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[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №18384
 21.07.2009
XXX is
When she kissed her, she began to breathe often and loudly.
XXX is
I thought it excited.
XXX is
But her nose was melted and she breathed with her mouth, and I bothered her.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №18383
 21.07.2009
In 1957, a dog was sent into space. Women from Mississippi sent a letter to the UN Security Council with the text:
Why send poor dogs into space if there are so many negatives in our city!

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №18382
 21.07.2009
Driving teacher (PW) told the story of how he passed with his friend (D) the technical examination (TO).
PV - my friend is a master of sports (still in the USSR) in boxing, in the size of such that you need to open the second doors of a two-piece door, on the face can be said that it is not loaded with intellect, and it is very strongly beaten, in scars. But in itself, a person is completely harmless and kind.
And here they pass by, they stand next to the car, and next to it is the inspector (P).
P., pointing to the glass - it needs to be changed, here the glass
In reference to Pv. Oh, and what to do now? Should I change?
by pv. - You tell him that cracking is forbidden, and you can
D., turning to P. repeats - the crack is prohibited, and the
P is If I put my finger on this scallop, it will crack.
D is(quietly, calmly and relentlessly) - if I put my finger on your forehead now, your eyes will rise.
P is(nervous) - go through, do not delay the line
by pv. I laughed and I cried

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №18381
 21.07.2009
I've always been interested, and married men don't bother the engagement ring to shake?

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №18380
 21.07.2009
A friend goes into the store:
Give me someone wonderful! Just so wonderful that I’ll come to you tomorrow and say, fuck it’s wonderful!
The dealer in the stall.

[ + 63 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №18379
 21.07.2009
The enemies invented it specifically so that the Russians did not work.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №18378
 21.07.2009
One day I was bored at a history lesson, and I began to count how many times a teacher pronounced the word “Vo-o-out” in a lesson. And he, of course, noticed that I was considering a crown, and asked me to repeat what he had just said. Without long thinking, I replied:
You said "O-O-O" Thirty four times.


[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №18377
 21.07.2009
Link (13:18:03 20/07/2009)
I care about you as a person.

Nastaya breasts (13:18:37 20/07/2009)
honestly?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №18376
 21.07.2009
The more talented a person is, the more giftless he spends his life.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №18375
 21.07.2009
By the way, the delivery of goods to the home was practiced already in the seventies of the last century; and not only in the big cities of our vast country, but also in the most remote corners of Russia.

In one colloquium, right next to the office, lived a grandmother who traded the same. Business with her went well, especially at night - rural mechanics after a working day were often going to drink with a small companion in a repair workshop. As is the case, they also often missed and they sat on the tractor and combo and went to an entrepreneurial grandmother for a supplement. And everything would be good if there was no sudden competition in the person of another pensioner, who also decided to do this lucrative business and opened his "point" of night trade. It was very close to the workshop, because it was very close. All the clients went to her now, and the first grandmother began to bear huge losses. The existence of the company itself was threatened. I had to do something.
I found an old way out!
As mentioned, she lived next to the office. And there were only three phones for the whole collage: in the office, at the workshop and at the dairy farm.
In the office - unlike the farm and the workshop, where the work boiled for a day - there was no one at night. The phone was. And the ringing of this phone was loud - in a quiet summer night, it was heard a couple hundred meters away, even with the windows closed. Next - simple: from the workshop calls to the office - the grandmother believes calls - the number of calls strictly corresponds to the number of bottles ordered. and all. Then the order is placed in the backpack and on the motorcycle will be taken to the customer. Delivery is free.
From the farm they could not call by definition, because they knew that at night there was no one in the office; in addition, calls, appearances and passwords were kept in strict secret from the female part of the village population. The likelihood of someone mistaking the number was insignificant and the scheme worked smoothly for several weeks. Until someone finally got the number wrong.
It was about twelve o’clock at night and my grandmother was already asleep when the phone ringed in the office.
She automatically began to count, and, without opening her eyes, sat down.
in the bed.
– Two... three... four... – she, not looking, slid her legs into circumcised pools.
I put on the rubber boots that stood right away.
The phone continued. The calls were somewhat unusually long, but she did not pay attention to it, afraid of falling out of account.
At eleven she finally woke up and sat, opened her mouth wide and opened her eyes, afraid to believe her fortune - like a wholesale order at retail prices!
At the “seventh” account, the phone finally silenced.
The grandmother remembered, shut her mouth and, finely and quickly crossed three times, rushed into the basement for the goods.

In the workshop, two mechanics of the night shift foolishly stumbled on some kneeling, when the motorcycle was shaken shortly on the street and immediately silenced.
After a couple of seconds in the gate, pushing their back and pressing a heavy backpack to the chest, the famous self-suicide grandmother collapsed.
Then followed a ruthless and unnatural scene - an elderly woman imposed her goods on two young, healthy men.
The alcohol!But they refused.
The joke!The grandmother ored.
We are neither dreams nor spirits. I tried to break the mechanics, and where?
We have so much!
It is unknown how long it would have lasted, but there was a thunderstorm of three or four more engines from the street, judging by the sound of motorcycles.
“The Urals.”
It turns out, an incredible number of calls heard not only the car driver, but also the mechanics who lived near the office.
The news of the incredible scale of sabotage in the workshop immediately spread among the male population of the village, and everyone who could rushed to come to personally take part in it.
In short, the grandmother was not left in the box - that night in the office the phone ringed twice...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №18374
 21.07.2009
knock at the door. The man opens - stands a skeleton with a notebook and asks:
Siddhartha Petrovich?
Yes... And who are you?
and death.
Is it already behind me?
Not yet yet. I conduct a preliminary customer survey in order to improve
Quality of service.
Oh yeah yeah? Then I went away from here so I couldn’t see you!! to
and thanks. I write: “Prostatic cancer and cataract.”

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №18373
 21.07.2009
I sit laughing fucking.

YYY: What is it?

xxx: a friend writes, bought a clay hawaiian. I ask you to show me :D he says "Ji, MSI will come!". I sit like an idiot and wait for two hours. A bell at the door. There is this miracle in Hawaii "mmsko came!"

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №18372
 21.07.2009
Zippy: Birthday with a familiar defk with 1st size. Read here a quote about "This is not Photoshop", then about "I look for 3D Max". I thought... I gave a maid with the inscription "Syski.rar"

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №18371
 21.07.2009
SpuG
We have a whole balloon with helium at work... work doesn’t even think to start...

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №18370
 21.07.2009
Fox: If a man is what he eats, then I’m a 70 pound pelmecha.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №18369
 21.07.2009
From W. Googl.

The question:
I am 13 years old and I have a beard and a beard. Is it bad or good?

Answer to:
Are you on Linux?

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №18368
 21.07.2009
Bl* I hate minors who write in the column about the university: "I do not add anyone, although try it, suddenly you will be lucky!" And who needs you so stupid???????????? to

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №18367
 21.07.2009
...and I was expelled from the Book World when I turned all the Bibles into a section of fiction.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №18366
 21.07.2009
on the beach. The sea storms. A young father takes the little daughter under his arms and carries it to the water, enters somewhere on his knees, drops the girl into the waves, the child wildly cries, the dad, satisfied, cries to his wife on the shore: Cold! But he did not get out of the water.)

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №18365
 20.07.2009
From Wikipedia: The musicians whose recordings were used as torture were not informed about it and learned from the newspapers. According to The Guardian, this may be a copyright infringement, and musicians have the right to demand payment of fees.

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