Random
Welcome to Diman! I just wasted today! I am riddled! ?

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Remember my jeans flat hole just below my pockets?

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So here: I sit in the bus, opposite my mother and my daughter aged 4-5. I put my cell phone in my left pocket. A pocket with a pad, and she, scuco, went out through the hole (white such) and twisted 10 centimeters.

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I knock in the window and I hear by the edge of my ear: “Oh, Mom! See also! It looks like a puppy in the hood!"

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Imagine my face and the reaction of neighboring passengers)))))))

I told the girls a strange story. All: oh, wow, and one is "Your mother Cartman!". This is where I fell in love with her.

The wife came and cried out:
I walk in the street, two guys are walking in front of me, pulling something in the box, one on the left, the other on the right. In the face of them falls a cluttered body, not willing to give way to them and began to move their hands and hit. The boys tried to avoid the conflict, but the body did not fit - seeing the box it decided to ask: "What is this?". The guys, looking around, shouted with the choir: "This is Spartaia!" and both synchronously pierced the body from their legs. And they did not deceive - the box was really made of oil "Spartas".

1: I recently went to rest, forgot the eyelid cream, was only for the body. I think the eyes, in fact, also the body, prayed them.
2: And I recently drove, burned my naphyg, and only a cream around my eyes. I think, in fact, everything, starting with the face and ending with the ass, around the eyes is, prayed to them.

My boss on the weekend burned heavily - became even more like a shit

The Masochist Council.
If you are tired of jumping on the grabbels, try jumping on them.
Shut-Nick

2 August

One day, four desant soldiers of the reserve, who were tired of the annual monotonous drunkenness, on the occasion of the day of the Air Force, decided to hold a meeting.
Thematic drunk: In the morning, in the park on the edge of the pond, at the dominant height (sopka) was occupied circular defense - a barrage was cut off, in full height.
At the bottom of the shelter, around the box with the mortar, a warm company was located. Of course, the menu of the festive table was militarily ascetic:
- sausage, canned meat, sushi (seeked for a long time, and the wives turned their fingers at the whisky), well, and vodka (a lot). Everything else was rejected as a foreign element in the diet of the Russian soldier.
Brustver was damaged by the bottle throats. Local alcoholics perceived this as a signal to attack, but were ruthlessly sent in a known direction. Those who were captured on that day were taken prisoner.
(They are
Closer to the evening, the frog walked like a hole with bees in a blue strip, and over it the flag of the Air Force proudly reared. Okop constantly expanded and strengthened, the people had no less company.
Arriving mints with interest observing this picture, shrugged their hand - it is better for them to wave here than to wave around the city.
Crossing through the lying and bypassing the bustling, a desperate lady with a camera broke into the epicenter of the pitch, as a reporter of a local newspaper turned out. Among the crowd she recognized a famous entrepreneur:
Congratulations on the holiday of the Airborne Army! How you came into
Head to come here? Explain – what is it?
Arounding everyone with a dim gaze, the senior replied with a famous saying:
If the mess cannot be stopped, it must be organized and led.

p/s
Of course, it was not written in the newspaper. A local initiative group of support of internationalist warriors, headed by the city administration, organized a cultural and mass event dedicated to etc. and so on.
Someone might even get a prize.

The most influential person after a corporation is the one who has photographs.

If a girl has imagination, then she can safely buy a vibrator for herself!

Sponsor of the show HOUSE 2 - OAO "MegaFon".
The forces of evil unite.

“In Sukhum and Tskhinvali, they have a negative attitude to the attempts of the EES to penetrate their territory,” – did you read it correctly?

It is also a remarkable case when five Russian tanks stopped working and they, in order not to get lost, were shot from the KPWT.
<Beaver{rRr}> this is just ohuenny

Olya (12:45:58 29/07/2009)
Yesterday I asked Sasha if he wanted a child.
Uranus (12:46:04 29/07/2009)
and...?
Olya (12:46:29 29/07/2009)
He looks at me so stupidly.
Olya (12:46:36 29/07/2009)
and says
Olya (12:46:52 29/07/2009)
We first wanted a cat.

xxx: Give me a foreigner... and a soldier... I urgently need to go to GOAAAAAAAAAAA!!! to
The soldier knows best where you need it.

People who are going to hit the Megaphone website! Think of!
----------------------
Do we struggle with their site, from the workability of which the megaphone, in essence, neither warm nor cold? After all, you can try to hack their servers that process phone calls. A non-functioning server responsible for redirecting calls (for example, I don’t know their technology) is a very big problem for the megaphone, a very big money and a very good reason for them to think about whether it’s worth arguing with the runnet.
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Please bring it to the best, let knowledgeable people tell you exactly how this revenge can be realized.

In response to the resume came a letter from a potential employer. The first line frustrated:

Welcome to Andrei Aleksandrovich Prochorov! My name is Ivan Sergeevich, my surname is Krasjuk.

In response to:

Why do people laugh at the traffic accidents, while calmly perceiving the hospital doctor?
____________________________________________________________

Because doctors are also alive people, and, imagine, are also prone to diseases.

XXX: I went on a trip with a friend to Voronezh. We approach the North Bridge (the longest in the city, kilometers two)
xxx: In front of us stops death tinted nine, out of it comes out "concrete boy" in a suit and with a tie
xxx: Opens the luggage, drops a healthy bag from there, with an incredible effort of will raises on his arms and flies in the direction of the opposite edge of the bridge
XXX: We are behind him, I wonder what it will end up with.
xxx: The nine goes in parallel, out of it the screams of the kind "take it, naah, Sanya!" and "you are a man, bl% or not a man?and "
Somewhere in the middle of the road, the patsanu became unable, rushed to give up, but was stopped by the terrible screams of comrades.
xxx: Mika has already offered to bet on whether or not it will be done =)
XXX is out!! to
xxx: At the end of the bridge with a breath of relief "fubble%нах almost died!" the bag flew to the ground
XXX: We approached and asked about the reasons for this event.
XXX: It turns out that the character is getting married soon
Moving the bride by tradition relies on the hands across the bridge
xxx: Through the short Stone Bridge turned out to be "not in a man" and "for the weak"
xxx: decided not to be small and carry through the longest
When the bridegroom shuddered, he began to doubt his ability.
XXX: But the word gave, do not turn away. So I decided to "train" =)
yyy: Harsh Voronezh brides)))))) I want to come to you)))

How are you with Lucia? is normal?
Apparently nothing. I come once a week, fucking.
And the rest of the time what?? to
What... I fucking!
Will you not invite her to live with you?? to
Are you that, fool? When will I then shake?? to

I am a geneticist.
For the last two days, I took over the boss’s note, disassembled the hard pay, assembled a system for a friend (today I will deliver Ubuntu).
Then he caught the flies in the lab with his partner to stick them to a paper aircraft (they should pick it up and carry small cargoes).
This is how medical research centers work.
Biakatcar