bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №129439
 15.06.2016
After the purchase of the product I receive from the online store message: "We were good with you, thank you".
What do they hint on?( by

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №129438
 15.06.2016
Do not occupy the driver’s seat. Sign is bad. If you sit down, you will become the conductor.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №129437
 15.06.2016
Tell me who your friend is, yes.

You know, when everybody around me is fucking me, my conscience won’t even kick if I’m fucking somebody, yes.

No one is fucking me. My conscience doesn’t eat either. They try, but not. And since I want honesty from people, I do it honestly and we have full understanding with others.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №129436
 15.06.2016
M-video consultant loves to troll egeshniki.

He goes to the exams and asks with a loud whisper: Do you have anything to say?

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129435
 15.06.2016
I got a new passport on Saturday. There is no living place in the old. I came to the CON, took the ticket, began to wait. My number burned. I go to the table and there is a young man serving. I stand at 2 meters. I hear conversation.

One thought on “Can we go to the cinema?”

The CIA officer does not respond.

“As long as you get free, I will take you,” Romeo continues to insist.

I wanted to hurry him. "But if this is the case, I will show patience, I will go out for a moment, suddenly there is some kind of alliance," it shone in my head.

The guy, without worrying, generously gives compliments.

She returns his identity card, herself looks into the monitor and says loudly: "That's Danijar Serikovich! is married! My wife is Gulliver. and. and. The year of birth. The children. and. and. Begin to name x names and years of birth.

The man was confused, apparently not knowing that all the information about him in the database is available.

She asks, “Will there be more questions?”

I almost laughed, but pretended I hadn’t heard anything.

The young man retreated very quickly.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №129434
 15.06.2016
One night, a drunk man came to me at the stop. It was late and there was me, a drunk man and two typical grandmothers on the bench. Suddenly I looked at the man and he started telling me what kind of homosexual I am and how he kills people like me in packs, and that he was already sitting down and not going to go back there. He told me this from five meters away, I decided to ignore him, because such a contingent is ordinary for my city. He wanted the extreme, and he began to go a quick step toward me, but I went ahead of him and struck him down with one blow, not that I was a fighter, just in his condition there was enough spring winds to lose balance. So, at the moment of the blow, I already started to hear the screams from those same grandmothers from the bench. The first thing I heard was a request to leave the stop in the direction of the reproductive organ. I reasonably thought that it was not me, but a drunk drachun, but they began to swallow their hands and threaten to challenge the police at the time. They said that they would arrest me, that this man has heart problems, and in general he is a good person, just a little over-drinking today and he was not lucky to get into such a lump and degenerate as I am.



The man later stood up and with threats to call his brother went into the depths of the courts. When he got away, the noise level from the mum dropped slightly, and the couple of minutes that I waited for the bus only and heard the repetition "no, you can't do it," "the man is good," "and this one immediately in a fight" and so on.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №129433
 15.06.2016
This manicure:
Then let’s do this: a working person who does not pay taxes will have to pay for every police call, for every investigative action they perform, all medical actions also for money (read the prices of private clinics, be surprised), use of any roads payable (pay the receipt of the operating organization), kindergarten, school, university payable, all certificates and papers payable, inheritance to be issued - pay for months of notary work complete and much more. After that, you can put it in the bank.

In the clinic, only a visit to a specialist is free. and all. I visited her more than I wanted this year, so I know. In the paid hospital on Fontanka prices are the same, but surprisingly better equipment, repair, maintenance.
In educational institutions on a regular basis. I don’t need to argue that they are not mandatory. If you try to avoid it, the child will be affected.
Notaries have been paid for three hundred years as, with freezing.
On the roads travel is paid, and the tax on them, by the way, is taken from car owners and transport campaigns.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №129432
 15.06.2016
Scientists UrFU: replacement of topols with other trees will save the city from puha.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №129431
 15.06.2016
A man who is unable to explain the origin of his millions is undoubtedly neither a thief nor a fraudster. He is just a wizard. The witches were burned in the Middle Ages.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129430
 15.06.2016
Known for its pearls commentator Gennady Orlov after the end of the match Wales - Slovakia (2-1) in the live broadcast said: "Nothing that the Slovaks lost, in the next match will win."
All would be nothing, but the next match they have with the national team of Russia.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №129429
 15.06.2016
I work as a salesman in a digital salon, once after work I sat in a bar and looked at a beautiful girl nearby, she noticed it and asked, "Did you want something, young man?" I said, “No, I’m just watching.”

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №129428
 15.06.2016
The idea is not bad, but:

Geektimes /
Free your imagination: what if the pigeons lived in roys, and in each roy there would be a pigeon’s womb that would live in the stratosphere in constant flight, dropping one egg per second, so that the egg would be heated by air friction and the new pigeon would peel out without touching the ground?

only if they will peel out already operated, otherwise the earth will be filled with broken naked chickens.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №129427
 15.06.2016
I actually asked about this, suggesting that a small lie for the sake of profit will inevitably evolve into a big one.
With all the terrible corruption and theft, the overwhelming majority of the population lived better.
When it comes to impunity, you are right, only those who pressure women and children are not associated with the state.

///////////////////

that is. Still, your postulate is that anyone who rejects a housekeeper in primary classes will inevitably become an unprincipled errant?

With the fact that “living has become better, living has become fun” the overwhelming majority of the population will not agree. Well, only a few regions will vote 99% for it.)

Each association has its own. But how then to explain that the grandmother who took secret (stolen) from the neighbor's cloth is closed for 5 (!!!) After two years, the state official who murdered two women is actually released. Examples such as shit for the bathroom and they involuntarily form an associative series in the possessors of information.

And the singing of the local lighthouse officials “Ah-tyzh-mraz-tax-neplOtiš!” has only one nature – the fear of an empty coryto. Departure of ten thousand customs officers. You burn in a fire hyena, steal tens of billions from the people’s pocket – sit at home, think about your behavior.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №129426
 15.06.2016
Today he was a doctor of historical sciences. He is now 65 somewhere... Boltali about reworking the motor of the penny under the 76th gasoline. So he knows perfectly about the padding under the head of the block, where the penny spread and what the Soviet engine differs from the fiat engine. Yes, and this computer he would have repaired himself, if he had guessed to clean the holes under the refrigerator... Not the one, in short, now went humanitarian.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №129425
 15.06.2016
>>yyy:
>> This is a joke.
>>So I'll grieve someday that Voltaire is Tyler Dorden of Harry Potter and will bear)

"Harry Potter and the Methods of Rational Thinking" by Eliezer Yudkovsky
Your world will never be the same.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №129424
 15.06.2016
A colleague once said:
Why is deception a deadly sin? Maybe you just lack serotonin. God himself did not give it.
And do not tempt us to re-capture serotonin by nerve terminals, but give it to us today in the synaptic gap.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №129423
 15.06.2016
This is:

> Are you ready to give birth together with the babies and to endure the clutter of doctors? Then yes, give birth for free.

In a city where there are more than one nursing homes, only one specific nursing home will be accepted by BOMJAY and illegal nurses. If you don’t want doctors, don’t start first.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №129422
 15.06.2016
XXX: Do you want to go?
YYY: There is no one behind me. Especially the Pride.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №129421
 15.06.2016
xxx: There must be some reaction, they’re not really there zombies?
Yyy: If it is necessary to lie for the good of Russia, they will lie.
What if, for the benefit of Russia, we should lay the asphalt or raise pensions?
I know, they’ll lie too.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №129420
 15.06.2016
A friend told how a girl came to them in the printing room, asked to print a white square without a frame. I thought I gave her a clean A4 sheet. The woman paid for the print and left. Everyone is well)

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