bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №18504
 25.07.2009
(Discussions about the breakdown of the outer Winchester)

xxx: By the way, I broke the wreath, dismantled, subordinated, assembled, he earned, and now I am sitting reading instructions to him, it turns out he is not selective.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №18503
 25.07.2009
If the thought is not born for a long time, the chef comes and does caesarean.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №18502
 25.07.2009
I had to serve under the command of a very distinguished, well-deserved general. Combatant, harsh, he made trembling even on the kinds of commanders he saw. When he entered the part - there as if a lion's prairie was launched - no one was left on the street, all tensely depicted active activity in the fields, because for the smallness (from the disturbance of the shape of clothes - to the wrong approach - waste), he could and dismissed. And, here, bypassing the dosage once again, he notices the hidden warrior-time, and lovingly calls to himself.
The Zoldaticus marchs clearly and boldly reports that he, the soldier Hudoberdiev, has arrived on your order. The commander was pleased that such eagles were serving under his command. The only thing that confused him was the shifted side of the cap on the bald skull of the deadline.
Repair the head!“He rattled. The Fighter. Without hesitation, he raised his hands and said, “Yes!He repaired the general fuse, after which he turned around and clearly disappeared in the vast parts.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №18501
 25.07.2009
The bastard! You called me Katie again during sex!! to
It is so dark...

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №18500
 25.07.2009
There was a joke in the metro yesterday. I took a backpack from work, put a guitar in a box and a laptop bag in it. I stand on the pedestal, a guy approaches, says that a tourist, and that I have a funny backpack (and he has me, really funny, special forces with all the twists on the dural frame), and asks permission to photograph this backpack. The backpack is next to me. The man takes a photo, leaves, shows a photo to the comrade. He fits, asks for permission, and also takes pictures on the phone. It is not from this company a man and also a photographer, but no longer a backpack, but me.
I sit in the wagon. There are two girls nearby. Then they approached and said:
Could you take an aphrodisiac?

[ + 155 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №18499
 25.07.2009
There was a quote, said what we are minted goats, where one prosecutor violated the law and was given only two years, and even conditionally. And now think about this: What do you say to a neighbor who is evading taxes? You don’t give it up, no, because it’s not human, you’re not like these disgusting penthouses. But there are thousands of people like him, and you work to keep them alive. And think about how your children go to the disco, get drunk there and rape a girl in the sort, filming it on a mobile phone, and then pouring in contact or on YouTube. Then your offspring acknowledge everything, and you strangle this girl so that she doesn't go to us, say, okay, it's drunk, and especially frozen of you, the bastards start to convince that she herself wanted this, and threaten. Think of your children killing someone drunk, and you’re giving bribes to prosecutors you hate so much that your bastards get rid of responsibility. And now think about why we are so strict with you, why we stretch all the hooks and drive you into a lie at the slightest suspicion. Fuck, you’re a puppy, because it’s scary to realize that the most disgusting and disgusting monster in this country is yourself.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №18498
 25.07.2009
Why did Pushkin die?
by Dante
Any dental illness?

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №18497
 25.07.2009
I admire our sellers in the market. I sit with my bags full of tomatoes. fit a gypsy with a diet, well, standard divorce, type give for food. The saleswoman said 4 words: “Woman, go away, he’s a student.” The Gypsy looked at me with such pity, if I had made a face like a cat in a shrek, she would have thrown my own coat on the march))

Menestrel12

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №18496
 25.07.2009
I searched for the answer to the question 'how to get a girl to leave you?

There were a lot of suggestions, but in the mode 'patztalom' I translated the advice 'break her hand! You are not!'

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №18495
 25.07.2009
asked to tell
The case was 2 years ago...admined in a private firm...collective mostly female with all the consequences...eternally the cable will be broken off, monic will not turn on or screw them in a crack, do not press a num lock or a bunch of folders lie on the ctrl at the gods..in general like everyone...but not about this...burned the printer paper called and said that the printer does not print...I come and spit...a piece of paper(leaves 7) attached to the clamps are placed in the printer’s pot (gratefully the printer from the abundance of paper did not allow the paper to enter the cartridge with the clamps...because it was hurt)...in general I was angry I gathered all the clamps(stucks 7)...and I sp

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №18494
 25.07.2009
I’m not the first month watching the sleepy jokes in the style of the "camedi-club" in the direction of the vase. Who of you who were crazy was in the factory? The bankruptcy of the plant has long been a planned move at the state level promoted by Western corporations. The factory was seized in 2004 by a raider attack at the state level by “effective managers” from Moscow, who began pumping giant amounts of bubble into Moscow and the SPB. Where does this bubble come from if the plant is lost? All of the "help vase" is nothing more than a splash of money by officials and managers who put it on their accounts. And you, stupid and uneducated (therefore not considering yourself as such), are carefully processed on the Internet (the zombie is not for you). You are not told how "effective managers" bought corners with snowboards for workers' money, they do not write about the money for which a charter flight flies every week on the Tolyaty-Moscow route, they do not write that Aryatkov had $130 a month, that he received a year's income of work at the factory - one and a half billion rubles, they do not write that he was appointed by the governor and now redirected all the cash flows of the region to Moscow, that the mayor of Tolyaty with the team of the same managers - controls the money flows from the city. You are not written about a billion euros of shares sold in a factory that has disappeared somewhere.

You only write nonsense - that the state holds a factory.

You can write "to let you die all there in Tolyaty". There is no need for mind here.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №18493
 24.07.2009
Where is the mouse, don’t you know?
YYY: he went to the cinema in half-orks
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince?
Yyy: Well, maybe half-blooded, he was talking on the phone
Have you ever heard of Harry Potter?
YYY: You’ll probably laugh, but I’ve never heard of the Half-Blood Prince either.
XXX is Fig. Do you know anything about House 2?
YYYYY: Yes The show is built at home.
I don’t know how you do it, but I want it too! =) is

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №18492
 24.07.2009
The husband goes to work, looks at the kindergarten, greets the daughter: - Good morning, a TV man!
In response he hears, “Good morning, computer man!”

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №18491
 24.07.2009
The Mint! Do you know why they don’t love you? No, not because you can take the police on the case or without it. Your job is like that.
But for the fact that a drunken investigator of the prosecutor's office kills a woman to death, tries to escape and at the same time tires a few more cars, until he is detained by eyewitnesses... he gets only 2 years conditionally!!! And all this is on the rocks all over the country. and Fuck...
That’s why they hate and hate you.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №18490
 24.07.2009
There is such a bearded joke with the main theme - "Daddy, Daddy, and where is the sea?"
To the boy, Dad shows the sea for the first time.
Look at the sea, my son.
Where is Moore?
That is it, son!
Where is Moore?
Oh yes, here is it!! to
Where is Moore?
Dad takes him by the hand, leads him to the sea, and kicks him. The boy cries out:
Oh what is it?
This is the sea, my son.
Where is Moore?
____________________________________

And this boy grew up.
Kesha, where are you? I am on Moore!
Hi, where are you? I am in Moore.)

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №18489
 24.07.2009
<Mad> The most difficult work in socks. They are on their feet all day!

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №18488
 24.07.2009
On the subject of the pimple on the scrotum and the reflection of the knee...
My wife (at the time) accidentally bitten my scrotum to blood during the type of games and kind of affection. The reflex was double – first with the hand in the forehead (chess the word reflexively) well, and the second in the back with the foot... because from the hand hit she did not squeeze her teeth and led her back. The egg behind her. The leg behind the egg. It was very painful (

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №18487
 24.07.2009
Answers from Google

Damblemort: How to sleep 2-4 hours a day and be energetic and vibrant at the same time?
Shock_one: Sleep 8-10 hours a night :-)

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №18486
 24.07.2009
She (23:04:31 22/07/2009)
Here's how many cigarettes I smoked in these days if I bought a pack on Monday morning and it just ended.
He (23:04:54 22/07/2009)
20 is

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №18485
 24.07.2009
I play PES2009 with Russian comments. The ball hits the player in his mouth and then Utkin pronounces: "Uffffffffffffff...and...I sympathize with this player...he fell straight...khm...I would say straight on the MTS".

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna