bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №15063
 11.03.2009
I read a Soviet book about marriage and sex.
He killed a counselor.
If a man has a large penis, then in order not to injure the uterus, you can use the following method:
Measure from the head of the penis 10-14 cm and wear an expander (!) This will limit the length of the member.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №15062
 10.03.2009
I understand that many people love strawberries, but the spam titled "The Naked Shark of Jacques Chirac" is already overwhelming...

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №15061
 10.03.2009
8th Morning
Happy 8th of March, girls.
From one room:
I have given birth to you, and I am a woman for a long time now.
from the other:
I am only 12 and I am still a girl.
From the kitchen:
I’m 18 and I just got home from the guests, so thank you.

My own morning begins

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №15060
 10.03.2009
Do I think or do you think?
It seems)
But I was very pleased with this assumption.)

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №15059
 10.03.2009
The Cave (12:35)
He gave it?
by Pira ( 12:38)
I understand, of course, that he knew me well in a year, that I don’t need any swamps. But, fucking, I had a full month of status in ask, that I want white roses, such an easy hint...
Sweepstakes (12:39)
Did you bring the nails? And the two? ?
by Pira (12:40)
No is! A glass of beer)
Sweepstakes (12:42)
And you are?
by Pira (12:45)
I’m sitting, rju) I’ve got roses if I have a CSKA beer bowl) But he guessed me))))

[ + 57 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №15058
 10.03.2009
On March 8, he woke up in the morning from the noise in the hallway and the cry of his father: "Go to bed quickly! I’ll bring you coffee to bed now!"

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №15057
 10.03.2009
Ran: >>"What does a man know about a woman?"- this is the name of his book by an American who printed it with completely empty pages. Each copy in the printing was covered with a polyethylene film.
And at the very end, such a small-small letter was attributed:"They have breasts"))

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №15056
 10.03.2009
I did an audit in a laboratory. 1 C and 7. The fact is that they have animals on the balance, such as mice, rats and everything else. In short, they bought a new mouse for the computer, and their old accountant carried it in a vivery and each month, in good faith, wrote down the feed as normal for her breastfeeding. by % % % % % % % %

from T. by Trixter

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №15055
 10.03.2009
From Asha

Does my name say anything to you?
N.O.S
No is
N.O.S
We are acquainted?

No, I am Anja Ranettka.
N.O.S
What a wound?

Do you know the movie Ranitka?
N.O.S
Are you normal?

I'm normal going on with the youth series Ranetki and I'm there
N.O.S
I played Bond in the last movie.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №15054
 10.03.2009
Summary: First Mother - one of the most criminal districts of the NSC

Just on the radio, DJI reads the SMS:
"Vasa congratulates the PACS from the first mother on March 8!and "
The silence...
And with a grim voice: “Well, you have done so much!”"

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №15053
 10.03.2009
Why do you smile on the photo?
This is a photo of a soldier.
Why are you smiling there?
Because I bought it!

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №15052
 10.03.2009
- I can work for a screenwriter - figured a fantasy plot for a toy - once spit
So let’s show yourself :)
In a new kingdom, in a certain state, there lived an old king. The king had everything - fame, wealth, a faithful wife and four children, but the writer went unnoticed.
- Good binding, but how do you fit these four races?
There are four children: Man, Elf, Orc and Goblin.
A faithful wife.

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №15051
 10.03.2009
We also had a great teaching in political science, his quotes:
The little girl who fell:
The ringing of coins does not seduce the teacher, only the crush of notes!

I lay on the table with a dollar layer from the shop, passing by:
"Well, what do you do... early on"

About mobile phones:
"Well you are adults.Let’s do this: boys turn off, and girls can put on the VIBRO mode"


[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №15050
 10.03.2009
XHH: for nothing. I have a phobia!
Wauu: Chlamydia, viruses and Tajiks are swimming in the Moscow River, and you are afraid to swim there since your grandmother told you that there are cancers??))

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №15049
 10.03.2009
Status in ASK

Tea: tea ceremony could be delayed for 5 hours
Beer: the beer ceremony could be delayed for a few days

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №15048
 10.03.2009
Dad, do not distract me. Now Dima is coming, and I am in one towel!! to
Has he not seen you like that yet? O_O

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №15047
 10.03.2009
xxx (12:45:28 8/03/2009)
ppc
xxx (12:45:37 8/03/2009)
The metro is empty.
xxx (12:45:44 8/03/2009)
Absolutely
yyy (12:45:57 8/03/2009)
The bag? transitioned

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №15046
 10.03.2009
They are victorious and unstoppable.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №15045
 10.03.2009
Probably many of you know a primitive cowboy when you are on the street under
The type of advertising campaign “give” some kind of shit, and then ask to pay
“Only for delivery.” The cost of “only delivery” is higher.
market value of the goods. I have struck it several times,
I’ve always wondered if there really are fools who are crawling on this.
If there is time, I listen with deliberate interest to the scammers, trying to
to delay the moment of sending their infight, hoping to hear something new and
Just climbing up.
And not in vain.
One day a girl approaches me on the street, starts the "standard"
talk: "There will be an exhibition, we will conduct an advertising campaign, we will give you a set of
German kitchen knives. He puts a package with a set of knives in his hands.
I turn the package around and ask, “But they’re not German, it’s written here.
Made in China?”
And I get an overwhelming answer: “It’s all right, CHINA is a suburb.
“Berlin!”

I thought I knew a little about geography.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №15044
 10.03.2009
The FSB over-performed the plan for the introduction of operatives into the gangs.
There are currently 15 groups.
Officials of the FSB.

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