The 11th class. Exam in Biology. (After the choice of which)

The biologist came overwhelmed and at the beginning of the exam dropped, leaving the teacher under the control of OBŽ.

I have two questions on the ticket. The first I do not remember, and the second "use of microorganisms in the people's economy". Well, I pretended, ready to answer without preparation. The man says, wait.

I wait. There is no biological teacher. He says, go and answer. I fit. I tell you how to use yeast for the production of самогоon. (My grandfather was able to do that.) All the technology was told. He did not even hear about the production of biogas from fertilizer. Go to Five...

The official said that electricity prices in Russia are on average 30–50% lower than economically justified.
How many times the average salary in Russia is below the economically justified, he modestly silenced.

It was 6 years ago. I met a guy on the internet, agreed to meet after work. He was late for 15 minutes, I was hungry and very angry.

I look at the sides and see a two-foot bearded man approaching me, wearing glasses, a huge shirt and with a leather bag across his shoulder. I strained a little, and he approached me and said:

- Go sooner, or there are so many people, to kill their hunting!

My legs immediately became cotton, I was so scared that for the first time in my life I had the thought of just turning and leaving.

Why did I go with him? It was very simple, I wanted to eat.)

When we went up the ladder, he took off his glasses and hid them in his bag, and when I asked him about his vision, he replied that he was wearing them just “for the point.”

I wanted to run for the second time, but we got up. Later he admitted to me that he was so nervous that he decided to behave strangely to remember :)

We came to the cafe, I hardly listened to him because I had already buried that date. Then I began to look at him somehow, and he is nothing like that, no longer like a maniac, his eyes are beautiful, cheerful.

There was a conversation, we talked for two hours, we walked around the houses if not a couple, then good friends.

On a second date, he brought me a nest. It’s not a joke, I was looking for a rekvizit for the filming of advertisements, and in all the stores and theaters my question caused a wild whistle (which is understandable, by the way), and naturally nothing was found.

And there he called. I complained to him that there was such a trouble, and he asked to wait a little. An hour later, I had a picture of a nest wrapped out of seed (he had a rabbit at home). I didn’t believe it until he brought me a box with him. And then I realized I wanted to see what happened next.)

After two weeks we started living together, so we still live together - fun and in love :)

They beat the drums of war to silence the bell of empty pots!

When you take one step from love to hatred, take that step back.

Specifics of the Aitish logic

We got a new installation and software to test it. Program with a limited number of launches. Excessive - cuts out and does not start again. Buy the full paid version. And to buy yet early, we check if this very inexpensive thing suits us. Therefore, the computer with the software dumb does not turn off at all.
And the software folders, among other things, are continuously filled with new and new, very large results files. The program is already slowing down. The whole group is looking for ways to delete unnecessary files. without a result. There is no “remove” button. There is “processing.” There was no “removing.” There are "save", "save as", there are all sorts of others, but one and close to "delete". Standard key combinations do not work at all.
Finally, our patience ends and we contact the developers by phone. A tired or slightly sleepy man hears the claims, and with a slight irritation, slowly, like children, begins to explain. In the voice there is a disappointment in stupid, not understanding elementary, customers.
Open the “Results” folder. Opened up? Choose a file to delete. have chosen? “Click” on him. Separated by? Now press the “Save” button. Stumbled on? The program opens a window asking you “Save: Yes or No?” You choose “No.”

One girl went to Hermitage, saw pictures of naked women and then became a prostitute.

I don't know if I ride with a sexually mature child like this, but my mother taught me once and for all to drag money out of the house.. I remember I was 12 years old and I made friends with one guy, he was an orphan, lived with an adult sister who used drugs and this is how we walked with him and how this conversation came I don't remember, but I said that at home on the refrigerator is 500 rubles, he convinced me to steal them, what I saved and did, the legend for parents was this: I was met by the elderly on the street and under the threat of execution, forced to bring them 500 rubles. Mother in the evening naturally understood everything, but the sight did not give, said what called the police and really called, the staff came, she spoke to them and they told me to sit down and write a description of "the robbers", I do not remember at what moment, but I broke and told everything to my mom and the police and there happened the unexpected, the staff put on me real bracelets, mother began to tell them the type do not put him in jail, he is small yet, but they were relentless and put me in the patrol UAZik, in this cono for 2 seats, clogged the door. I sat down and imagined that I would be sitting in jail now and crying quietly. The police officer who was talking with my mother apparently sat in the car, because the door was blown and we went, we rode around the house and went to the entrance, but in the sensations, the time lasted for an eternity and we were driving for not less than an hour... In general, when the police officer opened the door and I saw my mother at the entrance, I was just upset, apologized to my mother and why then to the police, since "as my grandmother whispered," no penny from the house has ever disappeared and now there is no other thought to take. This is a small story...

My sister told me yesterday that I would never get rich. Because I: ate a child’s bitten coatlet; made great shorts from short jeans; I drove to the mouth of Moscow for some terrible warehouses on an internet order, because they have a delivery of 550 rubles.

My sister said that I have the psychology of a poor man, that subconsciously I enjoy such a life. And that Big Money loves those who really want them, not those who are accustomed to doing without them.

If you have three hundred thousand for a vacation, will you fly in business class?

No why? I’m better for that money.

and VOOT. To become a millionaire, you need to feel like a millionaire. Within the inside.

Do you feel?

“Not very much yet,” said the sister. - Only I will go to live wider: throw out the socks, take a taxi to the bakery, so as soon as intentionally - then my husband will be placed in quarantine, then the car broke. A magical circle!

Putin instructed officials to deal with the rise in housing prices in Russia after they successfully dealt with the prices of products and the indexation of pensions for working pensioners.

A memoir about the Thai toilet.

A tour of the Golden Ring of Russia came to some male monastery. I checked everything, I had to go to the toilet. The master pointed to the staircase down, saying there you will find everything. The ladies went down and saw two doors with the signs “B” and “C”. A lively discussion began - where to go? Some ladies insisted that they need to be in "B", but I just don't understand why so rude? Other girls have quite admitted that they are “C,” but again, why so ignorant, though honest? The question remains open: where do men go if both doors are female?

The conflict was resolved by the descending obedient, explaining that the inscriptions mean Brothers and Sisters.

Is it normal for young girls like us to be under forty?

So many ropes don’t fall.

Today I went for lunch with a colleague who came back from the United States. He told me a story that I can’t help but share.

further from his face.

I met a guy there who was the head of a small company that was developing some GPS applications for different phone platforms. And this guy just killed me with his story... his company was small, but quite successful. And then one day at the corporation one of the employees began to rub everyone that he is in a society that believes that the earth is flat and that science is lying to everyone... even a reference to a special wiki gave, and boasted that his point of view is respected by everyone and generally their 10% of such believers and each day they are getting more.

The boss listened to it and quickly fired him. The guy immediately to the court, said they fired him for professing a different faith and all that... And the boss through the lawyer explains that their firm is directly related to the development of the latest and innovative technologies GPS, cartography and other systems, which involve spherical earth, and he with his statement questions his qualification in this field of development and so he was fired, so that the company does not lose his face and his competence before global customers.

The trial this guy with flat ground lost, and the boss said he would not tolerate such idiots at his firm :)

This is what I understand “fighting darkness” :)

Good news and education :)

I remember the boss asking me who of us is a fool, I or he.
I answered that everyone knows that he doesn’t hire idiots.

I have a main job in the factory, an engineer. And also a passenger gazelle on the route runs. One day I had to transfer the money to the driver for maintenance 5000p. The route passes by my work, after 4 stops I am home. I follow Glonass where my car is driving. Coming in, I did not get the money in advance and I was pushed to the end of the salon, but at the entrance he of course saw me. And here we go means and I understand that I can’t get ahead, I think I’ll go out through the back door if anything. I take a paper of 5000 and I say please give it. And my fifth swam through the cabin with a slight confusion of passengers. The driver calmly took the bill and put it in his pocket. Here is my next stop, I scream to the whole salon: “Stop next...”

We approach the stop and there is a man shouting to me, “What about surrender?”

I said, “Let it sink.” And I go out.

After 10 minutes, the driver calls from the terminal and says, "Petrovich! Well, and your humor, I was almost killed here while I was driving to the end. The police wanted to call the Department of Transportation. No one believed that you were the owner and just gave me the money...Shortly tie it!

As a child, I watched kung fu films, took Tao de Jing from a friend and decided that I would be a blessed monk.

In the evening, my mom came and asked when I was going to wash the dishes I promised to wash yesterday.

I: Lao Tzu teaches that even if nothing is done, the problem will sooner or later resolve itself.

Q: Do I wash my laundry?

I: As an option.

...

That evening my mom peeled me off with a vein, and I realized that Buddhism wasn’t mo.

Many people nowadays prefer to have their brains washed than their hands clean.

The Partial Pediatrist. Awaken the Pioneer Camp.

The continuation. The beginning, about the kitchen of the pioneer camp - in yesterday's issue.
https://www.anekdot.ru/id/1201722/

After bringing order in the kitchen of the pioneer camp, well, order from my point of view, but not with the cook, I became bored and I used to actively participate in the educational and entertainment process.
The leaders were slightly tense.
But since the children and the leaders themselves were now fed much better, the pedagogical collective began to tolerate me with restraint.

I proposed the scenario of "Neptune Day"; the intelligent role of the same Neptune; the public selection of captains for the role of seawives; the classic "topless" variant for seawives of the director of the camp for some reason immediately rejected with indignation... and the radioist said that "at last the doctor is a man" and offered "the key to the radio rubbish at any time" (ha, yeah, I have the whole medical unit and there is also an insulator); the circle "Young sanitary"; "let us bring the children on a march, and with a nighttime at the coast... which is immediately on Noah, I am of a clean heart..."; the young fisherman competed for the heaviest fish (a 200-gram someone tried to catch), the largest (12 centimeters), the largest c
I was tolerated only because I honestly implemented all my ideas myself, well, how it will work out.

In the afternoon, a pioneer came and shouted, "You are called there on the shore, there uncle drowned."
The heat, the afternoon sleep, threw his coat, in his pocket a pharmacy, a phonendoscope on his neck and a swinging halo jumped to the shore.
Under a half-meter-long clay slope, two men crawl, some bright cloth rolls, and the director of the camp rings from the top of the shore.
I look with the eyes of the drowning man, I see nothing. He jumped from the breach (goodbye, the white coat clean) - no one was injured.
He looked around, then, finally, realized - a bright cloth is a float on a man, he himself is the colour of clay, from a couple of meters you will see the figure.
In short, the brigade in the car of the household service unit, which belonged to the camp, returned from the area. They went to their camp, drank a little (this is a plus 30 in the shade) and took a swim (the river is almost mountainous with cold water). The man had something like an asthma attack right in the water, he didn’t even whisper, stopped breathing and lay down.
The scooters caught him, pulled him out of the water, and can not lift him up to the shore on clay.
I don’t remember what he had there with the pulse and other things.
I found at least some vein on the rear side of the wrist, hit immediately, I had a syringe, and dropped what was in the pharmacy bag - prednisolone with dimedrol and some antispasmodic.
The lungs were almost clean - the spasm of the bronches not only prevented him from breathing, but also prevented the water from rushing while he was cool at the bottom.
In short, a man was suffocating in me, coughing.
Three of them somehow pulled him off the shore, put him in the shade of the van, I went back to the medical station, and this brigade soon left.

Universal respect and even some reluctance of others corrupt quickly.

After breakfast, swimming in the river.
The hour - the children, the hour - the middle, the hour - the senior units.
If at the beginning of the shift I came to the shore and, standing on my knees in the river all three hours watched the children swimming vigorously and forced to watch with me the bodyguard who wanted to watch for the chiefs, then now it looked like this: the full doctor walked to the beach, selectively choosing a place (you can think that from yesterday the river changed the course or washed the beach), deeply calculated the movement of the shadow from the only rope, pulled into the sand a rod with a white rope and a red cross on it from a tape of someone's band, type "there will be a medical point", allowing the chased head - "children can be launched"; and lay on a sandstone in a bowl from the medical flag, strictly punishing the surrounding "
Fizruk exhibited to me the comfortable sound level of his cassette magnetophone "Spring" and every 20-25 minutes changed the side of the single cassette with Rosenbaum, which I heard then for the first time.
Until now, I know, “At the Pavilion of Beer-Water was a Soviet post. He came from the people. As they say, “your boyfriend”; “Hunks” and all those early works of Rosenbaum that fit on the cassette, and the blasphemy, listen twenty-five days in a row daily three or four times the same, and even during the sweet dream – intentionally into the undercourt went.

At the end of the shift, the director gave me an UAZ-"bushank" to take home, usually the doctor was going to the city in a bus with everyone, but when I arrived at the entrance, a surprise awaited me - the driver got out of the car and pulled into the apartment two healthy cardboard boxes, in which there was a bowl, condensate, ham, wheat and sugar, little that a bowl with ham was then deficient, and there were so many products that I fed the family almost not before the New Year.

The payment for the beach-camp barrel surpassed me in the first duty - I remembered Nothing, neither dosages, nor treatment schemes, nor compositions of droplets, the brains as if the saliva had flooded; I had to penetrate through this a couple or three duty, until the skills were restored.

The next spring, I joyfully gathered again in the same camp, which was answered by the clinic, that "the place is already occupied, they have found another doctor."
Well, I was upset, of course, but somewhere, having learned about the time and place of the first shift of "my" camp, I came to see the people.
And really hailed, when the director of the camp restrainedly proclaimed that "it is very unfortunate that you did not want to work with us this year and badly addressed the team, we treated you honestly well."

Here it turned out that the trade committee of the combination, it turns out, wrote letters of thanks to my clinic, sent letters, asked me for the next summer for all three shifts...

I finally found out what was going on (history 1179076 for 21.01.21) and I went to write an application for dismissal.
This was the end of my “campus pediatrician” career and the beginning of my “rehabilitator” career.

About this later, I will not leave the trip now.

If when reading Russian news mentally add before each “contrary to common sense”, it becomes easier.