A couple of criminals are about to get stuck, everyone is gonna go. The teacher announces the subject of the future control.
Q: And don’t forget the next pair check "Rubies, Euros, Dollars"
Student from the last rows: say, and really give up without money?

Laughter in the audience.

The guys! If you learned that your girlfriend can’t tolerate the hero of the movie "Darkness", DO NOT hurry to rejoice! Maybe she’s a fan of Professor Severus Snape, and that’s far more dangerous!

This is the time when the wedding photos of your peers appear.

A: Congratulations on your birthday! Grow big and beautiful!
B: Thank you very much! I will grow!
A: I have just been sent a letter about how to grow big. You do not need?

Yesterday checked how all these wild-advertised SMS spies work:
I took two phones, from one to the other sent SMS: "Go to h*y!" On the website providing the service of espionage emerged: "Hello Zay, may we go anywhere in the evening?" o_O
The table...

You remind me of Lana.
What? o
– Well... Lan – she’s slim, beautiful and also all on the ponts=)

XHH: From now on, I am practicing abstinence. Everybody calls me Sensei.
See also: Sensei! "Retention" and "do not give" different things, don't confuse them more!

A young pathologist in the death sentence: died because death came.

12:40:13 She: You are my friend?
12:40:24 He: I will tell you even more, MAN

<bloody_neko> vary-ka, grandmother, cheek up! I want dead fruits

XXX: I fuck my mom just shower.Caps lock shower
I brought a shampoo.
YYY: It is funny
XXX: He says, I bought you a good one.
Name you know how?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
YYY: the anti-blush? ?
xxx: The concentrated shampoo provides professionally high quality hygienic care for the horse.
XXX: You didn’t break there?
Stimulates the growth and renewal of the wool cover.
xxx is a puppy.
Destined for regular care of the skin and hair cover of a horse that has lost its healthy appearance.
xxx: aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

c) Vinsdiv

We serve the servants of the people.

I read here, in the best stories of past years, the stunning story of the dreadful dream of the welder Grisha from 23.12.2008. I remembered what I saw on the train.
I went on a business trip this summer. The time on the road is exactly 24 hours. C in the morning settled in a coupe, I find there two companions very nice people, with whom gradually started a simple conversation of people for a day brought together. It was a woman in the years, unfortunately her name I do not remember, and a man at the height of his strength, that is, 40-45. The man was called Vasily, about him and history. In the process of the conversation it turned out that they have been traveling for two days and also talking, they found out that very long ago they served on the same border guard with us in the Far East. And once, the deceased husband of this woman, a person of the pledge saved a young doctor, Vasily, from the inevitable breakdown of his official career in some party affairs there. For which Vasily repeatedly remembered the man with a good word and sincerely regretted this woman that his husband died so early. By the evening, Vasily went to his acquaintances in a neighboring coupe to celebrate his grandson’s birthday. Late in the evening he returned in a wonderful mood with a half-liter that we three drank. I drank according to my abilities, i.e. like all normal women in a foreign company, our companion only lost, I drank from the force of a hundred grams tomorrow late morning meeting with the customer, and Vasily condemned the rest. The rise of the man to the second regiment in the arms of sleep was carried out by three. I, a fragile woman and a powerful and rich Russian language in part matte through the teeth. Vasily at the same time behaved like a normal Russian man, an officer, resembling a sausage. E is none. The soldiers are sleeping, the service is going. At the same time, it is decent and decent not like any alchemy. I remembered the stories of my friends, how they once raised me. Believe me, we behaved differently. In a word, a real officer. Thank God, I got up. We talked a little about their life on the row, the companion told something about the life of the border guards and gradually, under the knock of the wheels, the coupe fell asleep. proved for a short time.
The terrible whisper falling from the second shelf of the body onto a table with glasses and various dishes instantly awakened us and a woman. We were awakened by a thunderstorm, but not by Vasily who was actually snoring now on the floor. The first attempts to raise it very quickly made it clear that the sausage in standing position we were able to fasten up, but now, the paste that it was from the hole between the shelves we are not sure to pull out. Our calls Vasily, Vasily, Wa-a-power stand up! It was accompanied by a sweet sleeping snoring.
And here is our companion with a happy story, A! I remembered! He issued:
Basil, get up, the general is coming.
Instantly! Man is on his feet! I am sober!! What kind of general?
Where is?“He asked me.
It should have been seen. I had a shock. And Vasily assessing the situation, calmly, himself!He entered the second regiment and went on. Only then did I laugh. Very loud for the whole car. When I calmed down, this woman hit me in the head, said, “Yes, Sergey, my husband has long been dead, I didn’t immediately remember, before, when he needed to be raised from the same state, I shouted to him, “Stop in the gun!” and he immediately got up. There was never a seat.
At the same time, “stopped in the gun,” she said quietly. Let the border guard Vasily sleep peacefully, the border on the castle. As long as we have such border guards, we can be sure of this.

President of the Minister of Finance.
Read the next year’s budget. Well prepared, only there is
A small mistake.
And what?
Inflation in Russia next year is expected in the region
eight to ten percent, the numbers are real, but the word "eighty"
It is written slick.

After studying the course of anatomy, I liked to tell a friend who was ignorant of these matters all kinds of "sensations" of the body.
He listened to my ear, so I was talking empty.
But when he, being in a good condition, began to pour all this back on me, intersecting with the matts, but at the same time saying everything absolutely right, it became clear to me why he has not yet flown out of the universe...

Why do cats bite in their heels?
They are spelled by cockroaches who hated this from childhood.
The shoe killer.

Lenin is dead:
We have a day of open doors for parents tomorrow - don't you want to pretend to be a young dad and visit me and the kids, remember the wonderful school days?)))
and Leonard.by :
You combined three of my worst phobias in one sentence.

Dialogue with sister

Ostap: Oksan, I need you to rewrite your home with my mother to me
Okay Okay =)
Fuck me, I am serious!! I have circumstances simple, that’s important.
Oxana: what
Ostap: Well... you understand. I want to drive you out and live in an apartment without you.
Oxana: A, OK
I’m glad you understand me. thank you.
Oxana: not for anything, call

Forum Vwts
And about blinking on the road, where the roads are standing, you will not be offended. Just if the girl is driving, then she won't blink, how many familiar girls are driving, none can, I ask "Why?", and she answers me"And suddenly he will think that I am playing with him". All questions disappear by themselves...smile.gif (c) Aleksandr 1989

SMS from an unknown number:
"According to the law of the genre I had to write <This is my new number>, and not sign up, but I am not an idiot!"
I wonder who it was...