asked "save") quickly fled))

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №20983
 04.10.2009
to this:

Please tell me the title of the film.
I think it’s called “The Life of Ferdinand Cruz.” However, Google does not provide any search results for any combination of these words.
There was a man at the hotel working on various jobs. At first, he worked as an elevator when he gained the necessary qualities - went to work higher...
__________________________

I was looking badly)))
"Life and Death of Ferdinand Lucas"
Give pleasure to a man.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №20982
 04.10.2009
And even in the traffic, I became bored, I rubbed the music louder and opened the window. From the audition nearby, a guy asked if there was art+pfuš on the mobile and if I could throw it. Wouldn’t he fuck? In general, it was funny - a guy was strictly following me on the street only in order to sing a song (: Pizdec, I have not even seen such a thing in movies and have not heard anecdotes.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №20981
 03.10.2009
Not people, it's about winter, I suggest wearing bright green hats with bumps, if we don't get acquainted, so at least break)

[ + 85 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №20980
 03.10.2009
And you too in childhood felt that the picture "Vid" depicted Yeltsin?

[ + 81 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №20979
 03.10.2009
to this:
In the words of a friend:

Ordinary city bus. Everyone goes to work, somehow to entertain and calm the baby. Finally, on the silent question, say calm the child, the mother with total disregard in the voice declares "What? I have a free upbringing!" this young mother suits no less a young guy, removes huge headphones, splashes the gum into his hand, glues it on his mommy's forehead and with the words "What?! to
------------
If you steal other people’s stories, don’t overwrite it. He did not oral. And with his legs pulled, and the girl sitting opposite was constantly beating. To the outrage of the girl and the whole bus, my mom said that you can’t raise up to 5 years old. and after that. The guy quietly watched what was happening, glued my mom on the forehead gum and grit, I was also not raised until 5 years old.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №20978
 03.10.2009
14:16 xxx: by
16:16 I have a philosophical question to you
14:18 xxx: Fuck, I don’t even know how to formulate
14:23 xxx: fuck with him

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №20977
 03.10.2009
Americans have invented a cheap way to see through walls
__________________
The windows are already known to everyone.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №20976
 03.10.2009
100chuk: Peter is the only city in which one-third of the booms have a higher education.
GlobusAnonymous: what about the remaining two or more? :D

[ + 103 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №20975
 03.10.2009
to this:
XXX: He invites you to go to the cinema. What should I do so that he does not go to the cinema, and that he does not stop helping me with my studies.
Tell me you have PMS.

----------
This is because of such stupid behaviors, the men of normal women are considered to be fucks and dinamishes. You want to use the man for your merits without giving him anything in return. And many men, not burdened by intelligence, are led to this, hoping for their efforts to get the appropriate reward. Understand, fools, nothing in this world is just like that. If you asked a guy for a service, be prepared to pay for that service. It doesn’t matter what, at least 3.14days, even food, but not for thanks!

P.S Bring something...

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №20974
 03.10.2009
I work in technical support, I read our certificate:
"The speed reduction on the modem by the subscriber should be performed as follows:
winXP: start-.... ; vista: start -... ; linux: the user himself knows how to do it"

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №20973
 03.10.2009
and fuck-n-dead
I’ll give you a condom, give it to your parents and tell them not to do it again.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №20972
 03.10.2009
From chat TNT:
"Admin make the chat window slide to the full screen while house 2 goes"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №20971
 03.10.2009
What for the brave is cowardice, for the coward is an excuse.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №20970
 03.10.2009
First Chechnya, Chernokozovo, Filter Point
At the table is the head of the filter Sanya. A knock at the door, on the threshold two swollen rows in military camouflage without signs of distinction.
It is great, Commander!
Hello to you!
Are Ruslan and I talking?
The papers?
Here is! From the pocket of the jacket is removed a blank paper, suspicious
A type that gives the "subjector" the right to talk to the detained Czech.
Go to! Password twenty three.
Roosevelt is disappearing. Sanya pushes off a glass of undrunk tea and stretches to the machine.
Sanna, what are you?
- Yes, these, knocks on the door, faces (jargon name of FSB employees)
Yesterday we celebrated all night... The Colonel got one.
And what?
Obviously, the password will not be correct!
There is a difficult thing here: twenty-three and there are twenty-three!
Do not tell! Watch: the clock knows the password, these fit, he says to them:
“The six!” The faces must take five seconds from twenty-three six and
I say “Seventeen.” If you do not have time in five seconds, the clock
He said, “Eight.” If you did not respond correctly or did not respond correctly,
He puts their nose on the floor under the machine and presses the alarm button.
Have you seen their roots? You can’t count in five seconds.
The baser grumbled and the Berbers stumbled on the corridor. - Everyone, I'll go out of captivity to save the faces! - Sanya threw the machine on his shoulder and headed to the exit. And I thought, twenty-three, minus eight... fifteen what?
Yes, right was Galina Maximovna, a teacher of mathematics from high school No. 31, who hit our empty heads with tangents and logarithms:
“Learn, you idiots, you will still need mathematics!” Although there are roots, square... Here for folding and counting a bullet in the shell you can earn, and from your...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №20969
 03.10.2009
Girl, are you married?
and no.
And why?
And they try, and praise, and not take!

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