bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №128419
 22.05.2016
Is Prokhorov drunk?
and drunk.
How did you allow that?
God knows him. Yesterday there was a fight outside the city, he went there for order and returned drunk.

The “auditor”

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №128418
 22.05.2016
To all bank lovers – remember, all your accounts can turn into a pumpkin. And the ASV may not help. So cash in any case is more reliable!"
At any point, all these papers turn into pumpkin.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №128417
 22.05.2016
I was told by a chemist with the An-2 that when the vineyards splashed on a trip to Moldova, 10 days later UFOs began to appear.
After reducing the dose of home wine, they disappeared somewhere.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №128416
 22.05.2016
The guys today have so many murders, the girls just weren’t standing by.
One in my eyes thirty minutes hysterical, so as not to put a dirty pink shirt under the sweater instead (!He ran into the bathroom, turned in front of the mirror, was persuaded, calmed.
I have broken, wearing, but with what mine. It’s a catastrophe, it’s a ro-zo-va-ja! What the kids will say

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №128415
 22.05.2016
How would you like to be on a deserted island, alone or with someone you hate?

YYY: With the man I hate. I need to eat something.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №128414
 22.05.2016
Help me!!The disappearance of Chihuahua Hua Mini.
Maybe a cat has eaten it.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №128413
 22.05.2016
of money:

A rabbi comes to the parish and asks for advice:
I put my savings in the Agro-Bank and what do I do now?
Transfer them to Sberbank, Inkombank or cash.
Rabbi says – Your question is complicated – not to solve right away, you need to think.
At the same time, a young woman comes into the synagogue and asks:
Rabbi, I'm getting married tomorrow and I'd like to know what to go to bed with:
In combination and in pants,
In combination with no pants.
Clothes but no combination.
Rabbi replies, “Wherever you lie, you will still be held.”
For the client, that also applies to you.

[ + 35 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128412
 22.05.2016
At the beginning of the relationship, my parents agreed to have one child. After the first she started taking the pills, but something went wrong - I appeared. A year later, the doctor apologizing, said that it was incorrectly inserted and that the mother was pregnant again... After the third child, the father was already psychotic and cut off the seed tubes, which immediately decided to please the mother. The result is twins. We are a family of very cunning sperm.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №128411
 22.05.2016
>>> So cash is in any case more reliable!



You probably do not remember the reform of Pavlov in 1991, when the savings of the entire people of the USSR turned into paper.
Drop the golden, what’s there. This is obviously the usual.)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №128410
 21.05.2016
XHH: We have clients in the company Tuzik.
VU: UGU, LLC "Tuzik" makes an act of conspiracy with LLC "Grelka"...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №128409
 21.05.2016
"...learn the language of the country we eat."

In which country do you eat? How is it to be in the country?

[ + 16 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128408
 21.05.2016
And the ambulances as the undermined are called, angry that she did not come to them so quickly, and the state hospital will lie down on the OMS policy, not suffering with conscience at all, and no parasitic nest has yet refused disability pension, etc.



What a passion, what a passion!
The ambulance comes with an analgin, a tonometer and a carrier.
In the state hospital according to the OMS policy, you will buy everything - bandages, bandages, syringes, etc. You will receive bed and food free of charge. Both can be seen in horror films.
Disability pension and associated benefits are unlikely to help you simply survive. Where are you going to get the disability - in the state enterprise?
I understand that your parents in the state structure are robbing on the managers?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №128407
 21.05.2016
The goose pig is not a comrade!
WOW: That’s where they sparked the idea of Angry Birds!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №128406
 21.05.2016
Wunderkind Polyglot, which is:
When I was a child, when my parents were going abroad, I was taken on one condition, if I learned the language of the country we eat. My parents assured me that those who didn’t know the language would not be allowed to cross the border, and I believed it! :D So now I know 4 languages, not counting the native, I think to apply for an interpreter!"
Teaching Russian is not a problem.
"I have the right writing. It’s good, but for some reason it’s crumbling." Winnie Pooh

[ + 15 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128405
 21.05.2016
I had an appendicitis.
Abdomen was upset so I called the ambulance already lying on the floor. At 3 o’clock at night. At the end of the wire, they listened and advised to go to the pharmacy for a knife. There was no strength to divide the discussion. I called back in half an hour. They told me to gather. And we were blasphemous: to gather the poor is only to hang up.
The ambulance arrived. On the equipment of the special transportation I will not say anything, I had no need - just a cold, uncomfortable taxi to the hospital.
They were brought to City Elizabeth No. 3, called in the people the 3rd Fighter because of the highest percentage of deaths. The beauty of reception tranquility I will probably miss.
At 10 a.m., a lovely doctor approached the clock and asked what boom to do - a classic or a laparoscopy. Classic free (cut blisters, 2-3 months of rehabilitation, etc.) and through a hole for 300 bucks (in rubles, of course). Let’s go through the hole.
No further interest. But preparing for the discharge, I was given a separate account for the bandages, some more than +200 backs. House 4 local without searches, food as well.
Do you need to cut the rubber?
MSK please do not worry, we know: you have everything for free and at the level of world standards.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128404
 21.05.2016
In the chat one online game. Team position is out of place.

We’ll all get to Valgalla!
YYY: The valley...

[ + 22 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128403
 21.05.2016
How to read the 1001 Nights Tale? Oh well...

And when the twenty-two night came, she said, "It came to me, O happy king, that the brother of the sinker, when the old woman said to him, 'Take off your clothes,' he rose up (and the world disappeared for him) and took off his clothes and remained naked, and then the girl said to him, 'Stand up now and run, and I will flee too,' and also split and cried, 'If you want anything, follow me,' and she ran ahead of him, and he followed her, and she ran into one room after another, and my brother behind her, and the passion overcame him, and his zeb was running, absolutely wretched. And she ran in front of him into a dark room, and my brother also followed her, and he came into a thin place, and the floor fell under him, and my brother did not have time to remember how he was in the middle of the street, in the market of leathermakers who sold and bought leather. And when the merchants saw my brother in this form, naked, with a raised zebra, with a shaved beard and eyebrows, and with a red face, they shouted at him and struck him in the palms and began to beat him with the skins, so that he lost his senses. andquot;

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №128402
 21.05.2016
No, I do not see

Infantilism and Naivety

Do you not see a connection between your definition of infantilism and naivety?
The terms are not synonymous, of course, but the meaning is very close.
If you do not take the extremes - children who have to, literally, survive from an early age, then it is obvious that the child's perception of the world is much more naive than the adult, that is. It is infantile.
tt d.

Infantility implies that you are not responsible for your actions for everything else. If it were the same one would have been the same term, but they are two and they are different. Get to know them in more detail and do not carry them apart.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №128401
 21.05.2016
Habr, the theme of fighting HIV

XX: So after all, HIV was created in a laboratory, accidentally missed, and the scientists involved wrote an official confession.
YY: How can you accidentally release a sexually transmitted disease?
ZZ: The party in the lab went out of control ^.^

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №128400
 21.05.2016
Is Bitcoin Allowed in Israel?
I’m going to get rid of it... all right now. Even though stop, bitcoin is money? When were the Jews against money?
Bees against honey, Jews against money, rock against drugs.

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