and greymage:

Sony sent me a special offer: an MP3 player for 99 990 rubles and headphones to it for 139 990 rubles. Without any diamonds. There is no platinum either. But an aluminum body and some stiff condenser. Probably this condenser can be used in gauss cannon pumping systems, otherwise I am just confused.

You can also get a discount of 10,000 rubles. Nobody wants a discount on such a wonderful set with a condor for gauss guns?

In general, I am not ready; but, as they say, thank you for the offer.

Empty refrigerator is the best way to lose weight.

The Christmas story.
Readers with a strong anti-American allergy may prefer to refrain from reading history.
The Christmas season is in its height, music on the radio is typical for this time of year, the people of the Christmas tree pulls home, parties, mornings.
That’s all that reminded me that ten years ago I was destined to be there.
The real Santa Claus.
The story begins, like all my stories, in the hospital, or rather in the wake-up room, where we hand over our patients to nurses after anesthesia.
I’ve done it all by routine.
With my back, but I feel – the tension grows from behind, I hear trouble.
I turn — a boy of 10 years, a thin blonde, after a petty surgery with anesthesia — runs into a real epileptic seizure.
I get into the situation - I am the only doctor there at the time, we quickly set up all anti-epileptic measures for him, the people ran for help, the boy finished shaking, came to consciousness.
I continue to drop his medication, I drop my schedule on colleagues, I only deal with them.
Epilepsy history - no, the first case with witnesses.
We call Mommy - a tortured young woman with three children, all younger than her brother, he is older.
I reassure my mom - I begin to ask her, it turns out - he had moments of silence and absence, as if... showed a neurologist? No, did not get, like the pediatrician sent, there was no time, alone at home, husband in Iraq.
On the phone with the child's pediatrician - the dristun was found, refused to approach from the office - uncomfortable to him in the hospital with a critical patient, you see, not trained.
is lying. I sent him polite...
Give me the tube of the pediatrician of intensive care of a large hospital - that clearly got into the situation - a critical patient in a small hospital without a pediatric intensive care - transfer to me, I send a pediatric resuscitation brigade for transportation, lasting an hour and a half-two before their arrival. Fu, it was allowed - treatment agreed with him by phone.
I go to the family - the mother in panic, what to do with other children - to go with them or leave here, the question - with whom?
Unknown to me, someone has already notified the officer to help the families of military personnel.
Approaches me a man - in the state, a major - very pleasant, how can I help?
I tell the situation - the mother breaks in pieces, the child is translated.
Yes is. Go back, doctor, to the child, I will work on a plan for help.
I reassure my mom - the help came, and the child is better, completely hesitated - while hesitated.He has to go through a lot of different examinations, in intensive therapy to lie down - until Christmas, and possibly longer.
I thought it was like Christmas, brother.
The officer worked quickly and efficiently - the children are taken by the neighbor on the base, the mommy can go with the patient. It seems all...
not all.
He calls me aside, I need to talk.
The command of the base contacted the head of the child’s father in Iraq.
He wants to talk to you.
It brings a phone - I have not seen such - a strange look, satellite, something.
I take the phone – I hear it well, by the way – general.
Tell me about the situation, please.
He has two questions for me. First, how serious and unstable is the situation? Very serious and incomprehensible - until pediatric neurologists set up treatment, we translate it into pediatric intensive therapy. So the second question is, how necessary is the presence of the father?
How much will it affect the treatment?
I thought for a moment about the worst behind me.
On the other hand, the tortured mother will break between the children and the hospital – 50 miles from us, not close.
And Christmas will be more fun for my patient.
The benefit will be enormous, I think its presence is extremely desirable.
I will ask you, doctor, to go and announce to the family and the boy that the father will be with them in 20 hours.
He said goodbye and asked to send the phone to the mayor.
I flew to the man - he was very happy, the eyes glittered, the mother translated the spirit.
I personally led a brigade with the patient to the exit, my mom hugged me and I said goodbye to my patient.
So I seemed to have visited Santa Claus for this child.
Happy holidays!! to

He is a wicked man from the morning. With his wife quarreled, the daughter yesterday again brought a couple from school, cold on the street...
It looks like a Mercedes is moving at a huge speed. He stops the car and begins to scream at the driver:
Oh you, your mother! Why did you decide not to observe the speed, carrying on the opposite? Were the rules not for you? Documents here, quickly
The crippled and pale driver stretches out his documents, which the haishnik immediately tears, throws him back into the salon, spit in his face and shouts: "March after me, goat!" He moves toward a patrol car.
Then the policeman looks around, looks at the Mercedes number signs and notices the AMR series with horror.
He immediately turns, approaches the driver and begins to excuse himself:
- Sorry, I don't know what happened to me... From the morning the day didn't happen, and don't worry about the rights, I will make new ones for you, tomorrow!
The driver wiping the sweat off his forehead:
Fuck them with their rights! I almost had a heart attack! I thought the power had changed.

Opened a group with music, I see, an album under which a lot of likes. Well, I think I should try. And not really bad.
I started reading comments:
“I didn’t think I would face the problem of having my first album on the net a day before it was released on iTunes and VC. Polish, of course, but it’s a wild shit."

You are fucking yourself:

A ton of watt under normal conditions is about 6 Newtons lighter than a ton of iron.

What to fuck? How is it, smart man? Is it different for cotton than for iron? How does it depend on temperature and pressure?

Je - it does not depend, and no one cancelled Archimedes' power.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh If you paint hair around the hole in the fence, the man will go there!
WOW: It is not true. The man will require the fence to be epilated :)

The letter “G” must be banned, because if you turn it, it looks like a member, and is pornography.

xxx: the letter "G" no matter how you turn it - it still resembles a member. You are a maniac, doctor, because you show me such pictures!

Right to write - "the presence of the atmosphere". There is the letter "E". 6 letters of the alphabet. Exercise, it is not difficult. "The atmosphere"
......
It is hard to live without a sense of humor. You do not feel sarcasm, you do not understand jokes, and people look at you like a fool.

X: Are there audio files in the chat?
YYY: Yes, I am
XXX: Oh well
XXX: I won’t talk to you anymore

Sitting on the bus, found a ticket on the seat, I look - happy. I sit and hold in my hands. The conductor decided that he had already fled - he drove on the hole. Really happy!

Hm... And if he was called Christian Brown, then in Russian translation the book would be called “50 Shades of Brown.”

I killed Yandex pictures "Bahamas", line Yandex direct "Are you going to Kazan? ..."

It was long ago. My friend Oleg in the 90s was riding a skateboard. And now he is 10 years old and his parents gave him a long-awaited skateboard. Oleg did not slide off the skateboard for days, gradually learned to do the simplest tricks on it. He was riding and training from early spring until late autumn and was only stopped by snowfall. Happiness lasted for two years. The spring of the third season of ownership of the skateboard. On Sunday, Oleg went to Chulan to bring his favorite into order and did not find it. When asked where the skateboard, the father replied that he gave it to his cousin's 6-year-old nephew, you have grown out of it, and Sasha is happy. My friend did not get hysterical, but concealed the deepest resentment and planned a terrible revenge.

On the weekend, Oleg’s father decided to do his favorite activity. Creation of large-scale models. But to his horror, he did not find in the servant not only the unlipped aircraft, but also all the other models. In response to his father's screams, where his favorite tanks-plane-boats, Oleg unwaveringly replied that he gave them to Sasha, because you grew up from them, and the boy was happy.

The attempt to punish Oleg was prevented by the mother, reasonably stating that the father was his own fault.

He bought a new skate in two months.

XHH: It often happens that you want to explain clearly, but in fact there are excuses.

WOW: Well, when explanations go in response to a raid, they almost always turn into an excuse. When a man says “yes, I fucking goats on Saturdays” simply because it’s his goats and his weekend, it sounds different than to explain in response to an outraged confusion that it’s all because he was swimming with a goat in his childhood, and just on Saturdays...

Belarusians released beer with the slogan "Calendar night"
Why do I want to sing and not drink?

Cats were considered a god and worshiped in Egypt until the 3rd century and on the Internet in the first half of the 21st century.

Dealer - from the English dealer, from the English deal - a deal, to conduct a deal.

Dealer – from the English dill – straw. In other words, a dealer is a person engaged in the production and/or sale of crop.

Attention the question:

Who are the car dealers?

Primary School, 89 years.

The teacher, before leaving us home, says: "Boys, do a good, useful thing at home today for parents or others, and tomorrow we will talk about it, consider it a homework, I don't ask for other lessons. "

PFF is. The gift of fate, nothing asked.

The next day, she divided us into three teams and asked, “Masha, what did you do?”

I helped my mom wash the dishes.

I helped my father hang the rack.

I washed the floor.

I brought up the bag.

Who is okay, the teacher placed a flower on the board for a successful pizzage. Our team ceded and in the third round I gave:

“When I went home yesterday, I saw an old grandmother digging potatoes behind the fence, I decided to help her and we both quickly dug her up.

The teacher was upset, but she reluctantly gave the flowers to our team, but we never won.

On the change she approached me:

- Denis, what a potato, -7 degrees, October in the yard.

He was with me last night. A store of the class "Larok with a shopping hall" in the yard of the complex of houses. A man buys cookies, dry and obviously not the best. The saleswoman said to him, "This is unfresh cookies, it is dried, take this [showing what], it is softer and more tasty." The buyer replied, "No, I better take it, or the good aunt will eat it all."