bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №122574
 02.01.2016
Give a man a book and he will read it in a day. Teach a man to write books - and he will spend his whole life paralyzed by doubts and the pain of choice.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №122573
 02.01.2016
Heroes, go to the courtyard to measure the pipes! They have already gotten once every two months here their "values" to discuss!

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №122572
 02.01.2016
To put a point in the pork, I want to remind you that many people just like when a girl like a cat is thick, warm and soft. And no relationship, contrary to everything, which is held on great love, is not implicit here. So with no figure, if this figure did not give birth to a full head of cockroaches, the girl will not remain alone anyway. It is just a little dishonest when a great love is remembered at every corner, and that different people have different tastes - are silenced.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №122571
 02.01.2016
News: A 29-year-old German was killed while trying to rob a condom machine.
After 29 years, the Gangdons have done their job :)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №122570
 02.01.2016
The subway cost 35r.

Mom: Here are those on - 35!!!! to
My Mother: The Metro!
A litre of gasoline!
[13:03:25] Mom: 5 km to the gym and back. I'll save - I'm 35 rays, I'll go to infinity))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №122569
 02.01.2016
We model the situation further:

"As soon as there is a rough strong man who just takes a woman, she is happy to give him, requiring nothing from the above list) nature))"

And then, when a rude strong man is arrested for rape, he is surprised.
- "he was delighted to give"
And in the cockroach he is waiting for the same strong and rude men, but already on the other side.
He gives them with pleasure. Nature is not against it.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122568
 02.01.2016
For the first time in my memory,
Communal services
dealt with everyone.
Falling in December
precipitation

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №122567
 02.01.2016
Bonya: I have a fellow student in the nineties, seriously wanted to defend myself (meh-fak. The Institute of Food Technology was a device that stole the Galarette from a box and sealed it like nothing else. The thing is that such a device really existed and worked.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №122566
 02.01.2016
Commentary on Manga:

Without spoilers? It’s not Star Wars, people really enjoy reading.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №122565
 02.01.2016
Why was I evil before?
was...
You are evil now.
Stay up naked.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №122564
 02.01.2016
I watched women in my life. Fat – that’s what you need.
............
I watched it, I didn’t see it, what is that shit? You need a wallet and brains, and erudition. Children are healthy and smart. And a paycheck...So sho ninada doll, one fuck fuck off.If other than a hui-nichouya, then nahuy, nahuy...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №122563
 02.01.2016
Lady with an electronic thermometer with Zodobal, did you try to read the instructions? There are written normal temperatures for measurement in the mouth, pope and under the mouse, the latter is noticeably lower. It is also written that under the mouse you need to keep another five minutes after the sound signal, that is, approximately as usual, to get the same temperature. During this time, approximately half the degree you are missing. Your average is low. In short, don’t forget Murphy’s law: “If nothing helps, read the instructions.”

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122562
 02.01.2016
My wife talks in her dream. I went to bed late yesterday, and she suddenly turned to me and asked with her eyes closed, "How do you live in this world if you only have 17 heads and one stitch?" On the machine I say, “I don’t know.” She remained silent for a moment, said, “Dude,” turned away and fell asleep.

[ + 31 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122561
 02.01.2016
I went to the kitchen for a snack. Along the way came the realization that 40 years of force still I will die, and I will never be again. But the snail was found and somehow let go.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №122560
 02.01.2016
The cold morning of January 1 of the new year. 9 hours in the morning. Throwing last year’s garbage into the container, I heat the car. A man approaches and asks to bring a refrigerator. I could expect anything, but it was something. I agree and follow the man. We approach the neighboring house and unload the refrigerator from the car. We bring home. They brought to the apartment and the person says - we put here, the owners will wake up to bring in the apartment. A little... I go.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №122559
 02.01.2016
I have a friend who believes in Santa Claus. Actually I want to tell you about it. At the age of six, the boy asked Santa for a PlayStation console, but for obvious reasons he did not receive it (parents could not afford to delight the child). For three years, the boy wrote letters to his grandfather. This time he walked cloudy, overwhelmed, in the eyes of determination. Parents are interested:

Why are you so sad?

I am not sad. He is answering.

What happened, tell me.

I am waiting for Santa.

He will definitely come.

When he comes, I’ll steal him. He owes me a playstation.

The son. I have to tell you something about him.

What is?

My mom and I give you gifts. Santa does not exist.

A long look at the parents.

and Dad! It’s good to cover that old stuff!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №122558
 02.01.2016
I scream to my husband from the kitchen, “Are you going to be an orange?” And I hear two answers simultaneously, from our room "Yes" and from the apartment below - "Nose!" O_O

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №122557
 02.01.2016
Thank you to the neighbors for the fireworks! How good that you have the extra money for my pleasure!)))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №122556
 02.01.2016
Tell me, and where are such golden guys distributed, who do not fall all the hoodie from the spectacle that the phytonaya during the holidays went into the pregnant pig mode?

If you choose not a partner, but a companion, not by appearance, but by love, then there is a high probability of the appearance of an unknown feeling of love. The three in turn provides a stable erection, not disappearing not only from the festive stomachs, but also from the real pregnant stomachs and even, horrifyingly, age changes.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №122555
 02.01.2016
The closure of Lithuania

XXX: On the flibust, access to some books is already closed, but through Tor and I2p access is complete. At least never had problems.

YYY: In the past, they were used for terrorist attacks and drug sales... now for reading books. What about this world?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna