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[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №137741
 12.01.2017
How to kill a dragon.
Let us go to the classic. If the dragon is breathing fire, it is necessary to provoke him to sit on the hemp field. He will light up the field and breathe smoke, then he can go wet. But there is a danger that the knight will also breathe, and they will sit there to hiccake and find out who is a dragon, who is a knight, and who is a dragon horse... in the sense of a knight, until the smoke dissipates.
And in general, serious potions to wet the dragon without PZRK do not go... on the hemp field

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №137740
 12.01.2017
I need to buy a toilet and a toilet.
XHH: and the tiles
Well, and all the hernia for aligning walls and workers.

YYY: You are
yyy: workers already leveled berries )))

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №137739
 12.01.2017
XXX: I submitted an application for the change of the driver's license at the state services
...
Twenty-first: Papuas who are tired of running, gathered, thought and decided that they need to make a bicycle, convenient - it is going and you do not need to run. But, foolishly, in the place of the wheels they sent triangles, not circles. If you push him from the hill, it is like he is driving - you do not need to run.
But a healthy person looking at these joyful papuas was just shocked by what he saw.

YYY: In general, you described very eloquently, the unfriendly user interface is blinded, the type of functionality performs and how with it.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №137738
 12.01.2017
#natural products

I remembered an old joke from KVN:
- Grandmother, have you seen me water apples?
There is no grandfather (and he starts eating an apple)
And I watered!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №137737
 12.01.2017
I got sick before the New Year. The whole holiday lay - cough, rhinitis, antibiotics... I was treated on my own, but on the 2nd I went to another city, and I was not transportable. I went to the 1st clinic. Three blacks in the corridor.

The door opens and the doctor comes out.
Do you remember that you are hurt?
Blue and synchronous:
Their...

This is how we should celebrate! I remember that I am hurt...

[ + 44 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №137736
 11.01.2017
xxx: there was such an application in TP: "The modem is faulty, the subscriber asks to indicate in the application that when watching an erotic film, the sperm fell on the modem, now the modem smells and smells, it is necessary to check the modem if necessary to replace. Preferred time of communication 9-21.

yyy: Drinking on the modem is hard)

This is the internet shit :)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №137735
 11.01.2017
The celebration continues

* for the "butulism of steam milk" - is it probably a humour like that?* is

"For botulism steam milk" is a toast!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №137734
 11.01.2017
On all my familiar smartphone native keyboards, the letter Y is obtained by long pressing the letter E.

A great human thanks. Now I know a little more, yup.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №137733
 11.01.2017
Ice in the city. At the door to our entrance is a smooth and shiny slide. Someone decided that this was not enough, and carefully placed a banana skin in the middle.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №137732
 11.01.2017
Do you have a tail in your farm? No is. Do you live in Russia?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Here my mother sent me a hammer to another country on the shore of the Mediterranean Sea!
Ordinary Soviet even, hammer from the hostel. in the mail. Why not ask...
The package came to the address of a distant relative, she brought it to me.
I opened the banderol with her.
I’ll never forget my aunt’s face.)

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №137731
 11.01.2017
Yesterday I was offended by a girl, so I saw that the pizza delivery service on my phone was recorded as Pizzulechka, and she was just Lena. He says you treat pizza more gently than me. I had to come up with the idea that it was I who called her such a joke.

No, well not to explain to her that my relationship with this pizza lasts 7 times longer than with her)

By the way, the pizza was always brought on time, and the girl never came anywhere on time. Such things.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №137730
 11.01.2017
Once, telling my daughter a fairy tale about the cowboy, I thought about the fact that the story of the wandering bakery character is somehow too short and ends on the fourth representative of the local fauna. Of course, as a means of strengthening family arrangement and preventing dromania, the fairy tale works. But only if we assume that the main character will be naive, inexperienced and with an intelligence ratio in the area of sixty. The saga about the cautious paranoid Claw would probably shame Donzov.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №137729
 11.01.2017
#WhyMorocco

<<my mom sent a hammer to another country on the coast of the Mediterranean... >>

The oysters on the usual knock do not open, but closed firmly from the inside.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №137728
 11.01.2017
Grandma always stocked all sorts of items for her funeral... well there are decent clothes, shoes, clothes for the grave. The Red. From this red cloth I had a vampire coat, and my grandmother’s inserted jaw in my mouth looked fantastic.
Did your grandmother be buried again?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №137727
 11.01.2017
Let’s go faster to come faster to not go!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №137726
 11.01.2017
At seven in the morning you can only want to kill) and sleep.

The second desire is stronger.

Wow, you’re such a passive killer, in your head – you’d kill everyone, but you’re sitting on your bed, looking at one point and trying to figure out where the butt is.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №137725
 11.01.2017
Nevertheless, the love of the Russian people for a tail is something genetic, inferior only to the habit of the maternal design of absolutely any thought, whether it is something concrete, like a cat under the foot in the sweat, or abstract, like the theory of relativity in its own presentation. Our man with a tail can do everything: from cleaning the territory and building masterpieces of wooden architecture to defending his own civil position. Do you have a tail in your farm? No is. Do you live in Russia?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №137724
 11.01.2017
The most funny thing about the current KVN is that it is virtually the only social elevator that exists today.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №137723
 11.01.2017
From the Auto Forum:
The question:
I have a mystic. Last winter it was 20. I drove a car with an enclosed oven. A sharp thrust. He killed two mice. They pulled them out, the threshold stopped. As before, the oven stopped working. In the autumn, my thermostat was repaired by the master worked as before. Now winter has come and the stove does not work and the consumption from 8l.100 km became 12.
Per anyone has had something like this please tell me.

Answer to:
Most likely, the mice helped turn the fan on the oven, and you killed them.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №137722
 11.01.2017
When the wheel on the fur changed, the long-distance driver realized that he had found his destiny.

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