bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №122534
 01.01.2016
When I was four years old, there were a lot of guests coming to us for the New Year, and there was one such uncle — say, Uncle Cole, — who often went out to smoke on the venue. When Uncle Cole went to smoke again, Santa came to visit us suddenly. I told him a poem, and my mind called Uncle Cole, who will miss it all right away. But Santa gave me a beautiful toothbrush with a snowflake and left, and then Uncle Cole returned. I stumbled on him with desperate screams from the series: so long!!! And for many years she remembered and regretted that Uncle Cole’s smoker never found Santa Claus. I recently found out that something was wrong, shit.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №122533
 01.01.2016
The grandmother’s tube flowed.
xxx: my mom and I called the emergency, they put the temporary hood, they said they would come on the 4th

yyy: It sounds very cool)

XXX: Temporary

Yyy: And I thought the tube was hyperspace.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №122532
 01.01.2016
The surviving deceased was heated, questioned and released home. Not long thinking, he returned to his friends – there they worked on the deceased’ memorial, – notes "Primorye 24". A friend of the deceased, seeing the accomplice alive, lost consciousness. However, to continue the celebration it did not hinder anyone."

We will stand and stand!

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122531
 01.01.2016
The average salary in the Russian Federation for 2014 excluding Moscow and St. Petersburg is 18167.

<><><>>
I’d better write Medium. One in 100,000 r., nine in 9.074 r. And we would write what percentage has a salary below the average. Will it be 70 to 80 percent?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №122530
 01.01.2016
Man must be strong! Must be able to make repairs. Well, or even just hole a hole in the wall, hang the painting.
YYY: Now I know where the neighbors with the drill come from.
ZZZ: It turns out that I live in the third gallery

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №122529
 01.01.2016
With the coming year 2016! I wish you to preserve yourself and not forget about self-development. Don’t forget your dream, it can be achieved.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №122528
 01.01.2016
XXX: I thought about it.
XXX: Terrorists must stick the deadly bracelets. Well, who will see a man with a bracelet and think he is a suicide. After all, he makes teeth for the future and spends decent money on it.
I would be the perfect psychic criminal.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №122527
 01.01.2016
The New Year has arrived in all time zones. Happy holidays and a good year!! to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №122526
 01.01.2016
xxx: In general, a beautiful man - put a fifth before "what". The truth is "what"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №122525
 01.01.2016
The best New Year’s toast: So that the next New Year’s table is not scarce.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №122524
 01.01.2016
On the way to a women’s consultation, I accidentally met one ex-husband (which is not surprising, because of the fact that I am a woman). I am attached to his clinic. And then the second, which is surprising, where he came from there, especially in the wake. Unknown is.
Followed by both.
We are three, one with a jacket, the other with a bag.
I go to the registry, I go back - everyone looks at me.
It turns out, the doctor was looking for me, these fools could not come up with anything better than to say, "Woman is right now."
The chorus.
The curtain.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122523
 01.01.2016
In fact, 2015 was not bad. You will soon see yourself.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №122522
 01.01.2016
Vladivostok disgusts: 2016 in Google has not yet rolled out. Who is to blame? and Moscow!
With New Year!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №122521
 01.01.2016
I’m a simple person, and I have a simple life dream – to congratulate people on the New Year, every New Year’s Eve, from TV screens, on all channels, all over the world, until the end of my days.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №122520
 01.01.2016
I decided to put the app under my smartphone. I found one course, like the language is pleasant, I act according to the instructions, I download packages for development, all things. I come to the following point:

Installation of cat

This item is not mandatory, but as practice shows, the presence of a cat allows you to quick results in learning Android. The cat can be picked up on the street, taken from the shelter, bought on the ad. There will be all kinds - red, striped, black. The cat should be washed, fed and planted next to it. Your karma is growing at this time and the process of mastering the material will go faster.

I understand that this is the right course. I would probably even get married to his author :)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №122519
 01.01.2016
Mariya A: Dobbi is free! The owner gave the job!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №122518
 01.01.2016
The man came back from the store, whispering:
I bought a box for you! The whole brain is removed!
Satisfied at least?
and no.
Why is?
You won’t believe that the counselors have been tortured.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №122517
 01.01.2016
Tell me about 7 episodes, only without spoilers.

Well, the rebels are now headed by an elderly Leia like Hillary Clinton, the assailants, where they now take everyone without a distinction, have never learned to shoot, and the grandson of Vader is a loophole Jew who wears a helmet only to look like his grandfather.

Palpatine would turn in the grave.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №122516
 01.01.2016
Yes, because the dream of your whole life is to rob a male with a thick goat in the wardrobe and fight despite the screams and passing by the students of the police school. Three times a week. And you want to marry for a romance with flowers. Only the romantics with flowers and poems usually do not have a thick cock and in the courtyard it can not. Cognitive dissonance is the entire life of a woman.

You have a classic spermatozoa.
Such women exist only in your fantasy and the male with a thick cock in those fantasies are you.
Return to Reality

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №122515
 31.12.2015
Scientific Associate
Ufa
by 6900r
I don’t know where to put the money.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna