bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №144844
 15.09.2017
Watching “Matilda” will be more terrifying than “It”, because while watching you can burn quite real clowns.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №144843
 15.09.2017
Why do you need best friends?

A girl wrote to me that she’s been in love with me for a long time, and she decided.
YYY: Are you sure she doesn’t follow?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №144842
 15.09.2017
XXX: Question to the knowledge of Feng Shui. Everyone knows that smashing the tiny pieces from the table in the palm is a negative Feng Shui for money. Now the question itself. If my maid so wipes off the table, is it a negative Feng Shui on me or on her?
YYY: Judging by the fact that you have a racing, with your money fancy is all right.
zzz: Ah, all the negative on the maid, so just lower her salary)

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №144841
 15.09.2017
xxx: in Zaryadye "Cathedral of the Banner Monastery" translated into Chinese as "Temple and monastery of astonishing rare guests"
Yyy: in my opinion, we have the whole country - disturbing rare guests

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №144840
 15.09.2017
X: Son, we're leaving for a couple of days and the apartment is completely in your race... can you not call out the prostitutes when I'm talking to you?! to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №144839
 15.09.2017
As long as there is a waist, everything is fine.
Boy, I am sorry for you. If at a weight of 100 kg, your ass is proportionally fatter than the mouthpiece - this is not the waist.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №144838
 15.09.2017
In the past, the water was wet and the sky was of pigeons.

222: Dada, and the horses were salt, and the grass of ants! :D

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №144837
 15.09.2017
>> A little about female logic.
>> One day at work on April 1, a senior colleague was joked about. They bought women’s trousers on the market and put jackets in his pocket. The next day the evil one came and asked everyone who had thrown it.
>> He told this joke to his wife. When she thought, she said:
>> I understand why you told me this. Now, if I find your female underwear, you’re cutting off your job fools.

And you will not tell your wife, because she is filled.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №144836
 15.09.2017
Iphone "es as a dollar"
Iphone "ce as a Russian es"
iPhone "Ten as X"

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №144835
 14.09.2017
Discussion of the Technical task:

Godik: The baby has already begun to walk, has learned to cross obstacles.
He learned to use a spoon, drinks from a cup, knows how to chew solid food.
He understands everything he is talking about.
Look, the dolls have much more progress than we have with you.
Please write a summary of the requirements for more than a year of discussion."

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №144834
 14.09.2017
The bottle is too little. Two is too much. Three is right.
The second is Axioma!
Y1 is postulate.
Y3: Theory of theory. They require evidence!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №144833
 14.09.2017
08.06.2017

There is a cat at your doorstep.
This is my Vaska. I went out the window to walk out the street again.
Oh, it would be nothing, but you’re like the ninth floor?
I am myself in shock! How does he do it?!! Nothing but cat teleportation can explain it.

11 September 2017

Yeshua is Yeshua! I discovered the great secret of cat teleportation!! to
A cat just jumps onto the balcony to a neighbor, and there lives an old woman under ninety. She will feed him and swallow him, and let the fox go out. She doesn’t let go, she’s scared.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №144832
 14.09.2017
Escape from the army.
XXX: How should it be shit in the army that the soldiers are fleeing from there?
Yyy: We have a daytime runner who has been home for less than a month. The logic? And she is not. But part of the weekend was fucking, and I was sitting on the plate with a rack and taking reports for reporting.
Yyy: Fuck shit, because the rack did not work at me

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №144831
 14.09.2017
What do you do, I’m driving the car!
My knees are so missing on your hands!
M: Your knees were 40 centimeters away.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №144830
 14.09.2017
The prostitute

After the universe accidentally turned out that during my studies I slept with half the flow (this is about 30 girls). By the way, they were mostly sympathetic. And I was sitting, listening and jealous of myself – my relationship was built outside the university, and there were no thoughts of betrayal.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №144829
 14.09.2017
Does anyone know of a photographer who is engaged in underwater photography?
2: Ball from Prostokvashino

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №144828
 14.09.2017
Here only give girls still not "adequate-careful", and thus "macho".

No, they give just those who give the girl what she wants. And for this you need to be just adequately careful and understand when you need tenderness, and when you need to knock a member on the table and order her to immediately dress up and go to bed.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №144827
 14.09.2017
In fact, Stephen King’s universe is quite a safe place. To survive, you just have to stay away from the state of Man.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №144826
 14.09.2017
In a wave of general suffering over the beginning of the school year, I discussed the school years with a friend. Next with his words.



“My parents didn’t force me to go to school. Dad was only pleased. In the morning we woke up - the lopata, the villas, the cattle, the straw... Nothing, but not to sit at the lessons. Another day I did not go to school. The same scenario. On the third day, my father only opened his eyes, and I was already in the corridor with my wallet in my shoes. I loved to study.”

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №144825
 14.09.2017
XXX> now the Internet of smart things is coming, everything with wifi. things are smarter than people
YYY> userk: so I have a Nokia for 400R, so I don’t mind. The Complex :)

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